To despise of my husbands cat and wish it wouldn’t come back home

[Luc187]

I HATE my husbands cat. He purchased the cat just as we got together 10 years ago, in a house he owned by himself so I didn’t have a say. I hated her from then.

Fast forward we now live in a joint house that I love to bits and I find it DISGUSTING the cat has weed twice in the last week. In the past she’s pissed in my handbag, on our spare bed, on my jeans. I come downstairs for breakfast and smell CAT. PISS. She keeps bringing beheaded mice that bloodstain our rug. It’s vile. I never signed up for this, I didn’t spend all this money on a house to be subjected to this.

We plan on having children, I cannot tolerate this disgust around a child. It’s vile, she always projectile vomits too in the utility room.

I’ve had enough, is it reasonable to want her sent to a cats home or something?

if you were subjected to living with a pet rat or snake or spider or some other kind of animal that you felt uncomfortable around how would you feel

Me? I would feel very, very foolish to have chosen to live with a man who owned an animal I would hate living with. So, so foolish.

You CHOSE to live with a man who had a cat, you weren’t subjected to living with a cat.

I actually do @Sparkling he wants a dog and chickens, I do not.

I hate pets, he’d have to move out if he wanted one.

A cat that is peeing in the house is either unwell, very old or distressed in some way. You need to address this
As for the headless fluffy things,
They are GIFTS!
Try not to be so ungrateful!

YABVU i am going to say i honestly think you are the cause of the cat's behaviour .I have three cats which are happy and don't wee everywhere because they are not stressed which i imagine that poor cat is .Incidentally i have a snake too 🤣 a Royal Python , i get people don't always like snakes but if they are in a vivarium how are they making a person uncomfortable , just don't go near the viv then .
No one is on their high horse i speak as i find and your attitude to that poor animal is horrible .You knew that your husband had the cat in the beginning yet you are wishing ill to her .We live rurally and my cat's have brought in bird's a huge rat once and even my DC's don't throw a hissy they pick it up they see it first ,dispose of it , creature not cat ..
Finally i think possibly the cat should be seeing a vet , urinating in places it shouldn't and being sick could be the sign of an infection or something else going on .Even though you oviously hate it you should still get it checked out .

In a perverse way, I hope the cat leaves a rabbit's head in your bed.

Ribbonsonabox what a load of made up psychobabble that is downright offensive when applied to people with special needs that find animals soothing and calming.

You're charming.

Take the animal to the vet to see if there's a medical/treatable reason for its vomiting and peeing - one of you should have done this already. Why haven't you?? It sounds stressed (I wonder why) and/or unwell.

It also could be peeing on your stuff because it senses you're a threat (I wonder why).

Cats are predators and they hunt (probably the only time this one feels happy); the dead creatures it brings home are actually 'gifts'. So unfortunately, if you're a big cry baby, this might not be very pleasant. But it's following its natural instincts.

If, like a well adjusted human, you commit some time and care to this animal, you might end up with a healthy, happy, unobtrusive pet. If not, you're not only angry but cruel and neglectful, and the cat would be much better off being re-homed.

I think you need to take the cat to the vet, it sounds ill

It's unusual for a cat to behave in that way. My guess she knows she's pulled the short straw in having to live with you. You sound pretty vile tbh. If i was your partner I'd run a fucking mile..

I really sympathise.
I have 3 cats at the moment, and teenage children.
One of the cats - now 16 years- used to pee everywhere and spray up curtains.
I used to get really fed up of coming home to the smell of cat pee and having to clean up, take down and wash curtains regularly, all while juggling little ones and a full time job.She was a nervous cat and suffered recurrent cystitis as well.
The only reason she is still here is that the last time I got fed up with her it was too close to xmas to take her to the vets.
The following year we got a third cat, a Male, who i think makes her feel protected. The cystitis and spraying up everything stopped almost immediately.
7 years on and no recurrence of any problem and I love her to bits.
I know how you feel though.

YABVU

I've had cats all my life and this is very unusual behaviour for a cat - they are naturally clean animals, MUCH easier to house train than dogs, and if a cat is peeing inside the house something is wrong: either a medical problem or the cat is very stressed. The vomiting will be for a medical problem.

You sound very intolerant.

God, pet owners (particularly British ones) are spectacularly weird about anthropomorphising animals into adored 'fur babies'.

OP, I feel for you. I love animals to the point where I am vegetarian but, despite growing up around them, have never felt the need to keep one in the house. One of the most disgusting weekends I have ever spent was staying in a house in Cardiff where every surface seemed to be covered in cat hair, including the food preparation ones. Discovering cat hair in the cereal you are attempting to feed your baby is a real low point.

It cracks me up that Mn has so many people who are incredibly prissy about some things the disgust expressed on a recent thread where someone had kept her baby's umblical stump was surreal but are happy to have animals sleep on their beds.

