To despise of my husbands cat and wish it wouldn’t come back home

[Luc187]

I HATE my husbands cat. He purchased the cat just as we got together 10 years ago, in a house he owned by himself so I didn’t have a say. I hated her from then.

Fast forward we now live in a joint house that I love to bits and I find it DISGUSTING the cat has weed twice in the last week. In the past she’s pissed in my handbag, on our spare bed, on my jeans. I come downstairs for breakfast and smell CAT. PISS. She keeps bringing beheaded mice that bloodstain our rug. It’s vile. I never signed up for this, I didn’t spend all this money on a house to be subjected to this.

We plan on having children, I cannot tolerate this disgust around a child. It’s vile, she always projectile vomits too in the utility room.

I’ve had enough, is it reasonable to want her sent to a cats home or something?

So in other words if you don’t like animals somehow that means you won’t don’t children automatically?! Ridiculous statement

No, it means the sheer vindictiveness and reactions you have written here does not bode well for children. Both are living creatures who need care and attention. Your posts do not show those characteristics.

It's said that you can tell someone by how they treat others, but how they behave towards animals is also usually pretty telling too.

Having animals and kids are the same. Kids make much more mess than a cat does, yes kids may talk but kids talk and they don't shut up, they are twice as loud as a cat and cats do do endearing things, when they snuggle you for example, my cat has many endearing qualities, he also shouts at me when he is hungry, the same as my kids do.
You haven't mentioned how old the cat is. Weeing everywhere and projectile vomiting is not normal, there could be something wrong with it.
When me and my DH got together I had a different cat to the one we have now, if he had turned around to me and said me or the cat, I would have shown him the door.

YANBU cats are vile. I'd smuggle it out to an animal shelter, and then you can pretend it's wandered off and not come back (as cats tend to do, because they have no loyalty to anyone).

But on the other hand... you knew he had the cat before you moved in together, so I suppose YABU to have fallen for a "cat person" in the first place!

I'd smuggle it out to an animal shelter, and then you can pretend it's wandered off and not come back

Presumably the cat is micro chipped. A quick scan, one phone call later and the cat is home again.

Some of the attitudes here are frightening. No wonder animal cruelty still exists if this is how people think.

On a practical note, our cat only ever peed in the house when something was wrong with him. Poor thing had struvite crystals in his urine and it was causing a blockage. But with the right medication, vet visits and food, the issue was resolved and he never did it again. Cats are very clean and fastidious but they are aware of people's attitude towards them and if they are stressed or scared, will act out. So maybe visit the vet to rule or deal with any underlying health issues, close the door to rooms that kitty should not be allowed in, put a bell on his collar to alert prey so he cannot hunt as efficiently and try to at least be kind when he is around. I think the combination of those things will alleviate, if not eliminate most of the problems.

YANBU cats are vile. I'd smuggle it out to an animal shelter, and then you can pretend it's wandered off and not come back (as cats tend to do, because they have no loyalty to anyone).

Nasty, disgusting post. You're the vile one, not the cat.

The DH has had this cat for 10 years and presumably loves it, does that count for nothing?

If you can't handle a cat you won't manage with kids. Please don't breed.

Incidentally, i’ve had cats for 40 years and only 3 tines have I had a cat pee where it shouldn’t. One was my father’s unneutered Siamese tom who did it very selectively and as revenge for real or imagined slights, one who had a kidney infection and one who was accidentally shut in a room for 4 days and really didn’t have an option. So it’s not normal behaviour and needs to be looked at.

“If you can't handle a cat you won't manage with kids. Please don't breed”

Rubbish.

Some of the attitudes here are frightening

I agree though I'm not surprised.

Our cats are indoor – with outdoor catio mainly due to roads but also cats locally are going missing and previous areas cats were being poisoned and another location shot with air pellets and elastic bands put on them.

In previous house we had other people's cat using our garden as a loo - with young kids it was very annoying - as despite what some posters insist on here not all cats cover- as was paying for deterrents but it was never the cats fault.

