Using a disabled loo.....

[countrymousesussex]

This is a weird one that I’m genuinely curious about, and it’s a situation I’ve found myself in a few times.

Being on maternity leave with a 4.5 month old, I am often out with the buggy. We live in a village so often am in a different town/village when shopping, running errands etc - so not close enough to nip home.

Today I was in a market town about 7 miles from our village, shopping. I was dying for the loo so I went into the baby change room at Tesco to find that there was no loo inside it. I then tried to get the buggy into the ladies but there was no room. Someone saw me struggling and said why didn’t I just use the disabled one as there was no one waiting and it has space for the buggy. I didn’t feel right doing this, so trekked in and out of coffee shops till I found one with a large enough loo to get the buggy in.

Was I being ridiculous to not use the disabled? In our village cafe I often leave the buggy in the main room while I nip to the loo and ask one of the girls that works there to keep an eye on the baby, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that anywhere else.

Parents with buggies, what would you have done?

Disabled people, would you have been really annoyed if I’d used the disabled?

I’m just interested to know if I was being a doughnut!

It's not a pissing contest (pun intended) as to who can be most self-sacrificing.

If your medical issue means that you struggle with normal toilets, you're perfectly entitled to use the accessible one.

I have no option but to use a disabled loo. In some cases they double up as baby change.
But whilst many parents feel it ok to use disabled loos, I would never use baby change loos . I would get torn to shreds by parents..
So while parents use disabled loos it's not a two way thing as we daren't use the parent room.

@Chouetted

I never said I was more self-sacrificing, where did you see that in my post? I said if you aren’t disabled you shouldn’t have a radar key. Getting someone in and out of a wheelchair can be hard work, I’ve come out of a bathroom with my mum in her chair to mums with Prams annoyed we took up too much time... I’ve had a very able bodied women scream at me for using a radar key to open the Waterloo bathroom for my mum as she shouldn’t have to ‘pay to piss’ and demand I let her in.

@MorganKitten I thought you were implying that your medical issue entitled you to use a disabled loo, but because you weren't "disabled enough" you never would.

It's a common trap that a lot of people fall into, mostly because the wheelchair is the universal symbol of disability, and I thought that you were one of them, that's all.

Buying and using a radar key just because you can is crap (no pun intended) really though isn't it. What else do you feel you're entitled to just because you can get away with it?

@Chouetted
I thought you were one of them

One of them? Wow.

@morgankitten Sorry. It's a bit late for my grammar. What pronoun should I have used?

One of them? Wow.

As in 'one of the 'people' who are entitled to use the toilet but mistakenly believe they're not allowed as they have the 'wrong' kind of disability I imagine...? No wow or offence needed.

@Cryalot2 - it doesn't have bars, but if you can manage without then I don't understand why you can't use a baby change toilet? If it's an emergency and you need the bigger toilet then just use it.
A random old guy used the parents room toilet the other day. Nobody said anything, we just assumed he needed it, then heard his wife telling him off outside so I guess he could have used the gents, but it doesn't matter.

That's kind of the point of the word "accessible" - for those who cannot get into the smaller spaces.

NO! In the context of toilet facilities, “Accessible” has NOTHING to do with the extra space. It refers to making toilet facilities accessible to disabled people who wouldn’t otherwise be able to use them. It tells you that the toilet itself will be higher than standard, the sink will be lower, etc, etc.

As many previous posters have pointed out... the toilets are designed for those with accessibility needs, not disability needs.

As for the OP's original question, mums with buggies absolutely have accessibility needs and should not feel ashamed to use accessible toilets.

Banging my head against a fucking wall here but just google “accessible toilet meaning” and the very first result will tell you exactly what they are.

Here, I’ve even done it for you to save your entitled little fingers: g.co/kgs/YWX2LW

“Accessible” has simply replaced the word “Disabled” in the context of toilet facilities. Nothing else changed!

FFS.

I’m not sure anyone is suggesting using a disabled toilet when baby change facilities are available. What they are saying is when the baby changing table is in the disabled toilet they use it, they do not change their tiny baby, with a developing immune system on a filthy floor. I do not think that is unreasonable behaviour. Ideally the facilities would be separate but if the baby change table is in the disabled toilet then that is where it has to be used . Some of the suggestions to avoid doing this are simply ludicrous and I don’t for one minute believe people actually do them , they are just arguing for the sake of it.

This thread is getting ridiculous..surely people have some common sense, in which toilet should be used!!

I am disabled, and like I said previously..my bladder being so weak, when I need to go, it's extremely urgent!! Which ever toilet is free, I would use..even if my last resort was a men's toilet! I would bloody use it!! Anything to save the embarrassment of having an accident in a busy store!!

