To be furious that DS and friends have drawn on faces with sharpie at sleepover

[peoplepleaser1]

Yesterday was DS' 12th birthday. He had 6 friends sleep overnight.

They've been no trouble but I've got up this morning to find they've drawn on the faces of two sleeping friends with sharpie whilst they were asleep.

They have drawn moustaches, bushy eyebrows and cheek roses. I've tried to remove it with them but it's still quite visible. Both kids have quite pale skin which has made it even more visible.

I'm mortified, and upset and angry that DS let this happen under our roof. I was responsible for these kids and I feel terrible that they did this.

I've told DS to carry on as normal and that I'll deal with him once they've all gone home.

I'm not usually very strict and DS is usually a good kid but I'm really annoyed with him- well with all of them tbh but it's not my place to do anything about that.

DS is going to his dads tonight, we aren't together. I have mentioned it to him and he has said I'm ridiculous and overreacting. I planned to ban DS from electronics for a couple of days but his Dad has said he won't back me up so I can't do that.

AIBU and overreacting?!

[StrongerThanIThought76]

My ds was the 'drawn on' kid at a 12yo sleepover once. Was UTTERLY, UTTERLY humiliated, he was devastated that his friends thought it was ok to do this to him.

His friendships with some of the group have been damaged beyond repair, the parents did nothing - laughed it off in fact - which led to me distancing myself from them to the point our friendship dwindled to nothing.

At 12yo the boys knew what they were doing OP. Maybe it's about time your ds learned that this action has consequences. If his dad won't support you, you need to implement something when he's back from his dad's.

Oh, baby oil, WD40 and moisturiser.

[Horehound]

Try alcohol wipes

[DocusDiplo]

Oh my god - 1st world problems!!!! Its felt tip. Get over it.

[Jessgalinda]

Why do posters think it is OK to laugh atassault?

I am sure the parents can phone 101 and have the ops son charged in that case.

[redwoodmazza]

I would be furious if this had been done to my DS at a sleepover.

[youreajetalltheway]

I strongly suspect that some of the replies on this thread are from people completely lacking in emotional intelligence, and who may have carried out this 'prank' on friends themselves.

[MariaNovella]

Children need to be taught to respect the personal boundaries of others. Messing with another person’s body in their sleep without consent is no laughing matter.

[Flev]

Have you tried hand sanitiser? Not sure if it would work in this case but it gets sharpie off some surfaces.

[Smelborp]

I would be comin down on this strong too. You’re not over reacting OP, especially as they’ve done something which has upset the boys. Even if his dad won’t enforce a punishment, I’d be straight back on it when he is back with you.

[Tulipvase]

Apparently anti bac hand gel is good for sharpies, I assume it’s the alcohol.

[Hahaha88]

@DocusDiplo it's not felt tip. It's permanent marker. Huge difference.

I'd be fuming if I were you op as well as any of the boy's parents. It's not on. What if one of the boys has something important to go to today/tomorrow? Imagine if they were in a wedding party!!
If it had been washable water soluble pens or an eye liner. Fine, it's a bit off still and I'd be unimpressed but at least it would wash right off.
I imagine those of you saying you'd laugh it off are the kind of people who think it's funny to shave off a grooms eyebrows on his stag or something else equally rude

[BlueBuilding]

I wouldn't be happy if my DC had been envolved or sat and watched while this had happened.

A bit of eyeliner is one thing, but permanent marker? All over someone's face?

Really not OK.

[Taneartagam]

I think anything done to someone asleep or unconscious is a no go area and should be treated very seriously.

[Jessgalinda]

No I never carried this prank of any other pranks on my friends.

However, I also know that some 12 years olds dont always do the sensible thing and think of think of the consquences.

As a parent if my dd was drawn on and she was ok, I would laugh it off. If it was a one off and the friendship was otherwise good i would tell the OP dd was upset but also advise dd that they probably didnt mean to hurt her and remind her of the daft stuff she has done and then support her in living past it.

If it was a pattern of behaviour, against, dd then it would be different again.

Theres so many scenarios where the reaction would be different.

I wouldn't be yelling at the OP that her child had assaulted mine.

[Florescentadolescent]

I can't believe how over the top people are being. I've had this done to me as a child and as an adult. It's a bit of fun. If a kid is upset then they need to learn how to take a joke. It's pen they wern't branded.

Just feel lucky they didn't shave their eyebrows off.

[RandomMess]

I would make him serve his punishment once back with you. I would make him write a letter of apology to each friend. To include that he now realises how unkind and out of order it is.

Imagine the humiliation for those for at least a few days until it wears off

[TheSassyAssassin]

Actually I would be furious too and I would as a start make my DC apologise to the parents of the children who'd been drawn on when they came to collect them. It might be silly but it isn't acceptable and I know my own DC would be devastated if this had happened to them on a sleepover.

[Corcra]

I would be very angry with them. Definitely having talk and removing their tech. My 4 year old knows sharpies are permanent and to be careful with them. They knew well it wouldn’t come off easily. If it had been done with lipstick or something that could be washed off easily it might not be as bad.
Four boys doing that to two sleeping boys is really not nice at all, how is it funny? The boys are upset.
I think you are correct op.

[PinaColadaPlease]

If those on the receiving end of the prank are upset then it’s not funny. All those involved should be apologising to them.

[Banhaha]

I agree with @MariaNovella. Those poor children now know their friends don't respect them enough not to do things to them while they are asleep. They trusted their friends and this trust is now broken.

I'd say do the punishment when DS gets back from dad's if dad doesn't care enough about personal boundaries to carry out the punishment himself.

[Unihorn]

Catastrophising these kinds of situations is why children grow up with no emotional resilience. Kids do stupid things to each other thinking it's funny without thinking about consequences. I agree with Jessgalinda provided it's not a pattern of behaviour that would indicate bullying, just a quick telling off is fine.

[Kittykat93]

Fucks sake. Actually people on here calling it assault. Ffs it was a kids prank drawing on them, it's really not terrible and I'm sure they didn't mean to be cruel. Yes he should apologise and not do it again but people are being so dramatic about it on this thread.

We do things as kids that we wouldn't do now.

[amatsip]

Swarfega is your friend, saved dd on many an occassion

[TaylahForsyth]

Assault? You can't be serious! I can only presume that the person on this thread who claimed that has never experienced real assault.

[Kittykat93]

But yes I totally agree it's not funny if the boys are upset. They probably thought they would laugh about it