Using a disabled loo.....

[countrymousesussex]

This is a weird one that I’m genuinely curious about, and it’s a situation I’ve found myself in a few times.

Being on maternity leave with a 4.5 month old, I am often out with the buggy. We live in a village so often am in a different town/village when shopping, running errands etc - so not close enough to nip home.

Today I was in a market town about 7 miles from our village, shopping. I was dying for the loo so I went into the baby change room at Tesco to find that there was no loo inside it. I then tried to get the buggy into the ladies but there was no room. Someone saw me struggling and said why didn’t I just use the disabled one as there was no one waiting and it has space for the buggy. I didn’t feel right doing this, so trekked in and out of coffee shops till I found one with a large enough loo to get the buggy in.

Was I being ridiculous to not use the disabled? In our village cafe I often leave the buggy in the main room while I nip to the loo and ask one of the girls that works there to keep an eye on the baby, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that anywhere else.

Parents with buggies, what would you have done?

Disabled people, would you have been really annoyed if I’d used the disabled?

I’m just interested to know if I was being a doughnut!

I agree, I would worry about a pram being stolen and have never managed to get jeans on and off while holding a baby, only PJs

They are accessible toilets, NOT for disabled people only. Anyone can use them if necessary. Use them if you need to op.

As for posters saying they can’t wait, well what if there was another disabled person in there? You’d still have to wait a minute. Also, many people have urgency at times, and need to use the loo...not only people who are disabled.

We have an accessible toilet at work, but only one disabled person out of 40 colleagues (3 loos in total). Should we all avoid using the accessible loo at all times, in case this one lady needs a pee at some point? Ffs.

Be considerate to each other, and share and share alike I say.

I’ve used the disabled toilet many times with my pram it’s the only way I can use the toilet out and about.

(Sounding like a broken record, but) what on earth stops you leaving the pram outside?

Taking the pram in is optional. I totally get that it is a nice option. I much prefer it myself. I also really enjoy not having to pick up my DD if I don't have to. However, as an able-bodied person, I can leave the pram outside. I can pick up DD. It may be rather unpleasant, but I can do it. I can also arrange to put on a sling, or hold her hands, so she doesn't touch things I dislike while I'm using the loo.

I have friends who do not have these options, including a friend whose daughter is now well past toddler-hood, but who still had to manage all of these issues of baby changes and accessible toilets, while in a wheelchair.

If you really think you can't manage, think again.

I'm disabled and sure, it's annoying when the disabled loo is also the babychange and I have to wait for ages, but it's not the mum's fault! if you've got buggy that won't fit in the ladies you don't have many choices. The disabled loo almost always also has a babychange sign on it (because it's the only toilet mums and dads can use). So it is really there for parents too as a multipurpose accessible toilet - whether it should be or not is another matter, but that isn't the parents' fault it's the shops!
Also, you're likely to have to wait longer for another disabled person (For obvious reasons, transferring etc) than for a mum doing a quick wee.
Finally, ime half the public disabled toilets I've come across aren't suitable for wheelchair use anyway (doors that don't swing both ways, toilet paper too far away etc, only space for wheelchair at the wrong angle to the toilet). Some serious work needed in this country on our toilet situations, for parents and disabled people. I speak as both those things.

As others have said , they aren't toilets just for the disabled , they are toilets designed so that people who are disabled can use them

Sorry, how the hell can you hold a baby and go for a piss simultaneously? Am I missing something?!

The amount of people on this thread saying able bodied is frustrating . Not all disabilities involve mobility being impaired . There are many many many invisible disabilities that require a person to need these toilets

I would have used it, and used to take DS 7 in with me in the disabled child trolley because there was no other loo I could use. Now some bastard's nicked the last disabled child trolley. 😠

I agree that there should be more buggy accessible loos.

I had twins. Double buggy would often not fit into the loos, let alone into a cubicle. And I can't imagine how you would be able to use a loo while holding two newborns.

I would of course have let any disabled people ahead of me in the queue (although I never actually encountered a queue), but I used the disabled during that time and didn't feel bad about it. The ladies loos were inaccessible to me, so I used the accessible loo.

Have any of you tried to change a tampon because you are bleeding everywhere while holding a non walking toddler? It’s impossible. There do need to be family toilets in public spaces. But until then, it’s certainly better to use the accessible toilet? I have bladder issues and very heavy periods. I have to be able to use the toilet when I’m out with my toddler.

