To despise of my husbands cat and wish it wouldn’t come back home

[Luc187]

I HATE my husbands cat. He purchased the cat just as we got together 10 years ago, in a house he owned by himself so I didn’t have a say. I hated her from then.

Fast forward we now live in a joint house that I love to bits and I find it DISGUSTING the cat has weed twice in the last week. In the past she’s pissed in my handbag, on our spare bed, on my jeans. I come downstairs for breakfast and smell CAT. PISS. She keeps bringing beheaded mice that bloodstain our rug. It’s vile. I never signed up for this, I didn’t spend all this money on a house to be subjected to this.

We plan on having children, I cannot tolerate this disgust around a child. It’s vile, she always projectile vomits too in the utility room.

I’ve had enough, is it reasonable to want her sent to a cats home or something?

So are you/DP going to get the cat checked out at the vets? That would be a start.

Both children and animals are messy TBF.

So in other words if you don’t like animals somehow that means you won’t don’t children automatically?!

No. However your Op is all about how you don't like the mess the cat is making in your house. You stated you would like children, and they will make similar types of mess and a lot more frequently than a cat would. Hence the comparisons to children.

I'm not a cat person, but I've lived with flatmates with them and I know they pick up on hostility so that'll likely be why it pisses on your jeans, etc... A vet will rule out any possible health causes though, so your DH should take him/her. It sounds like your DH needs to take responsibility for his animal more.

Having just gone through a week of Norovirus with my kids, I wonder how you're going to cope with young children though. I have kids and dogs and the kids are so much worse in terms of mess and bodily fluids!

Yes, some people just can't deal with mess so both animals and children could be problematic.

Yes we will be going to the vets, and also cat wee still not the same as humans IMO smell lingers for months with cat wee very distinct smell. Yes I take your point both are messy but being a mother and cat owner just not the same thing. Cats do nothing, no enjoyment from them. Don’t speak, Don’t do any of the endearing things kids do. Just not the Same thing sorry!

Cats are very endearing and you get shedloads of enjoyment from them! Sorry!

Do you have a litter tray in the house? Is it cleaned every day?

You may think cats bring no enjoyment but many people, including your DH, disagree. So you're going to have to find a way to live with her. As PP suggested, showing her a bit of kindness would be a start.

OP is getting a lot of criticism but why hasn't her do, the cats actual owner taken it to the vet and done something about it pissing everywhere?
Sounds like he CBA to sort out his own animal, which is making it the OP's problem.
Maybe the cat would be better off elsewhere. My sister took on an old, unsociable cat from a shelter, which had been abandoned when it's previous owner died. Cat is now the loveliest, most affectionate little darling. So there are people out there who will take it on and it might end up happier. Clearly the dp isn't doing much to endure the cat is happy.

I'm a cat person, but I do feel for you Luc. It's very frustrating to find dead rodents everywhere.

My advice : The cat sounds stressed, cats don't usually pee outside of their litter tray unless something is wrong. Feliway and a vet trip should do the trick. Are you sure she's vomiting and not just chucking up a hairball?

Try to organise things so that you don't need to leave bags on the floor. If you need to then I find a layer of tin foil will encourage the cat to keep off of it.

bell on the collar will decrease her hunting efficiency, alternatively don't let her roam at night - night time is when cats hunt most often.

I do hope your DH is the one cleaning up after his cat. And I hope that once she calms down you can manage a more relaxed coexistance with the cat. Good luck!

My husband has 2 cats that I despise, they piss in the house, and shit in the garden like dogs. They don't bury it. I absolutely cant stand them, you have my sympathy. My children cant play on the grass in their own garden!

Glad you’re taking her to the vet OP. And I absolutely agree with you about the smell of cat pee. Have you tried that pet smell spray stuff? It’s quite effective at neutralising the pee stench.

Also, have you tried playing with her using a good cat toy? There’s a thing called Da Bird that you can get on Amazon for about ten quid. Cats love them and if you play with her for a few minutes every day she might be less stressed and less inclined to piss on your jeans. Good luck.

Oh and I hate the cats and mess they make, but I adore my children, it's really not comparable

Of course your kids can play sleepthief. Teach them to flick the poo aside with sticks, my 2.5 year old is very adept at it! (although the poo in my garden is badger poo).

