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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH says I have to do chores during my break from DC!

227 replies

SosigDog · 13/04/2019 11:25

DH is out all day tomorrow doing a hobby. He’s taken DC out to the park and cafe for lunch today. I went back to bed. DH has woken me up to supervise DC while he gets dressed and uses the loo. He disturbed me again to pack DC’s bag. Then again to ask where DC’s outdoor clothes are.

As I waved them off I said “Lovely jubbly, I’m going to have a bubble bath and read a magazine”. “Er no” said DH, “You’ll do something useful like emptying the dishwasher or hoovering”.

AIBU to think that I should be able to lie in the bath if I want?! He certainly won’t be hoovering tomorrow on his day off so why should I hoover today on my day off?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 13/04/2019 11:26

Is he your boss?

SpriggyTheHedgehog · 13/04/2019 11:26

WTF? Who the hell does he think he is? Does he usually order you around like this?

ScreamingValenta · 13/04/2019 11:27

What a rude way to speak!

catsoup · 13/04/2019 11:27

Why does he think it's acceptable to talk to you like that?

NaomifromMilkshake · 13/04/2019 11:27

Tell him it is the maids day off, and yours so don't expect anything to be done when he gets back.

He sounds like a knob.

LittleBearPad · 13/04/2019 11:27

How old are the children

Original poster
SosigDog · 13/04/2019 11:28

He’s not the boss of me. I’m in the bath whether he likes it or not!

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 13/04/2019 11:28

'DH has woken me up to supervise DC while he gets dressed and uses the loo. He disturbed me again to pack DC’s bag. Then again to ask where DC’s outdoor clothes are.'

Is he really that useless.

pumpkinpie01 · 13/04/2019 11:28

I wouldn’t like to be told what to do that would annoy me !

Ylvamoon · 13/04/2019 11:30

Grin my DH used to do this - more in a joking way. Would l never do anything... And when he came home it be: oh gosh honey is it really THAT late???

ParmaViolet44 · 13/04/2019 11:30

Wow, you really need to ask!? What an idiot.

Enjoy your bath!! Smile

SpriggyTheHedgehog · 13/04/2019 11:30

You have a serious problem here if he thinks that this is acceptable, not to mention him being so incompetent that he can't look for things.

Original poster
SosigDog · 13/04/2019 11:30

DC is 1yo and doesn’t sleep. I’m a SAHM and do all night wakings. DH gets home to do story and bedtime but then won’t see DC again until the same time the following evening.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 13/04/2019 11:30

Put of interest. He’s clearly being a twerp

Illberidingshotgun · 13/04/2019 11:30

You're both entitled to some down time. Presumably you will have the DC all tomorrow whilst he is doing his hobby? So today is your day to relax and switch off a bit. Any reason why he can't hoover and empty the dishwasher when he gets back from the park?

Butterymuffin · 13/04/2019 11:30

What's he going to do if you don't, put you in detention?
Point out to him what you've said here about both of you and your respective 'days off'.

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 13/04/2019 11:30

Sounds like a twunt

Original poster
SosigDog · 13/04/2019 11:32

Is he really that useless
He insisted it was unpleasant for DC to be in the bathroom while he does #2 so I had to get out of bed and supervise. Of course when I’m on my own with DC every fucking day we have to go in the bathroom together and nobody has died yet.

OP posts:
Original poster
SosigDog · 13/04/2019 11:34

Presumably you will have the DC all tomorrow whilst he is doing his hobby?
Yep. But he’s out of the house. Whereas I am apparently fair game to be pestered because I want to spend my down time at home catching up on sleep, having a bath and watching the telly.

OP posts:
Eminado · 13/04/2019 11:34

So he is resentful about looking after his own DC just one day a week? Yet he is free all tomorrow?

He doesnt know where their clothes are? Or how to pack a bag?

Maybe he should do more Saturdays .....

FudgeBrownie2019 · 13/04/2019 11:37

I'd leave the house now and not come back til late tomorrow. Let him juggle and negotiate all the things you do seamlessly behind the scenes to make his life easier. How is he making your life easier?

As for not being able to pack a bag for a child without another adult's support, he's a knob and needs a reality check.

Candleglow7475 · 13/04/2019 11:37

Hmmm today is your day off, which is equivalent to his day off tomorrow. If he chooses to spend it doing his hobby fine, but he doesn’t chose how you spend yours.
Also he’s ruining your lie in by insisting you supervise whilst he’s in the loo, and making you be involved in finding outdoor clothes etc. It’s controlling behaviour.

Original poster
SosigDog · 13/04/2019 11:37

I was genuinely wondering if AIBU to expect him to take DC to the loo with him because I’ve gone back to bed.

OP posts:
Candleglow7475 · 13/04/2019 11:40

Yes he Is BU, Going into the loo together is hardly the end of the world is it?
He’s subtly scuppering your peace & quiet by insisting you get involved.

Meandwinealone · 13/04/2019 11:41

He really doesn’t sound nice I’m afraid.
It’s just one of those typical posts where the op is seen as some kind of housekeeper and the dh doesn’t even much like spending time with his kids.
Pretty sad how common this is.

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