To despise of my husbands cat and wish it wouldn’t come back home

[Luc187]

I HATE my husbands cat. He purchased the cat just as we got together 10 years ago, in a house he owned by himself so I didn’t have a say. I hated her from then.

Fast forward we now live in a joint house that I love to bits and I find it DISGUSTING the cat has weed twice in the last week. In the past she’s pissed in my handbag, on our spare bed, on my jeans. I come downstairs for breakfast and smell CAT. PISS. She keeps bringing beheaded mice that bloodstain our rug. It’s vile. I never signed up for this, I didn’t spend all this money on a house to be subjected to this.

We plan on having children, I cannot tolerate this disgust around a child. It’s vile, she always projectile vomits too in the utility room.

I’ve had enough, is it reasonable to want her sent to a cats home or something?

I assume there is a litter tray in the house and you're not just relying on her going outside?

YANBU that’s vile and I wouldn’t tolerate a cat pissing all over my house.
I’m not a pet person though and I’d end up poisoning the bugger 😷

You sound horrible. Really vicious. Any decent human - animal lover or not - would have had that cat at down the vet long ago trying to find out why it was unwell, and doing their utmost to relieve its suffering.

Not this. You seem to almost be revelling in its misery. You need to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

(A lot of the reactions sound like stress reactions too - are you treating it as nastily as you speak about it?)

I feel sorry for the cat having to live with someone who so obviously hates it.

Good luck in your perfect home when do you have children with the mess!

I have neutered brother and sister cats. Imo, the smell of a Tom’s urine is unbearable in a house; and that is why I have male cats neutered. Otherwise, if you keep the litter tray clean, there should be no smell of urine. The only time ours actually smells is if we have gone away, and grown up DC have been lax in cleaning up!

You should take the cat to the vets - it might have an infection.

Likewise cats are clean animals and do not urinate everywhere unless they are ill or have dementia or are stressed! I’d say the cat knows you don’t like her and is stressed!!

My cats only vomit if something has disagreed with them - rare!

I got our two cats, and the deal is I look after them; but DH knew I liked cats and if he could not live with cats, he should have married someone else!

As for children - way harder than kittens to house train, takes years rather than weeks! A cat’s vomit is a few tablespoons - DD1 has covered me or the car in projectile vomit

The cat knows you hate her for no valid reason. Good on it for pissing on your things.

THIS ^

Poor animal - she has no control over where she lives and she's stuck with you!

It sounds as though your DH got the cat just before you came on the scene, so actually you moved into her home (and she certainly didn't sign up for this!).

You sound an intolerant and unkind of *.

If you are nice to her, she will stop being so incontinent in the house - it is STRESS that makes her like this! And you are causing the stress.

You weren’t subjected to it, he had the cat when you moved in together and you chose to go ahead.
A cat peeing everywhere, especially suddenly, isn’t normal and it’s probably unwell with kidney problems and needs treatment.
At the end of the day, I know my husband would chose me over a cat if I demanded it. But I’m sure he wouldn’t like me very much for making him get rid of a pet he had had for 10 years and was therefore presumably attached to.

Cats don't piss all over the house Babynut1 unless they haven't been provided with a clean litter tray, or are sick.

What a disgusting comment about poisoning a much loved pet. I'm hoping that's a bad joke, because otherwise there's something very wrong with you.

YABU to want to send her to a cat home where she would be very unlikely to be adopted and would be miserable.

That said, your current situation sounds pretty awful. What steps are you taking to improve it? I mean things like:

• has a vet ruled out health issues?
• does she have a good sized and easily accessible litter tray?
• is her litter tray kept clean?
• does she have her own place to sleep which is quiet and out of the way of bustle?
• does she have enough to entertain her? If she can’t get outside, does she have toys? Is she played with?

Cats are by nature clean animals who usually prefer a litter box. Peeing elsewhere is usually a sign of stress or illness. It can be a habit though once they have started to go somewhere other than a box. You need to clean the areas where she has peed with an enzyme cleaner.

You shacked up with someone who had a pet you detest thinking you can just get rid of it??

And the rabbits etc - she is bringing you presents - she is trying to be NICE TO YOU!

Can't you at least try to be pleasant back?

There's always one who likes to think they would kill the cat.