I have a child, and it's not remotely similar. You do not need to embrace the hygiene issues surrounding animals to be able to change nappies or clear up baby sick. Not turning into a puddle of goo at discovering a cat curled up on your pillow licking its ass does not mean you are a horrific, loveless ice queen who will die alone.

The cat loons are here in style, I see.

How loony to think that when a person takes on a pet they have a responsibility to care for it, not abandon it or put it in a cage.

It isn't a human. It's only a cat. If you think cats matter as much as humans you are ill and need help.

WTF? When did anyone suggest a cat was a human? Obviously the life of a human is valued higher than the life of a cat, but that doesn't mean the cat is worthless and should be cast aside on the whim of a human.

I think you're the one in need of help with your lack of empathy to be honest.

I doubt the OP's DH would be too impressed if he read this thread.

YANBU

Luc187
When did he last take the cat to the vet? A cat that hunts outside needs treating for fleas and worming regularly - more than once a year. She will probably have tapeworms and could have a hairball or some other problem.

Not a lot to add here except that the OP cracked me up...

On a very practical point about cat wee - yes it does smell different from baby wee - Pets at Home do a great antibacterial spray (odour and stain removal) www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/antibacterial-stain-and-odour-remover-with-byotrol. We got it originally for our cats but have also used it when DD was little and projectile vomited/wee'd on the carpet and sofa

Hopefully the vet will find out if something is wrong with your DH's cat. If not, DH needs to be cleaning out the litter morning and evening as cat's do like clean litter - they are sensitive souls.

On a side note, our DCat hasn't brought any presents into the house after I stood at the cat flap and basically told him he couldn't bring in a mouse. (I think he was offended I didn't like the present...)

Very odd to call people 'cat loons', almost as odd as suggesting putting cats in a cage.

There are products available from the supermarket that remove pet odours - Zoflora and Flash both do one.

You chose to be with somebody who wanted and got a cat. Your choice, not the cat's. You chose to buy a house with somebody who had a cat. Your choice.

If you want to have children, I suggest you either wait it out until the cat expires of natural causes or look for somebody who doesn't have a cat, because telling your DH that you hate the cat and want it gone won't go down very well with the vast majority of pet owners.

I'm not familiar with having rodents. But DP is and when he had a hamster, that was his decision and I was fine with it. He lives here too, after all. I'd possibly draw the line at giant cockroaches, but only if he said he wanted to get some now - had he had such vile things when we were living in our own homes, it wouldn't have been anything to do with me and if I had I been wanting to move in with him, it would have been fine, as they were there first.

People who like pets don't just get one once. The chances are that he will want another cat when this one dies. And/or a dog, plus pets for any children. If you aren't a pet person, that's a recipe for an unhappy life and you need to think carefully if you can do it - as he would need to think whether a woman who wants to get rid of his loved pet (whether openly or on the quiet) is the sort of woman he wants to be the mother to his children.

OP I sympathise, that sounds really unhygienic and unpleasant. Some people are pretty nuts about their pets, but what you’ve described is not an environment I would want to live in, and I certainly wouldn’t want my children subjected to that.
YANBU to want to live in a clean home. Your DH should definitely be the one cleaning up the mess, does he not care about the piss, vomit and blood??

Cats are usually very clean creatures and all that you have described points to one or more problems.

First thing is a check up at the vets immediately to rule out infection. Get her speyed if she hasn't been already. Her pee shouldn't be so strong it lingers after cleaning. Not if she's drinking enough and is otherwise in good health.
Also address why she is sick so often (is it the food?)

Then grab a load of litter trays and dot them around where she likes to pee. You should have two regularly cleaned litter trays at least for one cat. It took us 8 to stop our cat from weeing and pooping in random places and we found out it was her way of telling us that she didn't want to share them with our other cat. She's a lot more settled now and we have 3 litter trays that we keep on top of. All good sizes for their big bums and all with litter that is good quality and doesn't smell and is soft and comfortable for the cats. If the cats don't like the litter, they won't use the tray.
We also use hooded litter trays to help minimise the litter scatter and smells.
We also feed a very good diet to help.

I use an enzymatic cleaner called Nature's Miracle which really does work wonders on cat pee (don't know if they sell it in the UK) and completely removes the smell. Please take the cat to the vet - it's either mentally or physically troubled.

You remind me of a charming ex-colleague who once came into work announcing she was having her cat put down that evening because he weed everywhere. I drove an hour out of my way that night to rescue the cat. Guess what? Once happily rehomed he then stopped weeing everywhere.

Assuming this isn’t a fake post, your cats behaviour isn’t normal and is quite concerning. A vet trip would help. But rehoming the cat with someone who doesn’t vehemently hate it might also help

In all the years I've owned/lived with cats I've never had a cat piss or attempt to piss in my/anyone else's handbag.