DH says I have to do chores during my break from DC!

[SosigDog]

DH is out all day tomorrow doing a hobby. He’s taken DC out to the park and cafe for lunch today. I went back to bed. DH has woken me up to supervise DC while he gets dressed and uses the loo. He disturbed me again to pack DC’s bag. Then again to ask where DC’s outdoor clothes are.

As I waved them off I said “Lovely jubbly, I’m going to have a bubble bath and read a magazine”. “Er no” said DH, “You’ll do something useful like emptying the dishwasher or hoovering”.

AIBU to think that I should be able to lie in the bath if I want?! He certainly won’t be hoovering tomorrow on his day off so why should I hoover today on my day off?

Unfortunately he sounds a bit like h, if you glance at the divorce boards you will see how that ended up. Stand your ground and once your youngest is 3 get your career back so you don't end up in my situation. He's currently playing computer which moaning that I'm not doing the gardening!

I’m actually a bit torn here. This entirely depends on whether you do your fair share of the chores? If you don’t, I can understand why he would expect you to help a bit more during your down time.
If you do your share then YANBU.

Do you have a long-term plan to deal with these issues?

OP has said:

DC is 1yo and doesn’t sleep. I’m a SAHM and do all night wakings. DH gets home to do story and bedtime but then won’t see DC again until the same time the following evening.

I'm pretty sure that means she does her 'share' of the chores. It's more likely she does most of them.

What a tw*t. OP you are clearly not BU.
He needs to grow up and learn to be a parent. And if my husband ever spoke to me like that re chores, well then he would no longer be my husband.

I'd leave the house now and not come back til late tomorrow
I don’t want to though. Why should I have to? I want to watch IPlayer and soak in the bath.

This entirely depends on whether you do your fair share of the chores?
During the week DH works and I do childcare. At night DH sleeps ready for work the next day and I do childcare. I do laundry, dishes and cooking during the week as well. He hasn’t done any laundry since about 2013.

If I were you I’d stop at one child with this man.
Are you planning to go back to work ?

He sounds to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Stop doing his laundry for a start

I would get back to work ASAP

You have one DC aged 1. How has DH not done any clothes washing since 2013? This isn’t just mat leave laziness is it. He’s an entitled lazy bastard.

'I want to watch IPlayer and soak in the bath.'

Check into a nice hotel and do the above.

Get yourself a day pass at a posh gym, relax in the jacuzzi, sauna etc, read magazines, watch tv/Netflix on tablet in the nice restaurant area

You have one DC aged 1. How has DH not done any clothes washing since 2013?
His job is more professional and demanding than mine was. I worked 9-5 and quite often less than that (zero hour contract). He worked 9-7 and sometimes more. So I didn’t mind taking on more of the chores because he was working more hours.

Don't let his attitude ruin your rest OP. Enjoy your break and if he does say anything when you get back tell him he can pull his attitude out of the 1950s if he wants a happy relationship.

YANBU - this is an example of one of the reasons i chose to be a single mum again after DS1. I cannot stand that whole having to battle day in day out for the load to be shared equally. When ds goes with his dad (only a few hours at a time) I can do what I want. Granted I will have dds 8 and 15 with me but i can still have a nice bath, read a book, watch a film during this time.

Check into a nice hotel and do the above
I actually worry about DC’s well-being and safety if I disappear for a whole day. DH won’t remember to cook lunch and he’s likely to just say “shut up” if DC cries.

Ah, so this has followed the pattern of 'man's work is more important so woman does the housework' which has now progressed to 'man's work has specific hours, but woman's work is never done, therefore she should always be doing work rather than relaxing or doing anything else'.

Tell him you're both entitled to work-free days - including housework - and this is yours.

Bloody hell Op

Sounds like a lie in is least of your worries.

My husband has worked a lot more hours than I ever have - all through our marriage. He has always done his fair share of housework- laundry, cleaning, shopping ..
Please make sure you don’t martyr yourself

Why don't people use a playpen any more? Ideal to put baby in for 10mins while you go to loo, make a sandwich etc

Fuck me, this is shocking.

Just see your latest post
Definitely stop at one child
How do your finances work?

Why are you with him? You and your children deserve better.

anyone is in their rights to say what they wish you would do.. and take the consequences for saying that.
But as an adult I can't imagine a situation where my partner could tell me to do chores and when!

Tell him why this wrong on more than 1 level. Make it a learning moment.

Tell him you'll call him to come home from work when you need him to supervise dc while you shit, and when HE needs to find the clothes for a day. And do it.
He sounds awful.