To regret having children?

[ZooNoLoo]

[quote] edit by MNHQ
Hi all. Apologies, but we've got some doubts about the OP of this one, and we're not sure that they're here with the best intentions.

Who knows? The post may reflect a real situation - but the poster has been banned before.

A huge thank you for all those who have shared their thoughts and experiences - we're sure they're helpful to anyone who is reading the thread and is facing similar issues.

On reflection, we've decided to leave this thread up because the contributions from Mumsnetters are so useful.[/quote]

Well, not children. But a child. I only have the 1!

I dislike it. The drudge of family life, very limited time to just enjoy myself, everything considered for DC before I come into it. The lack of personal space, all the worry (I'm a very practical and matter of fact person but even I worry sometimes as a mum).

I'm just sick of the whole thing. I really think life without children is far better. I look at families with more than one child and feel somewhat uneasy. It's not something I could ever even consider.

I don't enjoy being a mum. I don't enjoy parenting.

I feel like I've done a bloody good job so far and my DS is beautiful and a lovely little one. But if I could turn back time and didn't know he existed. I would.

It's an odd one, I could easily be without children if I could change things. I just wouldn't be without DS since I know him now and o adore him and love him unconditionally.

It isn't something I'd recommend though (being a mum).

I have been gifted with an extremely easy child too. 0 sleep deprivation, 0 fuss really. It's all been very breezy. But I fucking hate family life.

It is Ignorant to call someone an awful person

I didn’t call you an awful person. I called the reason you gave for having a child awful.

Also, how do children not add meaning to life and give life purpose?

You don’t have to have children for your life to have meaning and purpose. Indeed I would say that if you are relying on a child to provide this then you are putting a very unfair burden on them.

Jodie, I find insulting for you to think that all childfree couples think about are meals out, nights out etc.

For a start just because we chose not to have children we are rolling in money so could not afford meals out very often. Secondly there is far more to life than going out and spending money.

While lots of women do find having children fulfilling I certainly do not think it's true that having children always enriches your life nor do children give your life purpose.

I don't know how old you are but you seem to have some strange views on children and parenthood. I think if you do decide to have children you may well be in for something of a shock

@mydogisbest - You have eliminated the section I said about free time! And only mentioned ‘Jodie, I find insulting for you to think that all childfree couples think about are meals out, nights out etc. ‘

Not an insult to say people without children have more free time, for most people fact. What you choose to do with the free time I have no idea but why you would take insult to that is just beyond me.

I never said meals out are all childfree people like to do.

I’ve really had enough of some people on mumsnet. I feel I can’t come on here to get genuine advice because people read into every comment, get overly sensitive and then make assumptions, judge and bully people.

Im really grateful for the useful comments but the negative ones are so unnecessary.

If there is anyone out there that has Been on the fence about motherhood and then had kids and it has been a positive experience I’d like to hear from you.

@Jodie571

You really do come across as someone who has not the most intelligent of reasons for either having children or remaining childfree.

Children are not there for entertainment or to fill up your life and time. If that is a primary reason for having children then I pity the child/ren of such parents.

Many people choose not to have children because they are dedicated to a career or vocation. This does not give them oodles of spare time or cash to spend on nights out and fancy holidays.

Maybe educate yourself on the numerous good reasons why some people choose not to have children rather than lazily thinking it’s simply because they want more spare time and nights out to fill their hollow and meaningless lives.

@blessedfox, perhaps offer some advice on why you decided to have children or something to help?

You too beclev24 - it's not easy

Maybe Jodie it's because childfree people get sick and tired of being told we are selfish and chose not to have children because we want expensive holidays, meals out etc.

All such rubbish. We chose not to have children for many reasons:
The world is already overpopulated
The world is pretty awful place to bring children into
We wanted our marriage to survive and far too many with children don't
We could not afford for me to give up work as I was the higher earner and I would not want to work if I had children

Other reasons too but none of them because we wanted more money to spend on ourselves.

We do have more free time which, for us, is great. We go for walks some with, some without our dogs. We go to museums, art galleries, castles, stately homes, gardens, nature reserves, wildlife parks, the cinema, the theatre. We cook, we garden, we do diy on our house, we read, we watch tv, we watch dvd's, we listen to music, we watch F1 races, we use the internet, we talk.

I knit, I sew, I paint and upcycle old furniture. DH likes to tinker with cars. He also works.

For us there are never enough hours in the day. Never bored or trying to find things to do.

When I say make life meaningful I mean give it a purpose. When you are childfree there’s only so many meals out, nights out, free time you can have...or maybe not?!

I've read many pathetic pieces of rubbish on herewritten by people of low intelligence but this ranks highly.

So let's see....

I don't have children. I've won the highest award in my profession - the sort of thing people dream of winning and few will ever achieve. I might have done that if I'd had children and a very supportive husband. I couldn't have done it as a single mother. I did manage to do it as a childfree woman and it gives me great, great pleasure every day. It was a life purpose to do work to win this award and the win has given me greater opportunities and a greater purpose. I have a sense a purpose and joy every day.

Here's a few women who are/were childfree and seem to have a found a purpose beyond having meals out and almost certainly will have achieved more, almost certainly had greater sense of achievement and life fulfillment than most of us on here will ever have childfree or not:

Condoleeza Rice
Gloria Steinem
Rosalind Franklin
Theresa May
Helen Mirren
Katherine Hepburn
Candace Bushnell
Charlotte Bronte
Emily Bronte
Florence Nightingale
Mother Theresa

I could go on but I've got too many meals out to eat.

What a very sad post
Yes, children change your life
It can be stressful
You lose sleep, money and your whole lifestyle changes
Children have made me feel every single emotion going magnified by 100000, the good and the bad
Everything is multiplied
Fear
Anger
Fatigue
Worry etc etc
But also
Laughter
Love
Pride
Joy
Your little boy sounds lovely. Please try to enjoy the years you have together not resent them
My youngest will be leaving home in a couple of years and I’m dreading it already