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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bathing your kid twice a day .... is it me? Am I an evil step mother.

337 replies

lickencivers · 17/04/2019 21:05

I’ve gained two lovely step children. One of which suffers from pretty horrific eczema. Especially on hands (all cracked open at the knuckles etc). Whilst I have dry skin myself I have zero experience of this sort of stuff with my own DC.

DP and their mum seem to be using a lot of steroid based cream and epiderm but it doesn’t do a thing to ease him.

I’ve suggested alternative things (like putting porridge oats in a sock in the bath) as helped the itching when Mine had chicken pox etc

However, they bath their kids normally twice a day. If not twice then definitely religiously every night. Without fail. Gina Ford babies —I didn’t do routine either— any way. Any help or advice? Because I’m getting ulcers biting my tongue.

OP posts:
WhoatemyLindtbunny · 18/04/2019 22:04

How do they have the time firstly?!? And no no no, DS had bad baby eczema and we were bathing him every other day. GP said twice a week for a month then every other day once we’d got it under control. Just have a little chat with your DH about it. From my experience stopping the steroid cream for a acweek a or so then starting again can work also its just a case of trying different emolients. If they've been using epiderm a while chances are its not the one. We’ve got a cupboard full of stuff!! CeraVe and epiderm works well for us. But I know people who've tried those and nothing.

icedgem85 · 18/04/2019 22:08

Bite your tongue. They’ll be under a dermatologist who has recommended it I’m sure. After huge amounts of trial and error we’ve found the balance of bathing, emollients and steroids that works for my son and some people might think it’s ‘over the top’ but they’re not the ones who have been cradling him crying at his worst in A&E with infected eczema all over his face. No one puts a routine like that in place without good reason. Keep biting.

pollymere · 18/04/2019 22:10

Ouch. Kid with eczema I would probably only wash once a week unless they got really dirty. My dd seems to have survived with only once a week and her eczema disappeared the minute I stopped washing her more often.

user1498809986 · 18/04/2019 22:11

My son has had eczema since he was born (he’s now 9) and we’ve battled it ever since. Drs for a long time (as most have already said) told us 1 or 2 baths a week. We’ve tried lots of the main creams and none have really worked great, in so much as that his skin still dries out and sometimes cracks no matter how much we/he smothers himself in it. We end up using betnovate for flare ups and have, over the last 6 months, ending up using it most nights on the worst parts. He’s got eczema on his scrotum (sac) too which is awful to see him itch and get really sore sometimes. I took him back to the docs a month ago (a different gp than our normal one) and she told us to shower more often as sometimes everyday bacteria/sweat can exacerbate eczema and as long as he creams after the shower it’s perfectly fine to shower every day. We were also advised by a pharmacist at boots to try dermalex repair and restore (you can get it in boots, but not at gps as it’s not on prescription yet, it’s a relatively new cream to the market). However I have to say it’s been brilliant! We’ve only been using it for 3 weeks (morning and night) and his skin is so different, it’s lovely and smooth and even his sac is a lot better. I would definitely recommend giving it a try, particularly as you can just buy it and try, rather than going through a gp. It’s in the medicated dry skin section of boots. I hope your situation is resolved soon for the good of your step kids, it does sound as though they need to try a different way of dealing with eczema. x

icedgem85 · 18/04/2019 22:11

Just to add - every kid with eczema is different too. I bathe mine every day and lather him with epaderm. I have friends who bathe once a week and use almond oil and some have luck with child’s farm. Both would put my kid on steroid cream and a trip to the doctors. What works for one does not necessarily work for the other. However agree the dad should be involved in the care and find out if kids have had full allergy testing and get it arranged if not.

Teacher22 · 18/04/2019 22:35

My DS had horrible eczema when he was young and I used Oilatum in the bath which was very good.

VampirateQueen · 18/04/2019 22:55

Not RTFT but bathing a child with eczema everyday will make it worse. My DD had eczema when little and we cut her down to a bath every other day and used all child's farm products and it cleared up within a week. Bathing everyday is dreadful for the skin, bathing twice a day will be damaging their skin and the eczema will never get better only worse.

