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AIBU?

Do you ever wish you married for money?

295 replies

augustales · 15/04/2019 14:09

Or do you ever wish when picking a partner you considered money?

OP posts:

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MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 15/04/2019 15:27

There was a thread almost identical to this only a few weeks ago. January? February?

But to answer the question: No. And I would judge anyone who did (both sides, him as much as her for taking as a life partner someone who you knew didn't love you) and would actively avoid them in my RL as I think the attitude is horrible.

CamillafromCobham · 15/04/2019 15:28

I didn't marry for money but I married someone wealthy. I doubt I would have even gone out with him if he didn't have a good job. That said, I had a "high flying" career myself (we met at work) but would have been slow to go out with someone who earned less than I did.

justasking111 · 15/04/2019 15:32

I think shared values are at the heart of it. I guess a cave dwelling woman needed a healthy man who could hunt while she collected nuts, berries, herbs and cared for the children. It is a partnership whether you live in a cave or a palace.

justarandomtricycle · 15/04/2019 15:32

Probably about as much as he wishes he married for barbie doll looks. So no.

MummyMCM · 15/04/2019 15:37

Marrying for love and marrying a rich man aren't mutually exclusive, but surely marrying for love and marrying for money are?

I’m not sure they are. Can you not marry someone for both i.e because you love them but also because you know they have money?

GiantPretzel · 15/04/2019 15:40

What a depressing question. Make your own money, if it's that important to you, or berate yourself from having accidentally been born into the wrong family.

BreconBeBuggered · 15/04/2019 15:42

I think you're right about shared values, justasking. I had my share of encounters with students from far wealthier backgrounds than my own at university, where I met DH, but there was always some ultimate barrier of understanding which chemistry couldn't override. Those who turned out to be Tories were pretty much a turn-off early on, but well-off left-wingers seemed a bit patronising and touristy to the girl with the unemployed dad and cleaner mum. We took things very seriously in the 80s.

Chocolou · 15/04/2019 15:42

Absolutely yes. We are skint and it's so stressful. Puts a massive strain on our relationship not being able to do anything ever.

recklessgran · 15/04/2019 15:43

Nope, not a chance. Marry for love, not money. You can always get money but you can't get love.

RomanyQueen1 · 15/04/2019 15:47

No, married my soulmate, we are poor, always have been, always will be. Luckily neither of us is into materialism, owning lots of stuff, and luxuries.
We are very happy together and met 30 years ago.

BumbleBeeWineGlass · 15/04/2019 15:48

No way - I couldn't do it.

DH has the ability and is headhunted regularly and could make ££££ more than he does but it would mean him being all around the world so the answer is always no and I love him much more for that. I'd rather have a budget to stick to and see my husband every night than have a lot of wealth and see him once a week. It's just not a marriage for me if they're not there.

FemForceOne · 15/04/2019 15:49

Christ its like feminism never happened.
Either you want equality or you don't. If you don't fine f off and enjoy your life built on the backs of other women.

Provincialbelle · 15/04/2019 15:50

Wouldn’t marry just for money but many marriages end because of disagreements over money or sex, as the divorce courts can confirm

AryaStarkWolf · 15/04/2019 15:51

Christ its like feminism never happened.
Either you want equality or you don't. If you don't fine f off and enjoy your life built on the backs of other women.

I know, this thread is depressing as fuck

Karenjane124 · 15/04/2019 15:52

I married a rich guy and he died oops now I’m super rich and really happy

Karenjane124 · 15/04/2019 15:53

Who’s boom boom

AlaskanOilBaron · 15/04/2019 15:56

I married an enormously sexy/lefty brainiac academic who seemed destined to never make any money, but he left academia after we had kids and as it turns out has a great talent for making money.

We've never fought over money, during times of no money and more money. We fight a lot over other things, but we're happy in general.

FemForceOne · 15/04/2019 15:57

Karenjane

That's the most unpleasant thing I've read in along time and , as a class, I hate men.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 15/04/2019 15:58

I didn't marry for money as such but I did make sure when I was on the dating scene that whoever I decided to settle down with was financially independent and had a bit of ambition career wise

Jebuschristchocolatebar · 15/04/2019 16:06

I very much married for love but I wouldn’t have dated someone who was at odds with my long term goals in life and who was from a totally different background to me. I had a comfortable upbringing and my parents urged me to get into a good career and make my own money but they also encouraged my to marry someone with a good career and financial stability.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 15/04/2019 16:08

That's the most unpleasant thing I've read in along time and , as a class, I hate men.

You hate men?

Even if you caveat it with a 'as a class' it's a pretty depressing world view

Rachelle11 · 15/04/2019 16:08

I once turned down a millionaire so no I would not marry for money. However, one of the reasons I fell in love with my dh was that he was driven and ambitious and I knew he'd be a hard worker and good provider.

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goingonabearhunt1 · 15/04/2019 16:10

Nope my DM always taught me to earn my own money and be independent. However, as PP have said, being responsible with money and basically solvent seems like a reasonable requirement to have of a partner (whether male or female).

Humpy84 · 15/04/2019 16:10

This story is stomach churning but I hope it makes people think and be grateful. I remember my step mother and my father who was financially comfortable, discussing an expensive antique table. He didn’t want to buy the table and I overheard the discussion and turned around at the wrong time to witness her making licking guestures with her mouth. I was in denial at the time (I would have been about 17.5) but now looking back it was unmistakable what this meant in the context of their negotiations. Like I said it was stomach churning. My point is that it doesn’t matter the man’s wealth because many wealthy mean like to control finances. I know a few people where the in-laws have money or husband and just not enjoyable because of power dynamic.

I wish I had a higher income myself as my little boy is often unwell in dayare and I can’t afford nanny. DH not really motivated or hands on as a dad so feel like many of my choices have caught up with me.

AlaskanOilBaron · 15/04/2019 16:10

I married a rich guy and he died oops now I’m super rich and really happy

Come tell us more you craven Jezebel

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