To despise of my husbands cat and wish it wouldn’t come back home

[Luc187]

I HATE my husbands cat. He purchased the cat just as we got together 10 years ago, in a house he owned by himself so I didn’t have a say. I hated her from then.

Fast forward we now live in a joint house that I love to bits and I find it DISGUSTING the cat has weed twice in the last week. In the past she’s pissed in my handbag, on our spare bed, on my jeans. I come downstairs for breakfast and smell CAT. PISS. She keeps bringing beheaded mice that bloodstain our rug. It’s vile. I never signed up for this, I didn’t spend all this money on a house to be subjected to this.

We plan on having children, I cannot tolerate this disgust around a child. It’s vile, she always projectile vomits too in the utility room.

I’ve had enough, is it reasonable to want her sent to a cats home or something?

damntheman it works perfectly for us. We keep doors closed - they have 3 doors to get through to enter the living room. If in the off chance the doors are open my partner will do a run and dash and grab them before they get as far as the living room.
My father is allergic to cats and is here about 2 times per week and isn’t effected at all because we don’t let them in the rooms he is in. Anyone who is in our house often knows that they aren’t allowed there and will keep doors closed.

We brought cushions from our hold house which sit in the utility room with them,old dressing gown of partners went there recently - apparently smells keep them calm there was also so sort of calming spray used don’t know what it’s called.

It's said that you can tell someone by how they treat others, but how they behave towards animals is also usually pretty telling too.

I’m perfectly lovely to animals. I just don’t want them living with me in my house!

Thanks @justtheretosee ! That's really interesting. I think I'll have another go at making my guest-room cat free :)

@Babayaggatheboneylegged actually I agree with that statement. I think when someone over romanticises and anthropomorphesizes animals to a great extent it can be an indicator they treat humans like shit because they distrust them all. They place animals on this pedestal of being permanent innocent childlike beings, and actually it's an indicator they give less of a shit about other humans and can be very judgemental. They are more interested in the gains they get from something they perceive as totally innocent which is totally dependant on them than they are in navigating and helping with the complex and often difficult world of adult human behaviour.
That's just my experience of it. Imo absolute adoration of domesticated animals makes it more likely someone is a shit to people than less.

OMG!
my hsband had two cats, twins, and they fucken hated me with a passion, and i dont know why cause i loved cats, ( im also allergic to cats so it was quite an effort to be around them)
they used to piss on anything i left on the floor, if i dropped an item of clothing on the floor 1000 to 1 it would be pissed on, the husband would say they didnt mean it, ill wash it
they backed up to my full length cashmere coat my nana gave me, and it was hanging on the coat rack, you guess it they pissed on it, he never got it cleaned and i never wore it again
i was sitting outside on a chair and one started rubbing on my leg, i bent down to give it a pat and.... YES... it pissed on ME!!!!!!!!!
i put up with it for years, and in the end i have to say i rather hated those little furballs
i really dont know why they hated me so much, i gave them the best foods, cleaned their litter trays ( which made me heave ) and even though my eyes would swell and water and itch non stop i would pat them and talk to them.... fuckers!
we have budgies now... they love him too

Actually I think your dp should keep the cat and get rid of you, pets are for life

Oh and the cat knows you hate it, hence pissing on your stuff

@Damntheman the RSPB has stated that there is no scientific evidence that cats are responsible for the decline in bird population. There IS evidence that cats tend to take the most sickly or weak that wouldn't survive anyway. The species that have undergone the worst declines recently; skylarks, tree sparrows, corn buntings, rarely encounter cats. Research shows that population declines are caused by habitat loss, not cats. I mean.. feel free to dislike cats for other reasons, that's fine. But bird population declines are not their fault

They bloody well are in our neighbourhood! Our robins' three chicks fledged a few weeks ago and two were killed in the first 24 hours and the last one the day after that. They've got chicks again now and it'll be a miracle if any of them survive the first week out of the nest. It's heartbreaking.

My neighbours' cats are constantly hunting and killing any wildlife they can get near - wildlife which we go to considerable lengths to encourage in our garden. I loathe the fucking things.

