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AIBU?

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Original poster

Son shown his willy during lesson

349 replies

Harryy · 04/04/2019 18:42

Today after school the teacher has told me that my 5 year old son had pulled down his pants and showed his willy to the class during PE and tomorrow he will be missing out on his morning break time surely this behaviour should be dealt with on the day it happens? (PE was the last lesson)

OP posts:
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 04/04/2019 19:39

Arf at the notion that kids need to be specifically told not to get their willy out in the classroom or they couldn’t possibly have realised it’d be an issue!

Thesearmsofmine · 04/04/2019 19:39

@CallmeKaren in your experience. In mine (as a parent and an early years worker) it is not unusual behaviour. Nobody has said it is acceptable behaviour, everyone has said to chat to him about keeping those parts private.

CharlottesInterWeb · 04/04/2019 19:40

@callmeKaren oh come on! He is 5 years old!!! I can't believe anyone would get so het up about a little boy testing boundaries. No one has been harmed, totally age appropriate behaviour, no inference of anything more sinister if it's a one-off...

I really hope if my 5yr old did this at school he'd be treated with more understanding and patience.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:40

In my entire lifetime of experience, rearing children myself.

ChipSandwich · 04/04/2019 19:40

If we punished every time a child showed their privates there would be no kids playing out

I was a child a few decades ago, in mixed sex school from infants right through to the year I left. Not one person of either sex ever showed their privates. The same goes for both my daughters.
Is this a thing now?

JuniorAsparagus · 04/04/2019 19:41

Harry is he in Reception, or Yr 1?
Has he done it before, or was it the first time?
I think I would have been more inclined to say 'Put it away, Billy.' very briskly, or 'All the boys have got one, they don't need to see yours.'
It is childish behaviour, and he is a child.

bellabasset · 04/04/2019 19:42

I don't think at 5 it's necessary to punish him, it's more a question of young children learning what is acceptable behaviour in class at school.

lucy101101 · 04/04/2019 19:43

I think it is misleading that you didn't state in the OP that he has SEN (diagnosed?). It is inappropriate behaviour but if he has SEN, staying in at breaktime, rather than a conversation (pants are private etc.) sounds like a school that is going to give you other issues...

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:43

@ChipSandwich Apparently it is. Doesn't surprise me, as MNers seem to find it charming how fascinated their sons are with their willies.

I know my dd would have been quite distressed and I expect it will be the talk of all the other 5 year olds with little Molly going home and saying Bryon showed me his willy and Molly's Mum going into school to wonder what the fuck went on.

Original poster
Harryy · 04/04/2019 19:43

@CallmeKaren your making out my child isn't "normal" kinda harsh to say that about a 5 year old!

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 04/04/2019 19:43

"Maybe some questions on whether he is capable of integrating into a mainstream school."

That's right lets lock them all away.

oblada · 04/04/2019 19:45

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CharlottesInterWeb · 04/04/2019 19:46

callmeKaren your daughter would be distressed at seeing a 5 year old's body part? Really?? Much worse typically goes on in school life, I hope she's able to cope. I also have a sensitive DD and if this happened to her then she would probably be quite revolted but not distressed. That seems quite an extreme reaction.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:46

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JustARandomBloke · 04/04/2019 19:46

Both my kids (one boy and one girl) have been sent to school properly equipped with the knowledge of what's private and what isn't. It's up to me as a parent to make sure that they know and understand this for their own safety as well as for everyone else's sake.

I would suggest you accept the school punishment for what it is ( a reasonable consequence for unacceptable behaviour) and that you do your bit as a parent and explain to your son what parts are private and what that means.

chillpizza · 04/04/2019 19:47

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oblada · 04/04/2019 19:47

I would be much more worried by another child being distressed by seeing a child's privates in that manner. What is there to be distressed about?

Singlenotsingle · 04/04/2019 19:48

Little boys think that willies are funny. And they are! (Especially spider willies!)

No need to make a big issue out of it...

chillpizza · 04/04/2019 19:49

Well for a child that’s been raised that private’s are private and you don’t show them to people and it’s not appropriate for people to show you theirs then yes it would be distressing.

Would you like to be flashed by a random willy while going about your day? I don’t think so.

Stinkytoe · 04/04/2019 19:50

I think it’s counterproductive punishing small children by not allowing them outside play. They need to burn off some energy in order to learn effectively for the rest of the day.

I’m also not sure how big a deal this is from a 5 year old. I don’t think my son would do it but if he did I’d explain why it was inappropriate rather than go down hard with punishments.

Original poster
Harryy · 04/04/2019 19:50

@JuniorAsparagus he's in Reception

OP posts:
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 04/04/2019 19:51

On the “boys do this all the time” thing - not in a classroom in front of the entire class and the teacher they don’t.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:51

Not sure Oblada. Not sure why flashers distress children and adults either - surely it's natural?
My dd would be annoyed because Bryon showed her his willy. She'd adamantly tell me he's a bold boy (she is very prim and proper). I know while it was happening she would probably feel like she had no choice but to look at it and she sure as hell would be taught that she doesn't have to put up with that behavior just because he's a boy.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:54

If a child doesn't know to keep his willy in his pants, is he ready for school?

Stinkytoe · 04/04/2019 19:55

Doesn’t matter if he’s ready for school or not if he’s turned 5 then he has little choice