Do you ever wish you married for money?

[augustales]

Or do you ever wish when picking a partner you considered money?

I don't think I'd marry for money but I definitely wouldn't have married someone with a feckless attitude to it. I just wouldn't have found that attractive in fact quiet the opposite. Dh and I are comfortable now
(Not rich) and both work with good jobs.

Not marry for money but someone who considered finances their responsibility too.

AyraStarkWolf No, in answer to your question I didn't like my sister. I don't like her now. I haven't spoken to her in 14 years. She is adeeply venal and unpleasant woman. When she knew I was dating this man but not interested in continuing to see him she asked to be introduced to him. She knew what I thought of him but was in love with him without ever having met him. If he had worked at Pressed Steel and lived in a semi in Swindon she would not have looked at him twice. She makes her own decisions. Don't blame me for her decisions.

That's the most unpleasant thing I've read in along time and , as a class, I hate men.

^

Men are not a class

I will admit, it crossed my mind. I am happily married, 10y marriage super solid.
BUT I met him at school, where basically everybody was on track to a 100k salary, me included, so no question of being a trophy wife, however lots of students had extremely wealthy families. 10% women, so as a female student I would have been in a position to «target» wealth and at the same time finding someone I really liked.
I am with DH now, and his upper-class but almost ruined family. We ean well, but we will never be millionaires. I don’t regret my choices but yes I think I could have had a different life if I thought about money when dating.

GaraMedouar in truth I'm possibly being slightly unfair to DH he has been a SAHD for a while as we have had preschoolers for the past eight years and I've always been fortunate to command a decent salary.....still I am just about fed up of short mat leaves and long hours when other women who are arguably less accomoplished but who have far superior self esteem have 'easier' existences. I'm just fed up but mainly with my own piss poor choices and lack of foresight.
Like you I am trying my utmost to teach my daughters some unnerringly positive self regard. Hopefully I will be successful in doing so.
You sound lovely and very self aware and fifty is still young in the gramd scheme of things, I hope you meet somebody who values you as much as you deserve them to.

Married a man who earns much less than me and really doesn't bother me. He works part time and is a rock at home while I earn 6 times his salary. Think I prefer being the earner rather than marrying a man who earns more than me.

No, but I am glad I married someone who has a very similar attitude to work, money and lifestyle that I do ... might sound a bit dull but the one thing we never argue or worry about is money, we both dutifully pay into our pensions, savings & investments, enjoy a few treats but never go overdrawn or into debt.

Christ imagine a if a man said he was sick of earning more than his wife and that he was going to cut his hours down to make sure she started earning

Sorry to answer no I wouldn’t prostitute myself, it’s amazing to think that we fight for equality then someone comes along and fucks it up

Evilspiritgin
If that was directed at me, tbh I'd sympathise with him completely knowing as I do that being the sole earner in a family, on less than 55K is stressful beyond belief.

I just wish I married someone who isn't an idiot with money. Not rich. Just not 'buy everything on amazon' stupid.

Yes. And if I was younger and slimmer I would do it.

Yes, this is my aim in life 😂

Nope. We're broke but dp is actually the best person I've ever met in my life, he's wonderful and our dd is just like him 🙂

Absolutely not!!!! I have way too much self respect to ever be beholden to a man for money. Plus I ve read too many threads on here about how 6 figure earners treat their wives. Not a chance!!

I married for love but that worked out terribly for me; I’m now divorced. I would have been better of financially if I’d never married (and my exH was extremely fair and generous about the division of assets, it could have been a lot, lot worse).

So, knowing what I know now, I would probably only consider marriage in the future if it would be financially to my benefit - which is sad to say but I wouldn’t risk being put in a position where divorce would put me at risk of having to sell my home from under my, and my DCs, feet. That said, I wouldn’t seek someone with money to marry, and I wouldn’t turn down a relationship with someone just because they didn’t earn/own much - I just wouldn’t risk my financial security by marrying them.

Absolutely. My DP is a total tightwad and it has a negative impact on our relationship.

No, but I'm glad I married someone who's financially compatible with me. Neither of us are particularly materialistic and he'd never put his family in financial jeopardy by running up debt. We both like to own what we have and if that means saving up, that's what we do.

I do know people who lease really nice cars and have massive mortgages, but that lifestyle would make me uncomfortable as a slight drop in income could be disastrous. I know a family who's going through that right now and the Mercedes has had to go - it was just leased and they can't afford the payments.

Nope I make my own money.

This thread!! I don’t think marrying for money is a good idea. Not solely, I think it may have a bearing on things. Sorry but I wouldn’t go out with someone unemployed etc and I think we should consider it but marrying solely on money is shallow IMO. Also money does not make you happy

i married for money in my first marriage. dreadfully unhappy and he was a scrooge it appeared. used to make me keep the receipts for bus fares, bread and milk for his accountant. now married for love.

Men are not a class

Perhaps brush up on gender-based terminology. Men are indeed a class; as are women.

I married for money and I HATE it. I don't work and I have whatever I want but I've grown to detest my husband and regret my choice deeply.

I would divorce him but we have a child and it would mean taking my DS away from his father and moving to my home country.

It's used appropriately. In terms of sex and gender terminology it stands to reason. That poster has had negative experiences as a result of men ergo dislikes the sex-based class of men. The rights and wrongs of that are perhaps better explored with a therapist but there we go.

Reminds me of this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3522104-To-advise-my-daughter-to-marry-rich