Find out if there's a medical reason why it pisses everywhere. If there isn't keep it in a cage big cage or outside.

Cat piss is disgusting.

Wow people on mumsnet love cats don’t they!

I’m not a fan of cats personally, I will pretend to like them to owners of cats but the damage they do to our bird population makes me want to cry. They seem to be the only “pet” that an owner doesn’t have to take full responsibility for ie letting them out the house unattended.

If I have to stroke one or let one rub against me, I strip my clothes off in the garden when I get back as the hair sticks to everything.

I have instead a very messy dog! Ime dogs are a lot more “vile” (except killing of widelife in majority of cases), but because I love dogs I can tolerate the bad times.

But you need to find a way to co exist. You don’t need to love it but your allowed to hate it secretly as long as there is no actual harm coming to the cat.

Auntie you can't keep a cat in a cage!

@Somuchroom the RSPB has stated that there is no scientific evidence that cats are responsible for the decline in bird population. There IS evidence that cats tend to take the most sickly or weak that wouldn't survive anyway. The species that have undergone the worst declines recently; skylarks, tree sparrows, corn buntings, rarely encounter cats. Research shows that population declines are caused by habitat loss, not cats.

I mean.. feel free to dislike cats for other reasons, that's fine. But bird population declines are not their fault :)

I love cats. But I would not have a problem with someone deciding to have a cat put down if there really was no way of stopping it peeing in the house. But there usually is a way to stop it. Or the cat has other problems which have diminished it’s quality of life.

some people need to come off their high horses and accept that some people just don’t like animals and yes perhaps I’m one of them.

If you don't like cats, then probably shouldn't have moved in with a man with a cat.

The cat knows you hate her and does this on purpose i.e. pisses in your handbag. They are not stupid.

She doesn't like you that's why she is pissing you off she thinks your a crap hunter that's why your getting the "gifts "

Auntie you can't keep a cat in a cage!

It's that or put to sleep.

BertrandRussell- What a horrible thing to say you have no problem having a cat put down if there was no other way stoping it peeing. So this comes to mind we all going to get old and no one knows how we will be in our old age if we were having accidents, peeing in our clothes or the bed or anywhere in the home how would you like to be treated am sure care and compassion comes into caring for another living creature.

I knew you’d get your arse handed to you on a plate but the cat does sound gross. Unfortunately you’re stuck with it, you knew the deal when your partner got it. It’s a long term commitment. Hopefully it might only live another few years.

Being put down is by no means the worst thing that can happen to an animal. For a naturally clean animal like a cat not being able to keep itself clean indicates a seriously diminished quality of life. Keeping an animal alive is often the cruellest choice

It's that or put to sleep.

Not to any decent human being with more than half a brain cell.

The cat needs to see the vet, the OP's DH needs to make sure she has a clean litter tray, etc, and the OP needs to chill out a wee bit and stop being so hostile to the cat. Honestly these issues can be resolved with a little bit of effort.

All the people who are saying ‘don’t have kids if you hate your cat’ are, excuse the mixed metaphor, BARKING.

Newsflash people: kids and cats are quite different animals!

Yes, kids are disgusting and emit many unwelcome fluids, but they are, you know, your OFFSPRING. And they do, eventually, learn to clean up their own wee and shit.

I went to a friends house recently. She has two small children and a cat. It had just shat in its litter tray, and the house stank of it. That’s not something I would want in my life. I didn’t exactly love changing my kids’ nappies, but because I love them like no other, I could cope with it. I just don’t think I’d have the capacity to feel that way about a kitty. So I’d never get one.

In your shoes, OP, I’d take the cat to the vet to see if there’s an underlying cause of the weeing and vomming, and maybe speak to your husband about helping out more with the cat clean-up.

I dont like domestic animals either. Some people are just not pet people. The issue is that your partner obviously is and maybe loves his cat...
This is really something you should have discussed before moving in together!

And I have two kids who I love and parent just fine despite disliking pets. Pets are in no way the same as children.