OopsIdidittentimes · 18/04/2019 23:00

My son has bad eczema and we were always told no more than two baths a week, at the most as they are really drying.
I'd say something as they are actively making things worse by excessive bathing.

Frazzledstar1 · 18/04/2019 23:00

Bathing twice daily is really bad for eczema, when my ds was younger and suffering doctor advised every other day

Devilinatwinset · 18/04/2019 23:10

Tatiana what did you do to get rid of the fungus in your son's gut?

livinglavidavillanelle · 19/04/2019 00:05

Omg some of the comments on here! Is she on benefits? Would it be better for her to keep it problematic? Bloody hell.

As some pp have pointed out, there is research to suggest that daily baths followed by emollients can be helpful. Obviously it's a trial and error thing, but I wouldn't dismiss the theory.

livinglavidavillanelle · 19/04/2019 00:08

And can I just say, I think you've had a really rough ride on here OP, you are clearly concerned and doing your best in a difficult situation.

Courts1988 · 19/04/2019 00:27

The more baths they have the drier the skin will get. That’s why it’s not improving.

bert3400 · 19/04/2019 00:29

Child's Farm ...has cleared up so many cases of eczema...I, my friends & family swear by it. Tesco sell it . It's amazing for eczema

BingandFlop2019 · 19/04/2019 02:59

@bert3400 Have you not read the full thread? Op has mentioned the use of Child's a Farm numerous times

BingandFlop2019 · 19/04/2019 03:03

@lickencivers Personally, after everything you've said and the fact that your DP just isn't interested in taking responsibility for his kids and getting his kids back to the Detmatologist; along with the fact that despite knowing his kids are suffering he is STILL bathing them over & over I honestly think I'd be speaking to Social Services. What you've described is neglect. A crack you fit a pound coin in? Seriously? Neglect. Sorry

BingandFlop2019 · 19/04/2019 03:06

I realise some have said frequent baths is current advice - fair enough but it's not working! Whatever the current advice is, what they are doing is NOT working. The kids are suffering and from what has been said they are clearly suffering mentally as well! The parents aren't doing anything about it. Where does it end? If it gets any worse then the school are going to notice and begin to show real concern....

WatchingTheWheels85 · 19/04/2019 03:10

My first child was wet wrapped for 4 years and I was advised to bath him once a week.

llewellyn25 · 19/04/2019 04:13

I have eczema and two baths a day when it was at its worst when I was little would have made it a lot worse.

sunshinemode · 19/04/2019 07:16

This is tantamount to abuse. They are making the child medical condition worse and thereby causing harm to the child. If this continues they could find themselves party to an investigation if health professionals realise they are not following medical advice. Their notions about cleanliness is actually hurting the child.

JKumbara · 19/04/2019 08:35

Childs Farm babies moisturiser. You can search for it online and find reviews etc. Cheapest in boots at the moment. I suffer from horrific eczema on my hands too and it's the only thing that helps, and it is an absolute miracle. Maybe bite your tongue, but also get some for the poor lamb. Good luck!

gorbashthecat · 19/04/2019 08:35

Also whether or not the frequency of baths is in line with current guidance is irrelevant. The only thing that is important with the bathing here is that the emollient is used after and OP says that this isn't happening.

Therefore they're not complying with the treatment plan regardless of whether it came from a GP or a dermatologist.

JKumbara · 19/04/2019 08:36

Just read the thread. Ignore me!

TatianaLarina · 19/04/2019 09:55

Tatiana what did you do to get rid of the fungus in your son's gut?

He was prescribed some kind of fungicide.

He turned out to be particularly sensitive to mould and fungus which can also trigger his asthma.

But other children may have different sensitivities.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 19/04/2019 10:05

I only bath DS once a week and give him a couple of showers. He has pretty clear skin now but he had very itchy eczema as a baby, he wouldn’t stay still! Cutting down washing, Aveeno after baths and stopping using fabric conditioner helped massively. There is a doctor who has said never to use soap on skin, and always moisturise after baths. Don’t bite your tongue on this, eczema feels bloody awful. I had terrible eczema and lots of baths as a child Sad