Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using a disabled loo.....

368 replies

countrymousesussex · 12/04/2019 19:10

This is a weird one that I’m genuinely curious about, and it’s a situation I’ve found myself in a few times.

Being on maternity leave with a 4.5 month old, I am often out with the buggy. We live in a village so often am in a different town/village when shopping, running errands etc - so not close enough to nip home.

Today I was in a market town about 7 miles from our village, shopping. I was dying for the loo so I went into the baby change room at Tesco to find that there was no loo inside it. I then tried to get the buggy into the ladies but there was no room. Someone saw me struggling and said why didn’t I just use the disabled one as there was no one waiting and it has space for the buggy. I didn’t feel right doing this, so trekked in and out of coffee shops till I found one with a large enough loo to get the buggy in.

Was I being ridiculous to not use the disabled? In our village cafe I often leave the buggy in the main room while I nip to the loo and ask one of the girls that works there to keep an eye on the baby, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that anywhere else.

Parents with buggies, what would you have done?

Disabled people, would you have been really annoyed if I’d used the disabled?

I’m just interested to know if I was being a doughnut!

OP posts:
StripeyChina · 12/04/2019 21:04

It should be common sense.
I am disabled. I have a blue badge.
But I'm not in a wheelchair. So, I never take the nearest space when parking, cos someone needs it more than me.
CAN you use a disabled loo, if you don't see a disabled person waiting and you have a higher need (buggy) and you are really quick - yes.
But its better not to if you can avoid it. They're for disabled folk really.

OP you sound thoughtful and would probably not 'abuse' it. Others will.

JacquesHammer · 12/04/2019 21:04

I then tried to get the buggy into the ladies but there was no room

Bibijayne · 12/04/2019 21:04

Went to Japan last year, they had handy baby seats in larger boothes in both the ladies and gents, so you could have a baby in the cubicle of you were out and about. Wish they had them here

Original poster
countrymousesussex · 12/04/2019 21:05

Okkkkk, I didn’t realise that this would be so polarising! I’m glad that I didn’t use the disabled loos after all.

Re carrying her into the ladies, I absolutely did that when she was a nice floppy newborn. Now, however, she’s 16lb and ridiculously wriggly; as soon as she’s out of the pram she’ll be pitching left and right to see stuff and want to be put on the floor (not a fan of being held!). I sadly stopped being able to wee with her on my lap ages ago - maybe I’m just not quite coordinated enough to do the whole wiping/jeans up bit while attempting to restrain her!

OP posts:
Yabbers · 12/04/2019 21:06

Why can't places aimed families just be better designed?
I take it you have spoken to the Zoo and suggested it.

JacquesHammer · 12/04/2019 21:06

The newest big shopping centre near here has the right idea.

They have ladies and gents. Then two changing places loos, a number (maybe 4 but I can’t recall) of large accessible loos, then a number of “family rooms” with loos and baby changing.

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2019 21:06

Yes - she tried to get the buggy in.

Not the baby.

It is pretty simple. You take the baby out of the buggy. Yes?

HoustonBess · 12/04/2019 21:06

The other thing that really gets me is that baby change rooms don't specify on the door whether there's a toilet in there or not. Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn't.

If you're out with a pram and need to go and it's in use, you can be waiting outside needing the loo without knowing if there is one in there at all.

JacquesHammer · 12/04/2019 21:07

It is pretty simple. You take the baby out of the buggy. Yes?

I think the OP has just addressed that, yes?

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2019 21:09

Cross post, sorry, country.

It's really hard when they wriggle! Is she past coping with a sling at all? I admit I hated slings. The age when they are old enough to be mobile but not old enough to stand up is really hard. I did lots of toys and distractions. I do get why it is hard, but if you keep the baby in the buggy, it will only be harder later on when you're dealing with one who wants to walk and run and hasn't learned mummy needs private time on the loo!

JacquesHammer · 12/04/2019 21:10

I’m involved currently in a local campaign to get public toilets back in the town.

The only option we have is a shared space with something else which leaves us with the option of having one toilet in the space.

We are designing it as a changing places loo complete with hoist, but there will only be one.

To my mind whilst not ideal, it’s better than having no facilities which is the alternative.

