Using a disabled loo.....

[countrymousesussex]

This is a weird one that I’m genuinely curious about, and it’s a situation I’ve found myself in a few times.

Being on maternity leave with a 4.5 month old, I am often out with the buggy. We live in a village so often am in a different town/village when shopping, running errands etc - so not close enough to nip home.

Today I was in a market town about 7 miles from our village, shopping. I was dying for the loo so I went into the baby change room at Tesco to find that there was no loo inside it. I then tried to get the buggy into the ladies but there was no room. Someone saw me struggling and said why didn’t I just use the disabled one as there was no one waiting and it has space for the buggy. I didn’t feel right doing this, so trekked in and out of coffee shops till I found one with a large enough loo to get the buggy in.

Was I being ridiculous to not use the disabled? In our village cafe I often leave the buggy in the main room while I nip to the loo and ask one of the girls that works there to keep an eye on the baby, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that anywhere else.

Parents with buggies, what would you have done?

Disabled people, would you have been really annoyed if I’d used the disabled?

I’m just interested to know if I was being a doughnut!

As a wheelchair user..

The disabled toilets are there for anyone who needs more space than average to go to the toilet - if thats because you have a buggy or pregnancy means you have extra space needs or because you use a wheelchair or because you have IBS and cannot wait... fine, use it.

If its because you simply don't fancy queuing for the normal loos (not 'cannot wait' but 'don't want to wait') or because you don't want someone hearing you poo.. no, don't use it.

Do us a favour though, particularly parents with toddlers.. don't leave the floor soaking wet, you might have walked in there but some of us have to roll in and all that is on the floor goes on our wheels, and then on our hands. Dry the floor before you fuck off, oh and if you've moved the red pull cord so a kid can't yank it, replace it when you go. Ta :)

@supersara @psychicoctopus
Pedantic much? There was nothing remotely entitled in my comments. I am neither a mum nor someone with a disability, but I do have to manage the use of an accessible toilet. I will not turn away a mother in need, but I will prioritise those with accessible/ilty (in the legal sense of the word) needs.

The point of my post is that I have been instructed to permit anyone to use the accessible toilet, which I think is wrong.

@havingtochangeusernameagain
No worries :)

So many people saying "they should be separate"

And yet nobody is out there campaigning for it like disabled people did in order to get them.

I've been thinking of buying a radar key as my IBS is normally fine but when I have episode I can have little warning and I need the loo right then. The pain can be awful & I can't talk, my DH knows when it kicks in as he'll try & get me home if he can. I'd always try and use a normal loo first but I do have a fear of not having access to a loo & try & plan when going out. I normally have a mental note of the nearest Sainsbury's as their toilets tend to be well looked after with loo roll! I'm terrified of going out & not having access to a loo but I do worry if I used a disabled toilet or radar key I would be judged.

There is a serious lack of public toilets, there should be more facilities. Trying to find change for the loo used to drive me nuts would have to take cash out get change then get into the loo whilst trying not to poo myself Victoria station toilets is currently being upgraded & they've said they'll be free once complete hope the rest of the stations go that way. I curious to see how they update the layout as the disabled offering was pretty poor

How did people manage in the olden days, 80s, 70s, 60s....

Mothers managed to go out, and to the loo, with babies in tow.

Disabled people stayed in.

An 'accessable' toilet has a very strict meaning in law. It doesn't mean anyone with a big pram.

@Jux
You’re talking utter shit

Most people stayed in?? You telling me that a disabled person never went out ever before the 90s

Get a fucking grip.

And there isn’t a strict law. Again. Get a grip.

I could go with your argument if it want so utterly stupid!

Disabled people did not stay in. What a ridiculous assertion!!

There is no strict law around accessible toilets. I know several places near here where the only toilet facility available at all is an "accessible" one. One of those is a supermarket and the others are cafés.

What strict laws could possibly apply there? People either use the toilet or not, simple as that.

I think obviously even if baby change and disabled are merged someone with a disability should have priority. It’s tough when the baby change is in the disabled as I feel really under pressure to be quick as I’d hate to keep someone waiting.

Unfortunately lots of disabled loos are just used to bypass queues. I was queuing for the ladies the other day and every other person was going into the disabled (or accessible) toilet although maybe there were hidden disabilities.

I guess the ideal solution would be more accessible toilets but then sadly no one wants to pay for this.

I can assure you jux disabled people went out . I have no idea why you said that

Personally, if you’re desperate, going to be quick, no one is waiting for it and the ladies are almost impossible to use at that moment then I’d use it. You wouldn’t be hurting anyone in that situation. Obviously, if you are waiting but someone with a disability comes then I’d let them go first just because it was made for disabled people to use.

Thank you, but I do know quite a bit about children.
Yes disabled people went out less because transport, parking, and toilets among other things made it difficult, especially without help.
Now we have a more enlightened attitude and facilities are provided.
However we also still have prejudice, which leads to name calling and well meaning but misguided renaming of illnesses, conditions and disability until no one understands what they mean. Also people who think disabled people shouldn't have special treatment and can just wait, whist they take their child into the disabled toilet. Perhaps there should be parent and baby loos, some of them are. Meanwhile there is a legal obligation to provide toilets for disabled people, for the use of disabled people.

Mcdonalds have good loos and you don't have to be a customer. Use those.

I am not disabled but I do habe an arthritic condition which flares up from time to time and causes mobility issues. In such circumstances if the non disabled loos were say in a basement with stair access only and the disabled loo was on the ground floor, I would use the disabled loo.

Yas how would you know if a person was disabled?

Disabled people were often shipped off to institutions in the olden days...

@WiddlinDiddlin

I agree. It's for people who can't use the regular loo or can't wait. My friend's son has ASD and is terrified of the hand drier sound so she if she needs the loo (and she has to take him with her as he definitely can't be left) she uses the disabled loo. I think that's fine.

Asd, arthritis are disabling conditions. They and many others may be variable, may be invisible, don't confuse the issue.