Do you ever wish you married for money?

[augustales]

Or do you ever wish when picking a partner you considered money?

I have been married twice both times to fairly successful men. However the second one is lovely and first was tight and selfish.
I also earn a good salary too so expenses are shared and we live in a house I bought and own outright.
I think money does not make you happy for sure but having not much is really stressful (I was a single parent for 7 years) between the 2 marriages. As pan says a bit of ambition and drive in life is attractive in both partners.

I am very happy with the person I married!
I wouldnt change the way things worked out for anything.
Sometimes weve had a lot if money, some times we haven't had much, sometimes I've had to support Lisbon my wage alone and other times Dp has carried the burden. The only thing that is constant is that we are happy together. That is priceless!

No. I was married to a rich guy once. I didnt have to work if i didn't want to but he controlled everything. . Its not all its cracked up to be, if you have your own mind. (I left with nothing by choice btw)
Current dp hasn't got a pot to piss in! It doesn't matter. I have increased my drive to make my own money and will happily fund dp to retire early and live it up on my dime

I would like to be richer, and me and DH have had some struggles over the years. (Not so bad now.)

However, although I would like to be rich, I would not want to marry for money, because the money would not be mine IYSWIM. I would like to be rich, but with my success and my own self-made money.

I do not want to be begging money off a man.

That said, I would never pick a man who was very poor/in debt/has poor money management, or who didn't work, or was very flaky, and in and out of jobs. A man has to be a hard worker, and not someone who squanders/wastes money, or gambles and so on...

My first marriage was to a money obsessed rich person who only cared about money yet was very tight with it

Now I’m married to someone who is very generous but also very frugal himself.

My DP does have a lot more money than I do, and honestly I'm not sorry to be with someone who is very secure financially, and is able (and generous enough) to subsidise our life together while I'm waiting for my state pension.

It didn't have anything to do with us getting together in the first place. But I wouldn't want to have a partner who was careless about money.

£10,000 a year and a haughty air. What more could a gal ask for.

No, the happiest relationship I had was with someone with sod all money. The pleasure money can bring isn’t enoug to forgo the pleasure of loving someone and being loved.

Many many times I've been with people for love/passion alone and it just went nowhere. I was always the breadwinner, I always had the ambition and it was always me bearing financial burden. There's only so much of a relationship you can endure through love alone, I guess.

Yes....I wonder if any of the rich men who women just marry for money, think this...

Yes. I love my dh, but he is rubbish with money and not consistent when it comes to employment. I have to pick up the slack a lot, earning money where I can. It's shit and I would love to have a wealthy partner who would take care of finances.

The thing is, there are probably only a handful of women who can really have the open choice of 'marrying for money'.
They are almost always incredibly beautiful and/or have beguiling personalities, and probably also work in a niche job that puts them in regular contact with men with lots of money.

The idea that most of MN posters had a 2-horse choice between John the plumber or Hugo the old-money aristo millionaire when it came to picking a husband is just fanciful. Most people won't even meet Hugo the millionaire in a social situation, let alone be in his radar as girlfriend material

And when someone does marry for money, it probably comes with strings. Stay this size and weight, don't complain about me working late all the time, don't snoop too much when you suspect I'm not just working too late, turn a blind eye to me piling on the weight when I insist you should be back in your pre-pregnancy jeans

You don't just get your lovely husband plus a million quid in the bank!

Yes absolutely. It never crossed my mind until after PFB was born and we had to choose a nursery. I realised too late that my romantic ideals of "broke but in love" weren't going to get my PFB into the best nursery never mind a world class education away from the grind of the local comp .

In the end we did send PFB to the best nursery in town and part of me subtly thinks I'm a twat for choosing it when we can't afford the fees, the transport costs or the extracurricular activities. Still, that's what 0% credit cards are for

I dated a few computer programmers and engineers back in the day. They will all be on 80k plus by now. Sigh. Shame they were all utter and total twats.

On the whole, no. I have my own money and whilst not well-off, I do ok. I earn about 40% more than DH.

However, I did not take into account the impact of having a child, being forced to go part time by cuts in the sector I worked in and then being made redundant on maternity leave. The stress on me was enormous and in all honesty, an element of resentment kicked in. DH has a steady but underpaid job. His disability means he can't drive so was unable to take roles earning more money.

I had to use savings to survive, work part time on mat leave as self employed. My mental health went down the pan, anxiety through the roof. Its taken 5 years to get back to normal. He still has the same job.

But he is downstairs now making dinner and does lots of housey-stuff (the jobs I hate) so I can work (I sometimes have to work away). Plus we are good friends and he's cute.

Nope. I'm not motivated by money. I can earn my own and am comfortable and live within my means. We aren't in debt and I am very happy with my man. We don't earn a great deal but we can enjoy life.

YES.
There's quite a lot of room between wealthy and old-money aristo tenbob.
My ex is very wealthy, what a fool I was.

I also wish I had considered the quality of the in-laws I would be getting. Kind and loving in-laws would make a huge difference.

My grandad used to say ‘marry for love not money, but mind you love where there’s money!!’ 🤣

My mother always said ‘money may not buy you happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bike’! 🤣

Mercenary lot!

No. I'm not a prostitute.

This^

There are aren't enough rich blokes to go around for all the women who want to marry for money anyhow.

And this^

(Although reading this thread there are more than enough gold diggers to go around for the rich men who might want one!)

Never have and never would.

But if I were to ever get married again, it'd have to be to someone with a similar earning potential or at least someone with a modicum of humility and the personal maturity to acknowledge that I'm the one with the money.

Never would have said that until I lost a minor fortune in my divorce due to the fact that I was a high earner while exH was a serial bankrupter of "innovative" start-ups. And the subsequent years of being berated by exMIL for leaving him destitute when he and his new wife were living in a mortgage free home I once used to own. Apparently, he'd told them he was really successful and had made all the money that was actually my salary.

Actually I apologise if I’m being harsh there...

What are we considering “marrying for money” exactly?

A bloke who’s on £40-50k and not based in London, for example?

Or seeerious money?

"By marrying for money I don't mean someone earning £100k, I mean either inherited wealthy ee old families, or business owners on £400k+ a year etc"

No, absolutely not. I have everything I want on an income less than that, and a husband I married for love!

For me it's not marrying for money as such but I wish I had fallen for some less lazy more career orientated.

After reading on here, I often wish I had married a high earner. Then I realise that actually, I should put more effort into being a high earner myself!

I’m the daughter of an emotionally unavailable millionaire. He was poor but hardworking when my parents met and married but became rich. My mum stayed with him for financial security.

It all royally fucked me up so no, I wouldn’t recommend marrying for money. I’d recommend marrying a good hearted, kind and decent man with a strong work ethic who can make you laugh.

The thought has crossed my mind. Fortunately I am completely self-sufficient.