AIBU to think my OH is a complete twat?!

[Fatandpregnant]

So I’m 6 months pregnant and we all know insecurities come with being pregnant. None the less my “classroom clown” OH still loves to make comments on other women on the telly and whatnot... it’s half said in jest but it’s often enough that I just roll my eyes and tell him he’s annoying. His most used phrase is “I’d fold it” to pretty much anything with a pulse. Don’t get me wrong we have quite a jokey relationship and don’t take too much to heart. But today he has waaaay overstepped the mark.

I messaged him on Instagram showing him a celebrities story as they were doing a really cool giraffe feeding thing with their kids saying “wow isn’t this amazing, id love to do this”. His response was “do you wanna know what I wanna do”... I said “no, safari?”

Then the next thing to come through was a photo of a girl off the telly on a trashy show in her underwear. He’d mentioned she “was a bit of him” last night.

AIBU to think it was so unnecessary, disrespectful, insensitive and down right rude. I am livid. And I told him so. Did I get an apology? No. Instead I was called a boring c**t for not finding his joke funny.

I’ve been on and off in tears all day since.

Please tell me I’m not overreacting or being hormonal?

What's the rest of your relationship like with this prince among men?

Eugghh, he sounds utterly vile. And if “I’d fold it” is a common phrase from him then I don’t think he’s going to change anytime soon. Given his response when you told him you feel, I’d seriously consider whether you’re happy with this for the rest of your life.

Even if you weren't pregnant this wasn't funny.

But then I've never found this kind of thing funny.

I think he's a pig.

Your OH is a pig.

And if my DH called me a c*nt I'd be packing his bags.

Aibu is not the place for this
It’s just going to make you feel more shit, because no one can understand why you were having one kid with this man let alone 2

@category12 on the whole we get on really well. He just really does think he’s the class clown sometimes and likes to show off. Sometimes it’s funny, but others he just misses the mark.

With regards to him being a dad... he’s genuinely an amazing dad and works incredibly hard. It’s just this whole “I’ve got to be hilarious” facade that is grating!

OP, of course you're justified in feeling hurt and angry. Absolutely.

@meandwinealone well I’m not a frequenter of mumsnet in all honesty so maybe it’s not in the right place. I wasn’t to know

How can a man who is so disrespectful to you be a great dad? He called you a cunt for not laughing at his so-called joke?

You have set the bar very low for him to be ‘great’.

Ok so YANBU to take offence at his twattish behaviour. However, YABU to put up with such an immature twonk for so long and have babies with him.

Well how he behaves with my daughter couldn’t be further from him saying things to me when we’re having a disagreement (no where near my child)!! He’s hardly called me one in front of her

I’m sorry a “great Dad” does not call his kids Mum a cunt, ever.

Even if you were not pregnant, it is really disrespectful to treat the mother of his children like this, especially calling you names.
Ignorant, arrogant and nasty.
Sorry he has upset you.

He isnt a class clown. A class clown is disruptive and silly. He is a disrespectful misogynist. He called you a shockingly foul word when you quite rightly called him out on it.

Well perhaps you’re right,
He shouldn’t call me names. I see how you’d make the connection. I think I’m going to have to readdress this when things have cooled off a bit because it’s not acceptable. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to comment

What a charmer. I wouldn’t put up with that op.

@Fatandpregnant

You posted a thread saying 'is my OH a complete twat?' you got everyone agreeing he IS and you deserve better, and now you are fighting in his corner, snapping at people who are saying he sounds vile, and saying what a 'great dad' and an amazing man he is.

Seriously, WTF is wrong with you?

I agree with the misogynistic comment, he thinks women are objects or cunts, this does not maken of a good dad.....

Does he realise you're his pregnant partner? Sounds like a 17 year old talking to his pal. He sounds awful.

They are always amazing dads funnily enough.

OP you are completely justified in feeling upset both at the comment and at his reaction.

Why do you think your dd won't be affected by his 'funny jokes" eventually? After all they are only a bit of banter/class clown - right? so when she is old enough why wouldn't he let her hear the joke too? If you have a son, his dad will probably be nudge-nudge/wink-wink with him too about the ladies - after all it is only a bit of fun. And women who don't get that are boring cunts.

You’re his partner he needs to lose the geezer boy facade,and be the sensitive man,Fantastic dad you think he is all the time
The smutty sexualised talk it may well be masking his insecurities but it’s grim
He should be able to be himself to you and not a lairy lout making wisecracks

@indialee

You’ve hit the nail on the head there. I was literally just thinking the same and how I’m sitting here now defending him.

I think in reality it’s hard to hear you might have made some wrong choices and It’s hard not to try and defend yourself. That’s what I was trying to get at when someone asked how we get on other than all this sexist shit.

He needs to change. I need to aswell.

Just taking a bit of time to sink in!

The thing is thought op, people DONT change. They are who they are.

@pallisers

I know right. I am always amazed how these men who are useless lumps as partners, (reckless, arrogant, flaky, misogynistic, verbally abusive, often unfaithful etc,) are ALWAYS 'good dads.'

Does my head in.