I'd suggest - like many previous posters:
Vets,
Sprays that get rid of the smell - and discourage the cat from weeing in the same place (they're are a few on amazon)
Look at hooded litter trays - some have filters.
Bell on collar.
Feliway plug in

Perhaps look up Jackson Galaxy from My cat from hell - see if he has tips you could use.
Otherwise is decent shelter in the garden an option?

TBH though you need to talk to your DH – get on the same page with the cat and while I don’t think cat ownership and parenthood are good comparisons – if you can’t get one the same page with the cat I do wonder how parenting conflicts that arise will be dealt with.

It’s a cat not a baby, of course it can be got rid of it’s making your life a misery.

First of all, it's not OP's cat to 'get rid' of, it's her husband's. I doubt he would share this view.

And how do you propose 'getting rid' of a ten year old cat anyway? Killing it? Putting it in a shelter (if they have space) where she'll be miserable, has little chance of being rehomed at her age and will possibly die of the stress? Taking her away from her home and owner because the OP can't be bothered to make an effort and get to the root of the problem.

No wonder animal cruelty is so widespread with attitudes like this.

Btw a friend of mine had a dog when she was a child, they got him as a puppy when my friend was 9. He was a big dog who needed lots of walking and training. Her mother didn't like the dog (or was too lazy to look after it) and after almost a year in the house she sent him to the pound. My friend has never forgiven her mother, and has a lot of distrust towards her even today. That kind of disregard for animals, who have learned to trust us as their caregivers, shows a really cruel streak in a person.

Cats do nothing, no enjoyment from them. Don’t speak

Bless you.

Simple Solution Extreme Cat Stain and Odour Remover
Petzyme Pet Stain Remover & Odor Eliminator

You want these kind of sprays - so you the cat doesn't smell the previous wee and think oh right that's the place to go.

I hate dogs, my DP loves them. I wouldn't have got together with him if he had one, because I know I couldn't live with one. Luckily he loves cats too, because I already have two and they are here to stay

You're correct in saying that not everyone likes animals but showing respect towards fellow creatures is also important.The cat will pick up on your dislike and it's not going to be an easy experience for either of you if you continue to show your dislike towards it. Your husband made a life time commitment to this animal and you need to make a decision about how you deal with that.

People always say things like "why did you move in with him when you knew he had a cat?" and "I'd just never have moved in with him" which is a stupendously silly line of thinking. You would probably take that approach if you had a violent hatred of cats from the outset, but most people don't - you have to live with one to know what it's like. It's like saying "why did you even go on a second date with him if 5 years later, you're breaking up?"

The OP said she hated the cat from the start, so it's not remotely similar. It's more like having a five year relationship with someone you always hated.

I'd be pissed off too tbh but there's fuck all you can do about it. But bringing home headless rabbits is next level shit ,the cat is 10 though so in a couple of years in its old age it won't have the energy to catch stuff like that, but the pissing in the house will be worse though probably start shitting on your pillow too.

but the pissing in the house will be worse though probably start shitting on your pillow too.

Nonsense. I have an 18 year old cat who doesnt do any of these things. But she has a peaceful home, access to a clean litter tray and regular check ups at the vet.

I feel your pain OP I am in a similar situation to yourself,met my partner fast forward a few years and we bought a house, in the past I did consider finishing it because of the cats (yes there’s more than one) but I couldn’t leave my DP and also couldn’t let her give them up. So I’m stuck with them...

We try to compromise - she does all “caring” for them so litter box,dead animals etc. Obviously if I’m home first I will feed them but I’m not usually home first.

We also have areas that the cats are allowed and areas they aren’t - like not allowed upstairs or living room (as we got a lovely new suite). They have access to utility room,sunroom and an open window to the. Back garden,which leads to a field.They seem to sleep a lot during the day and then go out a few hours at night so thankfully when I’m home they are mainly out of sight.

I tolerate them but certainly don’t love them - most people I’m friends with don’t even know they exist.

Good luck hope you can come to an agreement

Out of sheer curiosity Justheretosee (and the potential to have a cat-free room for allergic guests), how do you keep the cats out of the living room and how successful are your methods?

I couldn’t cope with the cat peeing on my stuff either. But it is very unusual behaviour for a cat. What is your do doing about it?