Do you ever wish you married for money?

[augustales]

Or do you ever wish when picking a partner you considered money?

[BlingLoving]

No. But I did take into account the partnership aspect of our relationship before committing to marriage - that required me to consider all the things we'd need to navigate from finances to child rearing and how we could/should do it as a partnership. It's worked out that I hear the bulk of the money, but it's never been a problem because our relationship works as he enables me to earn the money.

Basically, I do think finances ARE something you should take into account. But it shouldn't be done in isolation.

[Happyspud]

I don’t need any man to provide for me. But I did marry someone wealthy. He’s wealthy because he’s intelligent, talented and extremely driven. I fell in love with him for his passion and intelligence. He fascinated me and made me think and see the world differently. He was never going to be poor or average financially.

[EmeraldShamrock]

Basically, I do think finances ARE something you should take into account
This.
Rethinking your OP, I wouldn't marry purely for money, but wish I had of considered it when seeking a spouse so to speak, being a lovely guy who adores you is not always enough, if he has no prospect or drive to earning good money. I want my DC to earn their own money but I want them to consider the whole package of a relationship.

[FudgeBrownie2019]

I didn't marry DH for his money at all, but the whole dependability aspect he offered definitely added to his appeal. He's lovely in pretty much every way imaginable, and I was head over heels before it occurred to me that he was well-off. So yes, I can see the appeal. I'd still have to love them, but life is 100% easier when you're not worrying about money issues.

[OrangeJuiceandArmchairs]

Not for money but my god marrying a skint person was a mistake. It's not that he didn't have money it's the fact he lacked any ability to earn and keep money. It's like a rot that pervades everything that I do.

Children? Short mat leave for me
House? Nope into rented

He had debts and I helped him clear them then as with a pp he did fine out of me when we divorced and now pays paltry child maintenance.

[Smumzo]

I married a successful man and I wouldn't have married anyone who made less than me. I knew I'd want the choice to stay home with the kids and not have to scrape every penny. I could care less about extravagant wealth but I did care about being able to live comfortably off one salary.

[IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets]

No. But I was pretty lucky to start with because because for the first 4/5 years of our marriage DH earned quite a lot and I suppose I was “kept.” It was nice not having to concern myself too much with earning and being able to have most things I wanted.

But then DH was made redundant and over the course of about 6 months as he struggled to find more work our lives changed massively. It was very stressful - first we worried about paying for the DC’s activities, then we worried how we were going to buy them birthday and Christmas gifts, then we worried about how we were going to manage to clothe and shod them, then finally we worried about losing the roof over our heads. It was awful. And I couldn’t have gone through that with anyone else. I love DH very much and if I didn’t our marriage would have been torn to shreds by the financial worry. I guess the point I’m making is that if you marry for money and your financial position change, it’ll be game over.

[BlueMerchant]

Yes.
I think I set the bar low in all respects if I'm totally honest.

[BruceAndNosh]

Money doesn't buy you happiness.
But it does allow you to be miserable in comfort

[GlitterPixie]

Yes I’m in an unhappy marriage and it’s mostly unhappy because of money issues. I would never have another relationship where my partner wasn’t responsible with money and a good provider

[NaturatintGoldenChestnut]

No. BUT I wouldn't have married a man who didn't share my same attitude towards finances and who wasn't a person who used initiative and who didn't have a history of good, stable employment.

[winbinin]

I didn’t marry for money, we were both working at a similar professional level when we met, but then DH worked very hard and got rich (by our standards anyway), so YAY! I got love and money.

I know someone who didn’t (I don’t think) actually consciously marry for money but there is no doubt that the fact he was well off and could offer a very nice lifestyle was a big part of the attraction. She was so anxious not to be seen as a gold digger that on the honeymoon she was quite aggressive with him when he tried to pay for a hotel. He took offence and they have maintained completely separate finances ever since. Later on in their life he was caught doing something unethical and was barred from his chosen field so the family income dropped hugely. She stepped up to ensure the mortgage could still be paid and became very successful in pharma sales and is now well off herself but they still run their finances like flatmates not a couple. They are odd.

Moral of the story - don’t marry for money. It can’t be relied on and won’t make you happy.

[Charley50]

YES! Only sometimes though.

[SparrowBo]

No I didn't but we made money together as we've gone.
We've got very similar views on money.

[DistanceCall]

No. I'm not a prostitute.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I dumped a bloke earning an absolute fortune (6 very big figures) to go out with (then unemployed) DH.

He has a great job now, as do I, so it all worked out and I'm not forced to drink gin, take Valium and sleep with the pool boy, which I would have been had I married the first bloke.

[Scott72]

There are aren't enough rich blokes to go around for all the women who want to marry for money anyhow.

[NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace]

Absolutely not! Should I need more money, I'll sort it out myself.

[DistanceCall]

That was an answer to the question in the thread title, btw.

There is a HUGE difference between marrying for money and taking someone's attitude to money into account (as well as their attitude towards child-rearing if you want to have children, towards keeping their word, towards sex, how they treat people, how they treat you, etc.)

[NewAccount270219]

To be clear: I sometimes wonder slightly wistfully what it would be like if DH had stayed in his old job and so we had massively more money, but I never wish I'd married someone else, even if that someone else came with a massive fortune

[whitehalleve]

Nope. I could have done twice but I didn't love them.

[GregoryPeckingDuck]

Meh, occasionally. Not married per se but rather married then divorced for money. I wouldn’t tie myself to someone for life for money though. Money is fickle and can’t be relied upon.

[StormcloakNord]

I think you should take money into account. Many many times I've been with people for love/passion alone and it just went nowhere. I was always the breadwinner, I always had the ambition and it was always me bearing financial burden. There's only so much of a relationship you can endure through love alone, I guess.

I'm lucky enough to have married DH taking both into account. He has a great personality, he's handsome and is very respectful. He's not wealthy but then I never wanted to be rich, but he has a good paying job and has the same ambition as me and wants to earn more so we can have a nicer life. It's made it a very easy marriage (so far!)

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

No and I would be appalled if my children thought that was the basis for picking a partner

As long as they could meet their half of the bills and had a work ethic that's the only stipulation. I don't want to carry another adult financially

[CKWattisthemanager]

My sister married 'old money'. Her life is shite. Living in a falling down damp mausoleum of a house they can never sell. Her health is poor. Every penny that passes through their hands goes on the house or estate and their life is dictated by Grade II listing this that and another. Her DH is related to some very famous names and has an amazing 'pedigree'. I introduced her to him because he was interested in me but he was a knob. He still is a knob. BIL the knob.