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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think my OH is a complete twat?!

211 replies

Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 21:21

So I’m 6 months pregnant and we all know insecurities come with being pregnant. None the less my “classroom clown” OH still loves to make comments on other women on the telly and whatnot... it’s half said in jest but it’s often enough that I just roll my eyes and tell him he’s annoying. His most used phrase is “I’d fold it” to pretty much anything with a pulse. Don’t get me wrong we have quite a jokey relationship and don’t take too much to heart. But today he has waaaay overstepped the mark.

I messaged him on Instagram showing him a celebrities story as they were doing a really cool giraffe feeding thing with their kids saying “wow isn’t this amazing, id love to do this”. His response was “do you wanna know what I wanna do”... I said “no, safari?”

Then the next thing to come through was a photo of a girl off the telly on a trashy show in her underwear. He’d mentioned she “was a bit of him” last night.

AIBU to think it was so unnecessary, disrespectful, insensitive and down right rude. I am livid. And I told him so. Did I get an apology? No. Instead I was called a boring c**t for not finding his joke funny.

I’ve been on and off in tears all day since.

Please tell me I’m not overreacting or being hormonal?

OP posts:
category12 · 23/04/2019 22:05

Well, you've gone along with his oh so very funny humour thus far, he's just pushed it further, probably because you are pregnant and thinks you're more stuck with him than ever before. He's a misogynist, he expects you to put up with him leering at other women and laugh it off (and you have done for ages previously), he called you a cunt. He's vile. He'll only get worse.

gettofuckthrees · 23/04/2019 22:06

He sounds vile.
I wouldn't tolerate that drivel from DH as my DH wouldn't tolerate that drivel from me.

You are right, it's disrespectful and he's crossed a line. But in all honesty if you have had this sort of banter in the past and it's just now upsetting you then you need to explain that to him.

SunshineCake · 23/04/2019 22:06

It's pretty obvious what I'd fold it means Hmm. He'd bend her over and fuck her.

OP doesn't matter that some people will pretend to not care when their partners tell the, they'd like to fuck someone else. It only matters that he said it, you were upset and he did not care..

Think very carefully about your future. Good luck with the baby.

wowfudge · 23/04/2019 22:06

I don't even understand his comments but I can appreciate he's upset you. He sounds like a sad little wanker tbh.

fruitbrewhaha · 23/04/2019 22:06

Urgh, lets hope you're not having a girl. Will he perve over all her friends?

sackrifice · 23/04/2019 22:07

I don't know what any of those things mean, what is it that made you think he would be a good sperm donor exactly?

Dongdingdong · 23/04/2019 22:07

I'd have laughed my head off.

Hmm
HopeMatters · 23/04/2019 22:08

Jesus, is he 14 or something? What a childish twat. I don't really have any advice apart from get rid of any man who is so disrespectful to women without even blinking. Imagine what he'll teach your child about how men should treat women ☹️

XiCi · 23/04/2019 22:08

He sounds vile. So no, YANBU

fruitbrewhaha · 23/04/2019 22:08

I don't think you are overreacting. Perhaps for once you are reacting. It's an epithany.

MardyMavis · 23/04/2019 22:08

I'd be fuming that's awful I would would get rid and that's the truth.

bebeboeuf · 23/04/2019 22:08

My ex was like this.
I wanted to not be sensitive but it wore on me and after about 10 years of it slowly but steadily getting worse I was a shell of my former self and had lost any humour I once had.

That humour and life came back so quickly.

He is unreasonable, and should apologise.

If my ex had apologised once in a while and made an effort to not take jokey comments too far then I may still be with him.

Instead he called me boring and said he wondered why I couldn’t take a joke

Oly4 · 23/04/2019 22:08

Sorry but calling you a cunt is disgusting. And his comments are rude and disrespectful to you and other women. Why the he’ll would you want to hear that from him?

BlueSkiesLies · 23/04/2019 22:09

Not funny

SandyY2K · 23/04/2019 22:10

Calling me a c**t would be the end, but I know that word rolls of some ppls tongue easily and they don't find it offensive.

I just don't find him funny and maybe if you pointed out good looking hot guys in TV... you'd like to get with, he might just see how bloody annoying it is.

I like a laugh and a joke, but I'd find a man like this as annoying as a teenage boy desperate for sex. Very unattractive.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 23/04/2019 22:11

Gross.

trendingorange · 23/04/2019 22:14

Gross. I'm not sure how you can have an equal grown up relationship let alone parent a child with that arsehole....but it's somewhat irreverent cos I'm not sure how you can change a person the amount he would have to change to become a decent person.
Glad he's not in my life.

IncrediblySadToo · 23/04/2019 22:15

I wouldn’t have got pregnant by him because I just couldn’t have sex with someone who talks like that. It’s just so ‘base’.

He’s really not going to be getting up with the baby at night and trying to settle them is he? Or reassuring you he loves you just the way you are - mum tum and all.

Love, WHY are you having a baby with this twat? 😖

EdWinchester · 23/04/2019 22:16

Is he an incredibly insecure and friendless teenage virgin?

If not - you're with a complete tit. Good luck.

Crunched · 23/04/2019 22:18

Urgh, lets hope you're not having a girl. Will he perve over all her friends?
And let’s hope you are not having a boy, who will be conditioned to think this is an acceptable way to speak about/to women.

EdWinchester · 23/04/2019 22:18

And you know it's not normal for an adult in a loving relationship to call their partner a 'boring cunt'?

Why set your sights so very, very low?

Original poster
Fatandpregnant · 23/04/2019 22:19

Ok so backstory is we have been together almost 8 years and already have One child together so whoever posted about this being one of
Those accidents when I’m on 15 types of birth control you can shove that up your arse.

Yes he thinks he’s funny when he’s probably not, and yes he will make comments about girls off the telly. I usually laugh it off aswell, yes.
Perhaps to my own detriment I admit.

But this was different to anything he’s ever done. And this is really the only time I’ve properly had a pop at him for behaving like a dick. Why he thought I’d see the funny side I do not know.

For everyone now having a pop at me, all I was asking was whether I was justified in how I was feeling. I know not everyone Can see the funny side is crass and rude jokes so wanted to see what the general consensus was.

OP posts:
WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 23/04/2019 22:20

And you are having a baby with this absolute charmer why exactly? He sounds like a class A prick. Is he 17?

Tinkoschminko · 23/04/2019 22:20

I get this, totally. When people try to make ‘jokes’ and you’re not in that zone at all, it feels a bit like humiliation and it’s embarrassing. You were talking about nice things to do with the kids! Read the fucking room, dude.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/04/2019 22:20

She was a bit of me = she’s my type / she’s a bit of all right

Yuk gross. Why would it be even remotely ok to say to your partner, mother of your unborn baby you’d shag someone else or fancy another person? He doesn’t sound like a good catch.