Do you ever wish you married for money?

[augustales]

Or do you ever wish when picking a partner you considered money?

I had this opportunity it my late teens, set up by family with a guy with a view to marriage , I came from a very old fashioned Italian family. This family were incredibly wealthy, owned well known wine producing vineyards, had their own helicopter etc. I was supposed to be rhe pretty little Italian wife, having lots of little Italian babies. I rejected the idea wholesale and don't regret it for one moment. The truth of the matter is I simply didn't fancy him at all. Much to everyone's horror at the time.

Yes. If you have to engage in a filthy divorce battle over finances, it would be nice for there to be something worth the fucking fight (all round "nice guy" turned out to be total arsehole behind closed doors...now fighting me over frippery).

No way. If anything, I got a bit worried when DH started making serious money, incase he changed (he didn’t). It did inspire me to up my game and start my own business though. Money buys you the security to take risks.

It would be miserable marrying for money instead of love. Recipe for unhappiness.

No, but I do often wish I'd waited and married someone with a career and aspirations. I feel we would have a lot more to talk about and more share interests.

Yes.
I could have married someone rich (who went on to become very rich) but I just knew he didn't respect me, and I couldn't live in that world (full of banking nobs in red trousers)!

On the other hand I couldn't be with someone with zero ambition who did nothing, just for love.

Not so much money, more they're capabilities on handling finances

A lot of people responding to this thread suggesting marrying for love and marrying for money are mutually exclusive.
I married for both, in so much as - I knew when I met my husband that he was very successful and very driven in his own right and would provide us and our future children a very comfortable life. Which he has. I can’t say for certain but I think I’d have found it hard to marry someone who I knew was financially unstable or had very few prospects as it’s setting yourself up for a potential life of struggle.

Equally, I could never imagine my life without my husband and hope I never have to. If he lost it all tomorrow I’d love him just as much as I always have.

CKWatt my mothers friend lives like this, gawd the damp, uninhabitable rooms, now she is elderly the squalor as well. I no longer eat, drink, or have a pee there.

No. Had the chance but remember wanting to get away from him at every given opportunity.

That said, I wouldn't blame a woman who's sole agenda is to bag a bloke with serious cash. To each, their own.

I was told that I was marrying money.
Now I find myself with a cupboard full of Tesco T E Stockwell ultra budget items.

The dh supplied was not as described in the blurb.

No - but I do sometimes wish I'd chosen a rather better remunerated career than I did.

Tarragon, fell on the floor laughing at the blurb.

A lot of people responding to this thread suggesting marrying for love and marrying for money are mutually exclusive.

Marrying for love and marrying a rich man aren't mutually exclusive, but surely marrying for love and marrying for money are?

I wish my ex h had been loaded.
It would would have made the divorce so much more bareable.

Yup.

No way am I madly in love with my DH, I just settled, I should have just settled instead for some Texan billionaire, at least I wouldn't have to get up early to go to work!

YES and NO.

I don't think its a bad thing for a woman to take this into account. It used to be THE most important thing not that long ago in the Britain! A man COULDN'T marry unless he could afford to keep a wife and children! Especially if he wanted a middle-class wife. But even an average woman expected her husband to be able to keep her economically.

I had a chance to once, but couldn't, because he was too old and I didn't love him really fully in that romantic way. I just couldn't, even though I knew the rest of my life would be secure.

So, I have remained poor and this has not been without its major struggles and problems.

On the upside, I have trod my own path, and that has had its rewards also.

No - but I do sometimes wish I'd chosen a rather better remunerated career than I did.
^

This also.

I introduced her to him because he was interested in me but he was a knob. He still is a knob

Why would you set your sister up with someone who you think is a knob? Don't you like her?

Threads like these are great for keeping the stereotypes about women going. I despair

v. funny Eustace

Of course. But that’s coz I make good money myself and wanted to meet someone who shares the same ambition / values etc etc etc

But could I marry someone who was revolting but rich? No thanks.

I was the one with my own and family money when we got married. DH had prospects. DH has increased our money tenfold if not more.

I married him because I loved him and we shared politics, a view on religion, enjoyed books and a peaceful, unflashy life. He was also clever, honest, and very moral.

No. And unlike many posters on this thread I didn't marry a man who has subsequently become wealthy either. But we have pulled together and that in itself is very satisfying.

Lots of people talk about the desire to become wealthy as "shared values". To me, the desire to make lots of money is not a value in itself. The desire to work hard and benefit other people and meet your responsibilities- those are the values. Sometimes that does indeed bring money and that's nice. But it's not the "I want money bit" that is some kind of moral value.

Someone I know married for money, she was beautiful, he was rich but a despicable horrible person. He was around 20plus years older than her.So when she was in her mid 40s he was knocking on 70.
He had very bad health and strokes etc and ended up wheelchair bound, and was so verbally abusive and disgusting it was shocking.He'd say really disgusting things about sex in front of visitors etc.

She failed to get him the care he needed and he just ended up rotting away basically in a room in the house. She nearly had a breakdown because she couldn't bear to be near him etc. Eventually she met someone else and he went into a home. She always said when people talk about marrying for money think of me and my experiences.

When I was in my early/mid 20's I found my self dating two men, one who was cute, funny, ok job and modest house, run down car. The other was very handsome, rich, custom made beautiful home and nice car. The rich one was crazy about me and made it very clear he was ready to settle down. The funny one was slower to commit but we had the best time together, could talk and laugh together for hours, and he had so many attractive qualities. It got to the point where I had to choose one and I chose who I had the better connection with (the funny one ). We've now been happily married for 7 years, have 3 kids, he has done amazingly well with work and makes major £££ and I'm a SAHM ❤️

I'd say choose love but also be cautious about what type of man he is - if he's intelligent and hard working then things will turn out well.

(I've stalked my ex on social media and he looks old, bald and fat. Probably still rich and his wife is gorgeous but blehhh zero attraction there.)

I married someone with high earning potential. I didn’t think about it at the time. Now I wish I’d spent more time considering my earning power as every decision has basically favoured his career and hampered mine, leaving me in a vulnerable position. It wasn’t particularly intentional and I was fine with it at first because it seemed to make sense. And then as the focus on his career compounded the difference it made more and more “sense”.

But over the decades of our married life we’ve had some ups and downs and I’ve realised how vulnerable it’s left me, despite the very nice life I have. I would do things differently if I had my time over.