So dealing with this is a very difficult thing for me, for example if you were subjected to living with a pet rat or snake or spider or some other kind of animal that you felt uncomfortable around how would you feel.

Erm, then you don't continue going out with the person, much less move in with them and spend 10 years on it thinking they're going to change.

You are aware children pee and vomit on the furniture too? Should be should send them away!? You cat sounds stressed if it's peeing everywhere, does it have a clean private cat litter. Have you taken it to a vet to rule out medical problems and seek advice. Cats are for life, we can't just get rid of them. Though I do feel sorry for the poor thing. My cats regularly vomit on the carpet, well not too often but it's mainly from grooming and hair lodged. Just keep a bottle of carpet cleaning in the house

I’m not a pet person though and I’d end up poisoning the bugger

What a delightful person you are, too Babynut

Why haven’t you taken it to the vets?.

I suggest a cat flap to garden in utility room door. If you get one that you can adjust to 'out' or 'in' or both you could fix it so the cat stays outside in garden all day/if weather fine etc. Shut the utility room door so cat is confined to that room - it will probably choose to go out, and any mess will be confined to one room.

I'm not getting the comparison to your own offspring and having a cat?! I've got 4 children and I'd have 4 more over having a cat or dog.

Just because someone is prepared to clean up after their own children it doesn't mean they're happy to clean up cat piss, shit, vomit and dead animals. For me, wiping a few shitty baby arses is much more preferable to picking cat shit up and cleaning the stinking cat piss out of my furniture. I can honestly say none of my children have pissed in my handbag or on a rug. And out of the 4 of them I've only had 3/4 wet beds.

However, I do think it's unreasonable to get rid of the cat who has been around for 10 years. I'd either have never moved in together or just been prepared to put up with it to be honest.

I'm a cat person but I agree absolutely with you. What you are contending with would be hard if it was a cat you adored, so it's doubly hard for you. She needs to be checked for urinary infections first. I don't have advice about the gifts she brings you. Sorry.

Oh OP Either you've never been on a MN cat thread before, or you were REALLY in need of a rant and fully hard-hatted!

I must say you sound like me right after I moved in with DH. I knew he had cats, obviously, and I am pretty indifferent to cats, but I didn't realise how much the presence of a litter tray (especially a poorly-maintained one) would grind me down. Like other posters have said, I've been very firm that His Cats are His Problem so all vomit, shit, etc. is cleaned up by him, but it's been a constant source of tension between us. (For the most part, aimed at him being an irresponsible child when it comes to cleaning up after them, rather than at the cats.) Luckily ours are useless hunters so no corpses, but I would really hate that too.

I'm quite surprised you still feel this way after 10 years though - I've come around to the fluffy housemates (and they to me) but it took lots of training, both of them and of DH. Is there anything he could do better or more proactively so you and the cat could just peacefully coexist?

(P.S. If you're anything like me, then part of your source of rage will be cat litter kicked all over the fucking floor the whole time, in which case I order you to get a cordless Dyson at once. You've probably already thought of that but just in case!)

I thought cats were supposed to be clean! Are you sure it isn't ill. I'd get it checked out if I were you. As for it bringing in dead creatures,that would freak me right out too,but getting it a bell for it's collar should help with that. Good luck OP.
PS ignore the catty comments on here, I suspect some mumsnetters haven't had their saucer of milk yet this morning

So dealing with this is a very difficult thing for me, for example if you were subjected to living with a pet rat or snake or spider or some other kind of animal that you felt uncomfortable around how would you feel

I lived with my son't (enormous - at least in my eyes!) snake in the house for 12 years - 5 of them after he left home.

He finally realised that he would never be able to take her into the tiny flats he was sharing, and we re-homed her.
It upset me. I am not a "snake" person. I am a fluffy-animal person, and a vegetarian (at the time - I've lapsed a little now) and having to defrost and warm up and feed her furry creatures was deeply upsetting for me.

Not once did I consider poisoning/getting rid of her. You take a responsibility on, and you see it through. Animals have no choice who they end up with, and don't have the capacity to leave.

(I was relieved when she went to her new home, though).

You're not ver nice Luc. The cat is getting old. Have some compassion, put some puppy training pads around. Who knows what we'll be like when we get older? One of our old cats wee'd twice in my husband's overnight bag (packed). Things happen.