To those people saying that they have just propped the door open with their buggy I think it’s pretty appalling that this is one of the suggested alternatives. We might be ‘able bodied’ but are we not entitled to some dignity and privacy when using the bathroom too? Also, taking a baby out of the buggy is fine if baby is up and happy to be taken in and out but there are many times it’s taken me and hour or two of walking around in circles to get my LO to sleep in the earlier days and she would immediately wake if I unstrapped her. I would have rather sold my soul than had to struggle with her screaming for hours more due to the fact I had disturbed her because I needed a quick wee. Might sound silly to some not so fresh from the new baby experience but little things like this can change days from being ‘manageable’ to hell on earth. We’re planning number 2 soon and I’ll be using the disabled toilets when I need to with him/her too.

It’s not that I couldn’t get the buggy through the doorframe, it’s that immediately in front of the door once opened are the sinks, then a sharp right hand turn to the cubicles. Once through the door the end of the buggy abutted the sinks, and I couldn’t then get through without somehow climbing over the buggy! I should have tried to go backwards, I now realise, but there was a very cross looking lady behind me sighing and if I’d blocked the door with her stuck behind my buggy while I went for a wee she may have exploded!

My OH just suggested that next time I leave the buggy outside (removing purse/phone/keys etc), take the foldable changing mat into the ladies and lay her down on the floor on that, holding her in place with my feet so she can’t roll away.

Now I feel like an eejit for not thinking about that!

Honestly, I can’t wait till she’s old enough to just stand there while I wee. Atm it’s that in betweeny stage where she’s not little enough to hold and wee one handed, but not big enough to understand not to lick the floor etc.

Whoever suggested the sling, I may dig out the old Baby Bjorn to take with me just in case. She’s hilarious in it though; considers it on a par with being held in terms of restriction and frantically fights to get out, growling like a feral dog (she’s not much of a crier) 😂

countrymouse hate to break it to you but there's no stage where they stand there while you wee. They go from licking the floor to unlocking the door and bolting, leaving you to sprint out with your pants around your ankles. Voice of bitter experience here.

I use a disabled toilet as I have very heavy periods and frequently need to wash myself down in the loo . Also have to use catheters to pee, which means I need a bit more room - need a mirror , space to put down bags , sink to wash hands before and after etc .

I did get a fancy card that I can flash in toilet queues and shops that says something along the lines of : ‘This person has a medical condition and needs immediate access to a toilet if possible . Please be considerate .’ I’m too scared to use it most of the time though !! Think Bladder and Bowel foundation do the cards for free along with a radar key :

OP would you really be comfortable laying your baby down on a toilet floor? Even if the baby stays on the mat you will have to presumably fold the mat and put it back into your nappy bag covered in whatever it made contact with.

I just blocked the door and the view of me in full flow withDS’s buggy and used the standard loos.

@tinyteatime - you, erm, hold the baby? And you wee?

Personally, I hold my baby with my arms. And I wee out of my ladyparts. The two areas function independently.

Then you blot yourself off with one hand, and then you flush the loo, and then you leave.

DD is a sight heftier than the OP's baby, and this is how I've done it since she was tiny. So have all the other mums I know.

And what about people without babies or toddlers using the baby changing room? This has happened to me twice, once the man pissed all over the floor, 😷 the second time it was the in-store cleaner using it and he shouted at me, for wanting to use it to change my baby!

I think you did the right thing not using the disabled toilet. I've had three DC and never used a disabled toilet because I had a buggy, always used the end toilet and propped the pram in the door so I could see DC. Never had a woman moan or try sneak a peak at me on the toilet.

My DC are older, and now I actually have to use the disabled toilet as was diagnosed with colitis three years ago. I am greatful to find an empty disabled toilet free whenever I need to use one.

This again?!
Yes I take my pram into the disabled toilet and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I'm not going to be leaving a toilet door open or forcing a huge pram into a cubicle - which it wouldn't anyway.

This style of sling (there are loads of makes) is brilliant for this situation. You stick on like a sash and pop the baby in and it gives you more hands.

factsoflife - so what on earth is stopping you taking the baby out of the pram like everyone else?!

This is really not a normal thing to do.

I get that some people panic when they have a baby and somehow feel the baby is glued to the pram. But come on. Just pick the baby up!

How can I pick the baby up when I am bleeding down my legs, blood everywhere, maternity pad soaked. Need to change it from the bag, take the sticky strip off and clean myself... but have no hands free, the baby is screaming from being woken up, but apparently I have a choice Oh do fuck off. The toilets here will literally not fit a pram in the room, you would have to leave it in the shop or cafe without supervision - no thanks. I take the only option I have!

How on earth can you hold a baby while changing a tampon/pad?