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2019 21:10

jacques, no, I don't think she has.

minisoksmakehardwork · 12/04/2019 21:10

@QueenArseClangers - you are absolutely right about it being a feminist issue. How many mens toilets have a baby change in them? As I said upthread in my experience it is always the women's toilets which are multipurpose.

saraclara · 12/04/2019 21:10

Disabled toilets aren't comparable with disabled parking spaces or wheelchair spaces on a bus. The toilet can be used (in desperation) by an able bodied person in a couple of minutes. The likelihood of a disabled person turning up a few seconds after that person has gone in and not being able to wait for a minute or so is very small.

A disabled parking spot is likely to be used for an hour or more (once my disabled husband and I couldn't find a space and had to come home), and an able bodied person taking up a public transport place means the disabled person can't travel at all

Maddiemademe · 12/04/2019 21:11

I have had to start using a wheelchair for 6 months now and will be in it for the rest of my life. Not only have I lost everything, my job, my friends, my independence and my dignity (severe incontinence) but now I don’t even have use of a toilet that is designed to help me actually get my wheelchair inside and turn, get myself onto the toilet etc without having to wait for able bodied people with absolutely zero idea or compassion. I pray no one else has to go through a sudden severe life changing disability as people’s attitudes are shocking!

Boysey45 · 12/04/2019 21:11

I think there needs to be more public toilet provison for all in this country.The lack of public loos is diabolical for able bodied/disabled/ those with buggies/little kids etc.

Its not good enough in this day and age for people to have to resort to weeing behind bushes etc.

SnuggyBuggy · 12/04/2019 21:11

I don't see what else you can do in this situation

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 12/04/2019 21:13

Your buggy sounds like it’s made for dog walking not shopping. If you can’t get it through a door what use is it? Surely you can just get a baby carrier and pop the baby in it while you pee?

We use the disabled loos for ds, and honestly I wouldn’t mind if you used them. I know I’m supposed to be outraged but I just don’t really care. Do TRY to work out how to pee and park etc without needing special facilities etc. It will make you much freer in the long run.

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2019 21:16

@saraclara, if that were true, why would there be disabled parking spaces in car parks where you can only park for 10 or 20 minutes?

I think this is a feminist issue, in that there should be far more changing facilities. However, it's not ok for someone to take up the disabled loo because they don't enjoy picking up a heavy baby.

Bibijayne · 12/04/2019 21:16

These are the seats they had in Japan. My husband said they had a them.in most gents too:

images.app.goo.gl/LoACFBe5tCBzvFqy9

Yabbers · 12/04/2019 21:17

Disabled toilets aren't comparable with disabled parking spaces or wheelchair spaces on a bus. The toilet can be used (in desperation) by an able bodied person in a couple of minutes. The likelihood of a disabled person turning up a few seconds after that person has gone in and not being able to wait for a minute or so is very small.

Exactly the same argument made with parking. There’s just so many of those spaces. What’s the chances they are all needed? How many disabled people are at the supermarket at night? Well, it was chucking it down and I only popped in for a paper......

harrypotterfan1604 · 12/04/2019 21:17

I’ve used the disabled toilet many times with my pram it’s the only way I can use the toilet out and about. I also used it when heavily pregnant, I was massive and some cubicles and tiny and I struggled to get around the doors in my last few weeks as all the doors open inwards so when your super pregnant and huge there’s just no space

Boysey45 · 12/04/2019 21:18

I wouldn't leave a nice pram or pushchair by itself ever. One got stolen recently from the health centre near me.

Tinyteatime · 12/04/2019 21:20

I use the disabled loo when I can’t get the buggy in the ladies and there is n other option nearby. It drives me nuts that baby change don’t have loos in. Your options are to take baby into loo with you and lie them on the floor? Or leave baby outside unattended, or piss yourself, which postpartum is a very real possibility.

saraclara · 12/04/2019 21:20

I've never been to a car park where you can only park for 10-20 minutes.
@SarahAndQuack

But whatever, an able bodied person parking in a disabled space causes far more inconvenience than someone with a buggy nipping for a wee, when there's no alternative.

My husband and I dealt with lots of issues living life with his disability, and the toilet one was the least of them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread