Using a disabled loo.....

[countrymousesussex]

This is a weird one that I’m genuinely curious about, and it’s a situation I’ve found myself in a few times.

Being on maternity leave with a 4.5 month old, I am often out with the buggy. We live in a village so often am in a different town/village when shopping, running errands etc - so not close enough to nip home.

Today I was in a market town about 7 miles from our village, shopping. I was dying for the loo so I went into the baby change room at Tesco to find that there was no loo inside it. I then tried to get the buggy into the ladies but there was no room. Someone saw me struggling and said why didn’t I just use the disabled one as there was no one waiting and it has space for the buggy. I didn’t feel right doing this, so trekked in and out of coffee shops till I found one with a large enough loo to get the buggy in.

Was I being ridiculous to not use the disabled? In our village cafe I often leave the buggy in the main room while I nip to the loo and ask one of the girls that works there to keep an eye on the baby, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that anywhere else.

Parents with buggies, what would you have done?

Disabled people, would you have been really annoyed if I’d used the disabled?

I’m just interested to know if I was being a doughnut!

Yanb hugely u.

I have used the disabled toilet in the past as it was impossible to use the regular facilities with a buggy due to cramped spaces, even worse with a double. It's insane to hunt in and out of shops for another toilet as you would have been in and out in the time it took you to find one. That said;

I do think disabled toilet facilities shouldn't be the go to place for baby change. But I appreciate it's often where the largest space is so... rock and a hard place. Buildings just aren't designed to be as user friendly when it comes to toilet facilities.

Our local Macdonalds and Burger King have disabled only facilities if you like. The men's toilet I assume is just a bunch of urinals as the sign for the ladies is ladies/disabled/baby change. One toilet with all the handrails, low height sink and a fold down changing table.

It's a blooming nightmare because who has 'priority' over the toilet space? Technically no one. And yes, there is the line of thought that people who need the disabled/accessible toilet often might need it due to urgency reasons, but they should also have a back up plan in case another legitimate user is already occupying it. Whilst you rarely see a queue for disabled toilets it does stand to reason that since there is usually only one such facility available in most places, there is a higher likelihood of the facility being in use.

If I were in a shop where the option was regular toilets or disabled/baby change, I'd likely use the multifunction loo as chances are I'd be changing a baby at the same time.

If the baby change table had been supplied in the regular toilet space then no, I wouldn't. Even with a side by side double buggy, I chose the far end cubicle, pulled the buggy right up to the door, in it if the buggy was narrow enough and wee with the door open but blocked by buggy. Very little if anything is seen but I appreciate that method doesn't sit well with everyone.

Either way, you are going to inconvenience someone. Use the regular toilet and chances are someone will moan about a pushchair taking up space. Use a disabled toilet and a disabled person might grumble that it's not appropriate you hogging the only toilet they can use. Use a dual purpose baby change/disabled toilet and incur the wrath of someone else for the company daring to insist the two only need one space.

Unfortunately the more the term 'accessible' is bandied about then the harder it makes the use of such facilities for everyone.

Ultimately a disabled person - visible or not - will not often have the choice of which toilet facility they can use so I would always try to avoid if another toilet was available nearby. But if there was nothing nearby and I was desperate then I'd be in and out as quickly as possible.

'think they are for people for whom the standard loo is not suitable. So, yes, I think this includes a parent with a buggy.'

No, it doesn't Imagine if everyone out with a child in a buggy did this?!

They are for disabled people. Park your push chair in the ladies and go in a cubicle, take the dc in with you if you're too worried to leave.

Park your push chair in the ladies and go in a cubicle, take the dc in with you if you're too worried to leave

The ladies loo in question was too small for the OP to get in.

So disabled people and allies fight, protest, beg, petition for disabled access toilets (for years) in order that they can actually live their lives outside of their home, but somehow they’re actually for everyone??

I do have an issue with baby changing facilities being in the same room as a disabled toilet though, as some parents seem to take absolute lifetime changing their babies nappies!

And a bin full of dirty nappies mean the rooms stink.

Sorry, not read the thread, but when I was out and about with a buggy and a newborn I just picked up the newborn and went into the normal toilet. I think that is better TBH, and I don't see the issue?

I am disabled and sometimes I use ordinary toilets and disabled access ones dependent on circumstances.
It would not bother me at all that someone with a baby using the facilities at all.
Also not all disabilities are visible so how can anyone judge who should or should not use them.
As other pps have mentioned the toilets are disabled access not exclusive to disabled people.
Some disabled toilets have baby changing facilities combined(i.e. fold down changing table) which is a great idea IMO.

I have 2 children a toddler who is still potty training and a baby. We frequently go to a large zoo near where we live. Most of the people there are families, there is a soft play centre and a large outdoor play park. My point is, it is surely marketing itself towards people with young children?

The toilets are in a building that also houses the cafe, so you go in through one set of doors and then there is another set on which it clearly states 'No buggies past this point'. There is then a door to a single disabled toilet and further down the corridor doors to the ladies and the gents. I always push my buggy in through the 'no buggy' doors and into the disabled toilet. I feel mortified every time, but honestly don't know what else to do? My daughter cannot climb onto the toilet by herself and needs help wiping. I can barely fit my buggy down the corridor where I'm not supposed to be anyway. My baby weighs 24 pounds and there is no way I can carry him into the ladies with my toddler and fit us all into a cubicle and keep hold of him while lifting her onto the loo (or possibly change her out of wet/pooey pants).

I surely cannot be the only bloody parent with a baby and a toddler who visits this attraction??? Why can't places aimed families just be better designed? Then we wouldn't need to take up time in a disabled toilet and we wouldn't have to feel so guilty and embarrassed about it!

@NameChangeSameRage Those sound like good reasons for using a disabled loo. As does a broken leg. No need to feel bad!

As a wheelchair user who last year wet myself when the first disabled loo I came across (visiting a new city, urgency issues) was taken by someone with a buggy, attitudes on this thread make me sick.

And as an aside, Part M of the building code states baby changing facilities should be seperate from disabled toilets if at all possible.

If you’re a parent with a buggy, campaign for your own bastard toilets and stop using the hard fought for disabled access ones.

Same for wheelchair spaces on public transport.

Didiplanthis I was at the Maritime Museum in Greenwich the other day and I noticed that the disabled / accessible toilet had a sign on the door saying “Please remember that not all disabilities are visible” which I thought was brilliant. Everywhere should have one!

Unfortunately - and I don’t know what the answer is - that a number of buildings have space for one loo that is “accesible” in that is big enough for acces with a wheelchair but it is also the only look in the building.

Our public loos were shut by the council. We have a Costa with one large loo and a library with the same. Obviously saying those loos should only be for people with disabilities isnt going to work.

But of course and always if there’s another option the accessible loo should remain free.

Urgh awful typos, you get the gist

The ladies loo in question was too small for the OP to get in.

Where did you get that from?

I fucking hate the trend for putting baby changing facilities in the disabled access loo.
I really think it’s a feminist issue, how many men would you see tying themselves in knots trying to change their child but also worrying about making a person with a disability wait for the toilet?

Planners need to make sure that cubicles are large enough for pushchairs or those wall seat things are available for babies who are older.
Many a time I’ve had a wee with the cubicle door open and a the pram wedged in or carrying my DC in a sling (tricky for wiping!).
Disabled people shouldn’t have to wait for able bodied toilet users and women with young children (because, 9 times out of 10 it is a woman) should be able to go for a wee/crap/change their san pro in a comfortable manner.

Viva la public bog revolution!

Many shops now call 'disabled' toilets 'accessible' toilets.
Some even go as far as having a sign on the door saying 'not every disability is visible'.
If you cannot use standard toilet cubicles for whatever reason you need to use the accessible toilet.
I don't understand how anyone can fail to see that.

How daft of you , I always use the disabled loo when I have the buggy with me.
They are actually accessible toilets and are there to be used by any person who can't use the normal toilets. You can't exactly leave your baby outside the toilets alone!

Sarah

From the OP saying If there is any feasible way for me to get the buggy into the ladies then I always do that - even if it means leaving the buggy by the sink while I have the quickest wee on the planet and watch the wheels under the door

I think as a one off it's fine.
But if 12 people use it for 5 minutes each as a one off, that room is tied up for an hour. And every single one of them has a good excuse why their special circumstances meant they just had to use it.

So disabled people and allies fight, protest, beg, petition for disabled access toilets (for years) in order that they can actually live their lives outside of their home, but somehow they’re actually for everyone??

Exactly this. If it’s just so impossible for parents, why aren’t they campaigning for change? What did they do before disabled loos were a thing?

Having fought so hard to get them, disabled people are now having to go to court to fight for the right to have access to them instead of being overruled by entitled buggy users. When we do complain we’re told we just have to learn to share. 🙄

Most disabled toilets around my area have a baby change unit in them

Tell you what op, next time you're in the car just use the disabled spaces it'll be so much easier for you, I'm sure most people with buggies think they have just as much need as those disabled people.

Maybe make a disabled person wait if you're on the bus and you dont want to collapse the buggy?

Disabled toilets are for disabled people. There are hidden disabilities yes but that isn't the case here.

They are actually accessible toilets and are there to be used by any person who can't use the normal toilets
They are actually not.

jacques, she nowhere says she cannot get into the ladies' loo.

Obviously, like everyone else, there may be times she can't bring the buggy in.

But I don't see anywhere where she says she herself could not fit in with her baby?