Bathing your kid twice a day .... is it me? Am I an evil step mother.

[lickencivers]

I’ve gained two lovely step children. One of which suffers from pretty horrific eczema. Especially on hands (all cracked open at the knuckles etc). Whilst I have dry skin myself I have zero experience of this sort of stuff with my own DC.

DP and their mum seem to be using a lot of steroid based cream and epiderm but it doesn’t do a thing to ease him.

I’ve suggested alternative things (like putting porridge oats in a sock in the bath) as helped the itching when Mine had chicken pox etc

However, they bath their kids normally twice a day. If not twice then definitely religiously every night. Without fail. Gina Ford babies —I didn’t do routine either— any way. Any help or advice? Because I’m getting ulcers biting my tongue.

I would of thought two normal baths a day would be no good for eczema and would make the skin worse.

Keep biting. It's not your business. You have zero experience, so let them get on with parenting their own child.

Bathing twice a day is ridiculous.

When my DC had eczema we bathed her twice a week - it was fine and helped to stop her skin drying out.

That's a difficult one. Bathing twice is a day can be really bad for your skin, especially eczema prone skin. Have you suggested to your partner to try reducing the number of baths and seeing if it helps at all?

@bridgetreilly harsh. I am biting my tongue. But they live with me half the time too. I have my own DC and I’m a paramedic so I’m not entirely stupid regarding health.

That will be making the ecezma sooooo much worse. I’d say alternate between showers and baths and only once a day. Absolutely no need for more than that. If he goes to daycare he can have his bath/shower after that. I’m surprised their GP has t already said this? It’s the first thing I was told when I took my daughter to their special eczema clinic.

Twice a day? Why? total waste of effort and probably not great for the eczema either. When they bath the kids what do they use in the way of soap? I'm assuming something that the kid won't react to....

I have very bad eczema (cracked hands, very dry skin) it's managed slightly by steroid cream but still bad. When my face is having s flare up it's really difficult to control. Water 100% makes it worse. It's annoying as it really makes you want to wash more etc... But it's not great. As a child who maybe doesn't sweat so much, I would say limit baths as much as possible

Maybe ask DP to ask the dermatologist about this at the child’s next appointment? Or the GP if they don’t see a dermatologist.

Well Dp uses no bubble bath or such here, not sure what their mum uses. The routine of bath and the epiderm battle is doing my head in. I think I’m being massively intolerant but they cry each time not wanting a bath etc and I have asked him just to flannel faces and bits etc but it’s conditioned into him by their mum.

Bathing that often is surely making it worse for the child though?

Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do really other than the odd suggestion. For what it's worth, the intense recovery e45 cream has worked wonders on my sons and my own eczema.

Dd had horrendous eczema and I was told by the gp not to bath her every day as it dried out the skin. At her worst it was probably twice a week I bathed her, in aveeno bath oil. I don’t see why they need one twice a day!

Dd had horrendous eczema and I was told by the gp not to bath her every day as it dried out the skin. At her worst it was probably twice a week I bathed her, in aveeno bath oil. I don’t see why they need one twice a day!

My DS had eczema for a couple of
Years and epaderm applications every few hours and steroid cream twice per day got the flare ups under control. I also limited his baths when it was bad because water makes my skin dry and I figured I wouldn’t want to wash the grease off his skin that i’d spent all day applying. A dermatologist once told me that greasy skin is happy skin

I wouldn’t bite my tongue when it concerns a child’s health. Would you bite your tongue if say, they had cut themselves deeply and needed stitches but the parents wanted to put a plaster over it?

You are a hcp. Show them the evidence of excessive bathing making eczema worse. The poor children are getting cuts on their hands, it must be horrible. How will you feel if it gets progressively worse? How long will you bite your tongue?

Get expert advice and follow it. YANBU.

Aveeno Dermexa is expensive but AMAZINGLY EXCELLENT. Nothing worked for my son but this, I bathe him once/twice a week

Bloody crazy
This bath-bed routine is modern day tosh
My parents' generation had baths once per week. Less for babies.

When my ds was a baby (he's a teen now) we had a new bathroom put in by some twatty builders. They took 6 weeks of pissing us around. My ds didn't have any baths in that time. His skin was and still is excellent.

I'd google a site about eczema care and show your DP the advice on it. Then it's not 'you' telling them how to look after their child!

Not sure of the politics of how to do this given the circumstances but you could try Lanisoh. I've found it to almost cure eczema on hands overnight. Apply right before bed.

Two baths a day will not be helping, surely..?

This is a tough one because you'd normally stay out of it, but this is most likely making things much worse. My dc had bad excema and I bathed him twice a week at most. Like you said a flannel wash is fine for the other days.

My DD had eczema and the GP told us to only bathe her when she was actually dirty as warm baths dry the skin and make it worse, he also said to limit baths to 10 minutes. The hydrocortisone cream we were given bleached her skin so we stopped using it, switched to less baths and tons of cocoa butter moisturiser and thankfully it cleared up quickly. It sounds like their mum and dad are making it worse for the poor things, they must be so uncomfortable.

I don't have eczema or anything but even washing my hands too often makes my skin all cracked and dry. No wonder the kid doesn't want a bath twice a day! Their skin must be so bad!

I'm not sure I could hold my tongue tbh but I appreciate that as it's a step-family it isn't as easy as just saying my god stop washing them all the time!

I would second the PP who suggested getting them to ask the doctor about bathing at their next appointment.

Their father needs to grow a pair then doesn't he? And deal with it with his ex.

Keep biting. It's not your business. You have zero experience, so let them get on with parenting their own child

Bollocks. Twice a day baths are likely harming the child. It’s well established that frequent washing strips the skin oils and exacerbates skin issues. This is not a parenting issue it’s a welfare issue. Eczema can be horrendous, steroid creams have terrible side effects. There is nothing wrong with opening a discussion- if they have been medically advised to do this for some reason o/p will learn why and what the bathing routine entails- as it’s likely to involve special soap, creams and possibly wrappings.

O/p I agree with pp who say get dp to ask a medic if you don’t think your direct input will be welcome.