It would be nice to think that cats would wee on the posessions of people they don't like but that is projecting human thinking onto them. It doesn't work like that.

if you were subjected to living with a pet rat or snake or spider

Umm... Rats are lovely

I think the cat and DH should kick You out

I’m not an animal fan either op and could t deal with a cat destroying my property and vomiting and pissing . Funnily enough I love kids though and have 4 small ones and manage to deal with their mess , so the the posters that imply that you wouldn’t cope with kids because you don’t like cats are talking rubbish .

All these people with cats pissing in their houses need to learn about animals. You need to house train cats to use litter tray, or use cat flap to go outside. And vomiting and weeing inside is a sign of illness. You need to look after your pet and take it to the vets.

How sad for these animals.

Cats and children aren't the same. Children are an instinctual need that most women want at some point. It's about continuation of the species. When these children are born there are feelings of unconditional love.

Very different from a cat. I'm not a cat person YABU. Cats can be awful, tbh if my child peed on my things they wouldn't still be doing it for 10 years as they would be taught different. With cats clearly that isn't always possible as their under sta ding doesn't cah ge and they aren't on the same intellectual level as us. Some of these comments on this post are unbelievable, plenty of people aren't animal lovers.

What is wrong with all your lives that you have to jump on people on posts like this and just be damn right mean.

And anyone who says they love their cat on exactly the same level as their human child needs intervention.

“t would be nice to think that cats would wee on the posessions of people they don't like but that is projecting human thinking onto them. It doesn't work like that.”

Absolutely. This applies to practically everything people say about animals. We anthropomorphise them to fulfil our own needs when we project emotions on to them. Which is why we are often thoughtlessly cruel in the way we treat animals.

Except my father’s Siamese. He was a bastard and did carefully targeted pees. There are many living witnesses to this behaviour!

I don’t mind cats but pissing on things and vomiting would annoy me. Speak to your partner about giving it away or putting her down. They only live till about 16 anyway, but it sounds like things are getting worse.

Take to a vet and talk about your options.

I'm finding this thread interesting as I'm in a similar situation but I'm the one with the cat. DH isn't over keen but the cat was here before him. I help him out by doing everything for the cat, he is my responsibility. If DH gave me an ultimatum I'd chose him but by issuing the ultimatum in the first place he'd do real damage to our relationship I think.

My sociable and previously clean cat used to wee on my future husbands case when he used to stay for the weekend. I knew my now exH didn’t like cats but didn’t think it was a problem -that was until I caught my him karate kicking my beloved cat because apparently he was stressed with work and the cat was “annoying him”. I was upset and furious and realised the cat had picked up on his hostility hence the puddles on the suitcase.

I wish I’d known the cat was trying to let me know not to let this man into our lives. Years later I found out the true extent of his lying, cheating, narscistic personality. Sometimes cats just know best

"Except my father’s Siamese. He was a bastard and did carefully targeted pees. There are many living witnesses to this behaviour!"

hahahaha. Just snorted my cuppa out of my nose when I read this. My Nan had a Siamese much the same.

The only answer to this is rehoming.............
of you.

You sound delightful op, leave your partner and the cat and move into a nice, sterile flat on your own

I actually feel for you a little. I adore my husband. He had dogs when we met and I do love them but I do not love being a dog owner and won't have any more dogs when we lose these (they are quite old now but very healthy). I have to share the care for them as we are married and these pets live in our home. But I do get frustrated at times!

I don’t mind cats but pissing on things and vomiting would annoy me. Speak to your partner about giving it away or putting her down. They only live till about 16 anyway, but it sounds like things are getting worse.

My God. If a partner ever asked me to give away or put down my cat, he'd be out the door so fast his head would spin. I hope you never have pets.

Pets are a responsibility, you don't just dispose of them when you can't be bothered with them anymore. Lots of posters have made very sensible suggestions for how the weeing issue can be tackled, and yet still we get stupid nasty posts like this.

Also to PPs, being an animal lover and wanting to see them treated right does not equate to hating humans FFS. I'm a compassionate person to both humans and animals, I hate to see people in pain and I hate seeing animals in pain. It's not an either/or.

Are you using the proper cleaning products for the pee? The pet shop should sell them. How many litter trays do you have? Have you tried changing them? My cat will refuse to use a covered box and prefers a large box. She's not a fan of clumping litter either, doesn't mind the non-clumping but much prefers the wood based litter.

Your DH obviously had the cat before you married him. Were you willing to give the cat a chance or did you just assume you could persuade him to get rid of the cat eventually?