AIBU to think my OH is a complete twat?!

[Fatandpregnant]

So I’m 6 months pregnant and we all know insecurities come with being pregnant. None the less my “classroom clown” OH still loves to make comments on other women on the telly and whatnot... it’s half said in jest but it’s often enough that I just roll my eyes and tell him he’s annoying. His most used phrase is “I’d fold it” to pretty much anything with a pulse. Don’t get me wrong we have quite a jokey relationship and don’t take too much to heart. But today he has waaaay overstepped the mark.

I messaged him on Instagram showing him a celebrities story as they were doing a really cool giraffe feeding thing with their kids saying “wow isn’t this amazing, id love to do this”. His response was “do you wanna know what I wanna do”... I said “no, safari?”

Then the next thing to come through was a photo of a girl off the telly on a trashy show in her underwear. He’d mentioned she “was a bit of him” last night.

AIBU to think it was so unnecessary, disrespectful, insensitive and down right rude. I am livid. And I told him so. Did I get an apology? No. Instead I was called a boring c**t for not finding his joke funny.

I’ve been on and off in tears all day since.

Please tell me I’m not overreacting or being hormonal?

I find comments like his really bloody foul, actually. He knows you’re feeling shit so takes the time to find a picture of someone he fancies and sends it to you? What an utter twat. And then calls you names cos you didn’t laugh like a drain? Ignorant twat.

Hi OP

YANBU

To be honest, whatever he'd said, even if 90pc of us found it funny, if you told him you didn't find it funny and you were genuinely upset by it, and explained why, the fact he didn't immediately stop saying things like that and apologise makes him a massive twat.

And his response is pretty unforgivable. That's one of the worst insults you can throw at someone, for not finding it funny he wants to sleep with someone else? Is he stupid? Lacking in empathy? How can he not see that when you're pregnant and feeling down about your body, your husband pointing out non pregnant people he wants to sleep with is upsetting? Are all his 'jokes' at your expense?

Tell him Dave in accounts has a pregnancy fetish and you love thinking about him fucking you and then scream at him if he doesn't wet himself laughing

He's tedious at best, but he's revealed his true colours by calling you a cunt. He doesn't like women much, except as convenient holes, does he?

'I'd fold it' meaning what? Something sexual involving a woman? That's a repulsive comment and he sounds repulsive too.

I don't blame you for being in tears all day. It sounds like you're finally seeing the real him. I'm sorry

would you find those 'jokes' funny when not pregnant then?

honestly, he sounds like a thick, nasty cunt who hates women. i cant believe this has come as a surprise to you though.

Also a joke is defined as a story with a punchline that makes people laugh

You should have shot that shot down the very first time he made a comment like that to you OP. He is a twat and he needs to be told that. Sounds disrespectful to you and to womem in general. Not sure why he thinks that acceptable.

Ugh. I’d find this so unattractive OP. What a boring, stupid little boy.

A joke is only a joke if all parties involved find it funny.

He is not funny. He Is a prized dick

So, he objectifies and uses distasteful mysoginistic language when talking about women and then he calls the woman that’s carrying his baby a ‘cunt’.

He sounds like a catch OP. Where did you find him?

*shot that shit down

There's banter and there's being a dick.

He sounds fucking awful. And not funny.

Sounds like a mysoginistic bore. Genuinely can’t imahine anyone ‘laughing their heads off’ at that? What’s so funny about it?

So he has always been like this, but now it bothers you

You didn't think that he'd change at some point did you?

The thing is in the context of your relationship these convents have been tolerated and deemed acceptable jokes (I think there pretty crass and immature personally), but you say you've laughed and been ok with it in the past, so he's just still doing what he does but now it upsets you. Time to start readjusting boundaries in the relationship, but excited push back from him as his behaviour has gone without challenge until now.

*comments not convents, they're not there and expect not excited.
I really need to proof read when I'm tired

He called you a cunt? How rude and disrespectful - I wouldn’t be happy about that.

YANBU at all. I wouldn't find that funny whether I was pregnant or not. And the fact that he called you a 'cunt' is beyond rude.

Ask him if it's ok if in future a man makes comments like that about his daughter or calls her a cunt

He’d mentioned she “was a bit of him” last night.

I've never heard this before - what does it mean?? 

He sounds like a prick FWIW.

Tell him you don't want to hear another word out of him ever about who else he fancies. If he calls you names say "Maybe I am. Doesn't matter. Stop doing it"

If he continues then you know he gives no fucks about your feelings. After all there is no reasonable need for him to say such things.

Tell him to stop completely and remind him sharply if he slips up. Have a totally stony Paddington face no matter what names or excuse he comes up with.

Send him back a gorgeous celebrity in the buff and say ‘i’d Climb over you to get a bit of that!’ Every time, counter him with a similar comment.

Why did you decide to have a child with someone like this.
Or will it be one of the 9 out of 10 accidents even though I’m on 15 types of birth control that only ever happens on MN and never in RL

I would get very bored of this puerile behaviour very quickly especially if he called me a "boring c**t when I was pregnant with his child. I'm with Pallisers and the others on this one.

The trouble with replying in kind though means that he’s justified in continuing to do it. Ask him to stop, and if he doesn’t, then that’s a clear message on how important he thinks you are.