Why is there such a huge discrepancy between the school day/school hols and the majority of workplaces

[Lifeisbeaut]

Just returning to work after a career break and trying to work out the logistics of school pick ups, how to manage school holidays whilst minimising the children being passed from pillar to post without routine. It’s not manageable or affordable.
I wish more employers offered term time only or proper part time options. I feel like what’s the point in going back to work when I will barely see my children and I’m barely bringing much more money in. Whoever said we could have it all was lying (unless I am missing something?)

As for career parent/SAHP, both my husband and I have worked hard to build careers that we love. Why should either of us give that up? How would we decide? Draw straws?

Erm, maybe because you have kids and this is what happens
Men manage to find women happy to be sahm's why can't women do likewise. I wouldn't be with my dh if he hadn't have supported a sahm and likewise he wouldn't have chosen a career woman. I can't see how that's bizarre, it's common sense.

Gosh, bringonastring that sounded so sensible I had to rub my eyes and check I'd read it. So there are solutions! Who'd have thought it.

Neither DH nor I are 'career'. We both do professional jobs at a middling level. All or nothing wouldn't work for us. I really can't see why the world of work would fall apart if more parents of small DC did 4 days each (or 5 short days) as long as there are sufficient staff overall. Oddly enough, our employers have much better retention than the norm... One partner doing 60-80 hours a week while the other does the same at home is a recipe for stress and burnout all round and as I have said a few times, feeds the gender pay gap as women tend to marry slightly older men and then face all the barriers associated with motherhood.

The bizarre thing about these discussions is this isn't a minority issue although it's often discussed as though it were. It affects a huge chunk of the adult population either raising children or working with colleagues who are. Get it right and you affect a huge number of people. Get it wrong...

There are some professions that are really hard to work around without flexible (family) back up. Mostly medical types because dropping everything and leaving following a phone call is much more difficult if you're mid operation...

I am really struggling to find a job that would fit around DH who is a horse vet. He works 1 weekend in 4 - I therefore can't have a weekend job as I wouldn't have that much leave. He is on call at least 1 night a week - and not always the same night. Might be possible to negotiate to one of 2 nights plus Friday if working the weekend...

Evening finishes entirely unpredictable- has had several unplanned finishes at 8, one uncontactable because no phone signal in gully where with fire brigade... had been on track to finish by 5 until that call came in...

Working around that will be interesting...

randomsabreuse, I’m in a similar position although thankfully my DH’s hours a are little better (different job). The only thing I have found is to be very part time and have fixed days and hours (which leave me completely stuck in my current job) and doing the odd bit of bank / supply work (I’m a HCP) that I can book when I am free.

The only reason I have the set shifts is I have had them for years. If I was applying for the first time for my own job I wouldn’t get set days and would have to do more hours.

Erm, maybe because you have kids and this is what happens

Gosh I must have missed that time machine that transported us all back to the 50s. How could that have happened?

Men manage to find women happy to be sahm's why can't women do likewise.

I don’t even know where to start with this one. Honestly.

But firstly, the numbers of SAHD are minute when compared to SAHMs. We could have an interesting debate around whether that’s for societal, cultural, biological, industrial reasons, but that’s the fact. So you’re asking the impossible as a start off.

Secondly, increasing numbers of SAHDs, while laudable in some senses, would just put men in the same vulnerable position as women can be in now (no income of their own, lack of pension contribution, skill gaps when trying to enter the workforce, etc.)

As a solution to solve the problem it’s just total nonsense and I’m sure you know it

I think a good solution would be to re vamp the education system. And no I don't see school as child care. But if you look at schooling and the amount of subjects that many schools don't offer as exams subjects or are completely gone from the curriculum by year 10, than there is a huge deficit in terms of hours. Example DD is in y 10 she has 1hour of PE every other week - it's not a GCSE subject at her school....
There are no IT lessons beyond y 9 unless chosen as GCSE subject .... by increasing schooling hours, the school could offer more in terms of an all round 'fit for the workplace ' education.
PS: I am fully aware about the education crisis - it all goes hand in hand hence a total re vamp of the has As a solution. Scrap and start again!

No, what I’m saying is you will need other people’s children for both financial and practical reasons when you’re older. That’s how society works. By washing your hands of them now and declaring you have no obligation, you’re not playing your fair part in the social contract.

LaurieMarlow. You are deliberately ignoring parts of my post to suit your narrative. I clearly said that I have, for almost fifty years, worked and paid taxes to support other people’s children in education and healthcare without complaint. I never once said I was washing my hands or had no obligation. What I objected to was the suggestion that on top of all this, I should also be expected to pay for childcare.

I have played more than my fair part in the social contract. Being childfree I have ‘taken’ less than most from society while contributing without a break. I have been that person washing bottoms and caring for the sick for all my working life. I have made provision for my own old-age so that I won’t be a drain on society. Your accusation of me not playing my fair part is quite frankly not only insulting but patently untrue.

Firstly alexa you don’t seem to get how tax works. Your tax does not accumulate in a little pot with your name on it to fund your pension.

Your tax is spent on current pensioners’ pensions. That’s how the system works. Future employees taxes will pay yours. So on a financial basis, you are dependent on future generations just as past generations were dependent on you. This is how society works.

That’s not to mention the medical staff, caring staff, service staff who’ll service your needs when you’re older. Without other people’s kids you’d be totally fucked.

Lots of people pay in more than they take out. That’s not an unusual position to be in.

I find it odd that you’d say you’re fine supporting current heavy users of the NHS, yet feel no obligation whatsoever to an up and coming generation (who, see previous point, you’ll be relying on to wipe your arse in the nursing home).

LaurieMarlow. Yes, I ‘get’ how tax works and I appreciate there isn’t a little pot with my name on it at the Inland Revenue.

You don’t seem to get what I’m saying so I repeat. I gladly support other people’s children in their need for education and healthcare. I’m not quite sure why you find my support of the use of the NHS odd however. My statement that I gladly support these needs contradicts your allegation that I feel no obligation whatsoever to an up and coming generation. But obviously, you feel it furthers your argument to make misleading statements.

You do seem to be inordinately fixated on arse wiping.

Secondly, increasing numbers of SAHDs, while laudable in some senses, would just put men in the same vulnerable position as women can be in now (no income of their own, lack of pension contribution, skill gaps when trying to enter the workforce, etc.)

I thought the idea was that the patriarchy would take notice as soon as these kinds of vulnerabilities affected men?

Firstly alexa you don’t seem to get how tax works. Your tax does not accumulate in a little pot with your name on it to fund your pension.

Pretty sneery, don't you think?

I empathise with your predicament, it can’t be easy trying to organise childcare, add in the added cost and it becomes a logistical and financial nightmare.
I don’t have children btw but having wanted them for so long it’s something that is on my mind. I’ve toyed with the idea of cutting down my days when I hopefully do have children from 5 to 3 days, but I’m the breadwinner so that would have a massive impact on household finances.
So it’s either reduce days and be skint or keep at 5 days and not see the children.
Unfortunately I agree to a certain extent about employers flexibility. I have a senior position in a global organisation and I’m frequently picking up the slack for colleagues who come in late and leave early. They’re given special dispensation whereas I’m not (seems that it’s ok to do this if you have kids but not if you don’t).
The danger and extreme of inflexibility is that less people have children and/or children see less of their parents. Neither should be the way that we as a country should want to proceed.
Have you thought about changing careers/sectors or setting something up on your own? Or going contracting? I don’t know what you do so unsure if these are viable for you. Good luck x