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Original poster

Who should have their own room (2.5yrs on)

234 replies

SouthernNorthernGirl · 07/04/2019 09:49

I posted a couple of years ago, asking who should have their own room. 3DC with 2 bedrooms between them. One is a box room and one is a small double. The DCs's current ages are DS1 16yrs, DS2 10yrs and DD 6yrs.

Mainly, just about, the vote was for the boys to share, with a few suggestions to leave as is, and to leave few years to swap. I did do that, we haven't moved, and DS1 still does not want to swap to share with his brother.

To update a few things from the last post, DS1 is now at college. DS2 received his diagnosis and is ASD. DD does want her own room now (she didn't before)

We had hoped to move, however this hasn't happened and so it is what it is.

Any suggestions, or thoughts on whats fair would be helpful. I'm at a loss to make everyone happy Grin Shock

OP posts:
Original poster
SouthernNorthernGirl · 07/04/2019 11:02

Yes you did! You’ve just said it was fine ten and six years ago but not now

Exactly Confused Six years ago, when I had my third and last DC, we had plenty of space. We planned to move. House prices went up, and we now can't move afford to move. We can afford to house them though. There is a huge difference. I'm not sure them having to share a room is the same thing as not being able to afford to house them.

OP posts:
Bluelonerose · 07/04/2019 11:02

Op ds2 loves sharing a room and hates the days his brother stays at his dad's.
Ds1 just finds ds2 annoying (Not sure if it helps but my own db is 6 years younger than me. We never shared a room but he still used to annoy me) just in a sibling annoying way.
Tbf ds1 is pretty laid back about life in general and just goes with the flow.
The thing that pisses him off the most is when ds2 doesn't put the Xbox controller back on charge.
They don't argue though and generally get on well together.

IceRebel · 07/04/2019 11:05

Six years ago, when I had my third and last DC, we had plenty of space.

I don't think you can argue that was the case at all. 6 years ago you had 2 bedrooms and 5 family members. Even then it must have been a squeeze, as the 2 boys would have been sharing a box room aged 10 and 4.

ineedaholidaynow · 07/04/2019 11:06

How did you have plenty of space 6 years ago when you had your 3rd child? You had a 2 bedroom house, with one bedroom being a box room, I wouldn’t call that plenty of space with 3 children

yomellamoHelly · 07/04/2019 11:08

Can you put a room in the garden - an insulated shed type thing?
Could you use the attic space - put in a velux and a decent fold-down ladder?

Original poster
SouthernNorthernGirl · 07/04/2019 11:10

For those that are asking, I don't have any extra spaces - the loft can't be converted, although that would have been the ideal.

OP posts:
Blinkingblimey · 07/04/2019 11:13

Will ds1 most likely be going away to Uni at the end of College? I think you could do another 2 years with the current set up and then swap...that’s assuming ds1 will be heading off to Uni so only sharing when at home...

FrancisCrawford · 07/04/2019 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SouthernNorthernGirl · 07/04/2019 11:17

OK, could we stop with the whole 'can't afford my children' thing now please?
I can afford them, I explained up thread how they don't go without.
Six years ago, the space was enough with clever planning from ikea, the boys had plenty of space to fit in the small room. We had a goal to move (still do)
Where DH and I sleep is irrelevant. We have, since the last thread, sectioned off an area in the living room and have a little bedroom there for us. Not much different from a 3 bed house, no?

I'd understand slightly if I'd squeezed the 3 of them in the small room, and they were bloody miserable and unhappy. This isn't the case, so can we stop acting as though it is?

OP posts:
Original poster
SouthernNorthernGirl · 07/04/2019 11:19

I'm going to go back and RTFT again, I see a lot of helpful replies, and I'm sorry to those that have taken the time post them - I got side tracked as I felt like I had to explain how my children aren't hard done by, more than once as it kept getting disputed.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 07/04/2019 11:19

Six years ago, when I had my third and last DC, we had plenty of space.

It's a shame that children do that inconvenient growing up thing, isn't it?

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 07/04/2019 11:21

Your 16 year old needs a reality check. You sleep in the living room, there isn’t ‘ideal’ space. He needs to share and dd in on her own. How boxy is the box room? Could ds have a desk in there so when he’s studying the other 2 play in bigger room but he shares it sleep?

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 07/04/2019 11:21

My boys have 5 1/2 years between them and have always shared a room.

Original poster
SouthernNorthernGirl · 07/04/2019 11:23

It's a shame that children do that inconvenient growing up thing, isn't it?

Seriously? Are you choosing to just ignore the fact that I've said repeatedly we had/ still have a plan to move? just so that you can continue bleating on about the same thing?

OP posts:
Seaweed42 · 07/04/2019 11:27

Put the boys together. If your eldest doesn't like it, that'll assist him to move out and get his own place. You might get another year out of the two youngest being in the same room.
Children become Adults at age 18.
This 'I want him to feel it's his home for however long he wants it'.
Is this not about you try not to upset his feelings?
Maybe you hate the thoughts of him moving out, so you may feel you have to let him have his way. If you proceed like this your entire household will run by this eldest son.
If your daughter is the compliant one then she won't kick up a fuss or demand her rights. She'll learn that she has to do what the 'men' of the house want, they get priority.

cheaperthebetter · 07/04/2019 11:27

Do you have a separate dining room? I know some people who have made theirs into a bedroom, or have the funds to do the attic out and create that in to a bigger double and separate (room divider) for the boys?

ineedaholidaynow · 07/04/2019 11:28

Would it not have been sensible to have moved before the third child though? In my mind a 2 bedroom house would never be big enough for 3 children, although I like my own space so the thought of not having somewhere to retreat to may be colouring my judgement

PhilomenaButterfly · 07/04/2019 11:30

The boys should share because of their ages, they shouldn't have to share with a girl.

cheaperthebetter · 07/04/2019 11:30

Or do you have a garage that you could convert maybe?

Bookworm4 · 07/04/2019 11:30

Middle class MN yet again, the OP has stated multiple times that due to house prices hugely increasing their plans to move couldn't go ahead. Not everyone has £1000s in savings to whack up log cabins/loft conversions. Millions of kids share rooms it's not the end of the world.

NormanChrist · 07/04/2019 11:30

Some posters have a point re affording them.

OP, just put their names in a hat and get rid of the one you pull out. Sorted.

Morons.

FrancisCrawford · 07/04/2019 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Supercuts · 07/04/2019 11:31

5 people in a two bedroomed house, one a box room? Two sleep in the sitting room?

What were you thinking?

TwoBlueFish · 07/04/2019 11:32

This is going to sound odd, but do you have a hallway with understairs cupboard? My dad lived in a small house and when myself and 2 siblings visited (divorced) he didn’t have enough bedrooms. He opened up the under stairs space and built 3 beds into the space then put doors on the hallway. Not ideal but at least we had bed space.

I know you’ve said you can’t avoid to move due to house prices. Could you rent out your house and you rent a 3 bed, not sure how tight your finances are.

UrsulaPandress · 07/04/2019 11:32

Gosh there are some arses on this thread.

My brother and I shared a room until I was 10 and he was 12. I was then moved into a bed in my parents room until we moved house. I think probably my DB was having the mickey taken out of him at big school for sharing with his sister. But we loved it. He used to teach me the words to pop songs and the Man City line up

I’d leave it as it is until your eldest hopefully goes to Uni.

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