The other week while in Sainsbury's, my baby vomited up a whole bottle of milk, while in his pram. I could of taken him into the disabled toilets, with me to sort out the disastrous mess..but knowing it was going to be at least a ten minute job, changing, cleaning all the pram down etc, I went into the ladies. Knowing full well potentially their could be someone just like me that urgently needs the toilet, and it not being available for a long time!!

It's just bloody common sense!!!!!!

"As many previous posters have pointed out... the toilets are designed for those with accessibility needs, not disability needs."

googling has brought up this info sheet regarding accessible toilets.
It's very clear that accessible toilets are provided to accommodate the needs of disabled people.

Anyone can use the disabled toilet...it's for anyone's use.

Only anyone who is a selfish cunt

As many previous posters have pointed out... the toilets are designed for those with accessibility needs, not disability needs

So why are the baby change facilities in there? Because parents need more space even if the child isn't in a buggy you can't change a nappy in a tiny normal cubicle.

I am not saying that it is right that disabled and baby changing facilities are in the same cubicles a lot of the time, but until that changes parents will be able to use accessible loos. Of course they should give priority to people with disabilities but it is wrong to say they can't use them.

I am not one of those entitled parents, I get very annoyed at the buggy pusher on a bus who won't make way for a person in a wheelchair, but accessible loos are for anyone who needs them, not just those with a specified disability. Unless they are labelled as such and the baby change is elsewhere.

Sorry I have just realised I read that quoted comment the wrong way round!

...but accessible loos are for anyone who needs them, not just those with a specified disability.

Why are you saying this? Are you being wilfully belligerent or just ignorant?

Why not just have a look at any of the multiple links already posted which explain exactly what “Accessible Toilet” means?

I’m absolutely aghast that so many people on here have decided that they will interpret “Accessible” to mean what they want it to mean rather than what it ACTUALLY means, which has been explained time after time!

I never said anything about people with hidden disabilities. I am talking about the posters saying that are available to everyone. And no I don’t think being disabled makes me special, far bloody from it. My life is barely worth living but hey who cares that people who have a choice (and I am talking about people who don’t have any sort of disability) chose to use something I or other people who don’t have the choice just because they can.

With regards to 'choice', a parent of a child has the following choices if the pram doesn't fit in the regular ladies toilets....

• Leave your baby in the pram on the other side of wall unsupervised.
• Hold your baby whilst simultaneously trying to lock the door, pull your trousers down, wipe, pull them up again, unlock the door, and wash your hands.
• Use an accessible toilet if no one else is waiting for it.

Anyone arguing for the first two options is cuckoo and shouldn't be on a parenting site

I use ds's radar key when he is with me because I cannot leave him on his own unsupervised and at 13 he is too old to be taken in the women's toilet. When he was younger I used to take his buggy/sn buggy into the ladies and use the end toilet with the door slightly open so that I could see or hear him.

It's an accessible toilet, rather than solely disabled. That means anyone who cannot access the standard toilets should be able to use it.

There should be more accessible toilets, as clearly there aren't enough from the complaints on this thread. And more women's toilets than men's, since we take longer to use them, and often have children with us to deal with as well. None of this is the fault of the toilet users. It's systemic ableism/sexism.

I am invisibly disabled and usually use the accessible toilet.

However, if you can use a sling, rather than a buggy, that would make more sense for everyone, as you would be able to access multiple other spaces that way anyway; toilets, buses, stairs, etc. And then you wouldn't need to use that space.

If there’s no queue I really don’t see what the issue is other than some people being overly virtuous.

I am pleased to see that more and more signs which clearly state ‘not all disabilities are visible’ being put on the door of disabled toilets.

Probably because all the virtuous people thinking they were being misused!

Magickingdomdizzy - why can't you use a sling?

It's an accessible toilet, rather than solely disabled

As has been explained several hundred times on this thread, its accessible for the purpose of being usable for disabled people. That's why it's got the disabled symbol on the door (I also have invisible disabilities but take no issue with the symbll).

If there’s no queue I really don’t see what the issue is other than some people being overly virtuous.

Just because theres no queue when you go in doesn't mean someone won't need to use it in the meantime

I tried going for a wee whilst holding my baby at the weekend after reading this thread. I couldn’t manage it. It was going ok until I got to pulling my jeans back up and doing the button up, so I had to put baby by the sink (or leave the loo with my jeans half round my bum). What I have never, ever understood is why they build big baby change cubicles but don’t just stick a loo in there too for the parents.