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Original poster

Son shown his willy during lesson

349 replies

Harryy · 04/04/2019 18:42

Today after school the teacher has told me that my 5 year old son had pulled down his pants and showed his willy to the class during PE and tomorrow he will be missing out on his morning break time surely this behaviour should be dealt with on the day it happens? (PE was the last lesson)

OP posts:
JustDanceAddict · 05/04/2019 15:55

DS, at a similar age, took his willy out in the line to go in from the playground as did a couple of his mates. They were seen and got a massive bollocking, he was scared of that staff member for a long time so remembered it very well !! Thankfully there was never a repeat incident.
Nothing wrong w disciplining him the next day, he does have a working memory I presume.

CabbageHippy · 05/04/2019 16:01

It's a bit sad that a 5-year-old lad is being told that his willy is something to be ashamed of and that showing it is a punishable offence

but it is a punishable offence - if he was 20 years old & did that in the local park he would be arrested

Original poster
Harryy · 05/04/2019 16:03

He's been sent home with this and they spoken about it during break time with him

Son shown his willy during lesson
OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 05/04/2019 16:05

What a lazy sheet. Surely people at school see his underwear when they get changed for PE?!

I applaud the sentiment but not sure that sheet is totally transparent for small children!

FudgeBrownie2019 · 05/04/2019 16:07

The bit about "no-one at school should see my underwear" is odd - if they get changed in front of the whole class (which is what Reception age children do in my school) that could be confusing.

I agree that it didn't need to be a huge thing; he's very young for it to be made into a real issue. A quick explanation of why it's not ok usually nips it in the bud.

Original poster
Harryy · 05/04/2019 16:24

Agree there is a few I don't agree with. He needs help in the toilet so will need a grown up in with him, if he wants to he naked at home he doesn't have to be in his bedroom. A few could off been taken out

OP posts:
JuniorAsparagus · 05/04/2019 16:43

That sheet would be appropriate for an older child, but for s five year old with autism there is WAY too much information in one place.
They really do need specific autism training.
Are you sure this is the right school for your son OP?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 05/04/2019 17:39

I hope they realise yoyr son is never getting changed for pe again thatvsheet gas told him he doesnt take his clothes off at school.

I'm autistic myself and to me as a 38 year old that says you dont get changed at school no PE. No Swimming, no school plays.

Clearly downloaded - american school in the picture etc.

I agree with others theres no attempt to understand autism here.

SinkGirl · 05/04/2019 18:10

Yeah and “rest room” 🙄

I think many 5 year olds would struggle with that sheet, let alone one with ASD

I’d try and get in with the SENCO and teacher ASAP so you can start getting some stuff in place. Don’t think this has been handled brilliantly at all.

Nubbin · 05/04/2019 19:03

Expectations of 5 year olds seem to be spectacularly low - SEN which can be properly provided for in a mainstream environment should not need reminding of basics unless there is a 121 to help. At reception age i'd expect that vast majority of children to understand privates, appropriate behaviour in getting changed and certainly no flashing!

Nubbin · 05/04/2019 19:05

Surely it starts at home - e.g I am going to the toilet - no you can't come it is private, put your willy away no-one wants to see it at dinner etc - this is a 1-3 years old.

Raspberry88 · 05/04/2019 19:14

At reception age i'd expect that vast majority of children to understand privates, appropriate behaviour in getting changed and certainly no flashing!

As has been mentioned multiple times here it is very normal behaviour for that age. Also, really stop calling it flashing.

Plornish · 05/04/2019 19:24

That’s not a very helpful sheet at all. It uses American vocabulary - “underwear” for pants, “pants” for trousers - which is likely to confuse. And in American elementary schools, children do not change for PE. The only time they might change clothes in front of each other is for an after-school sports club.

Original poster
Harryy · 05/04/2019 19:49

Should I just scrap the sheet? I was told if I can go over it during the holidays

OP posts:
Lookingforadvice123 · 05/04/2019 19:56

Nubbin how on earth did you potty train your 1-3 year old if they weren't allowed to come to the toilet with you, ever?

Original poster
Harryy · 05/04/2019 20:03

Surely it starts at home - e.g I am going to the toilet - no you can't come it is private, put your willy away no-one wants to see it at dinner etc - this is a 1-3 years old.

We aren't private when using the bathroom at home didn't think you had to be at home!

OP posts:
Cantthinkofausername1990 · 05/04/2019 20:08

There is a lot of information on that sheet for him to process. Could you make it simpler? Cut out the ones that apply and glue them to another sheet?

Darayan20 · 05/04/2019 20:37

Why is his teacher making it such a thing he is only 1 poor little boy

Haffdonga · 05/04/2019 21:11

@Harryy

A couple of anecdotes that will hopefully show that your ds's willy showing is really not a big deal and not a lot to worry about.

Our family regularly enjoy reminding s2 of his nursery teacher's routine story time instruction DS2, put your todger away please. It would comeout as a comfort object. Ds2 is now a medical student.

Friend's ds in reception one day didn't come in from the play ground after break. The teacher went out and found him totally naked in the sandpit. When she asked what he was doing he said I'm on the beach! He is now a senior teacher.

Not saying that willy expsingis a sign of great things to come. Just not a sign of anything bad.

I suggest going along with the school's picture card and discussing with your ds gently about when not to undress.

Nubbin · 05/04/2019 21:14

They were totally allowed to follow me at an early age - at 5 no - they had learnt this wasn't a 'sharing experience'. 5 is more than old enough to learn that genitalia aren't waved around and it isn't funny or boys being boys - along with all the basics no hitting, no spitting, no being mean etc. I don't really get why people are so quick to excuse basic bad behaviour. If there are SEN fair enough but again needs to be managed.

Nubbin · 05/04/2019 21:16

Let's be honest it is all attention seeking - he didn't wave is willy around for the fresh air...

Claw01 · 05/04/2019 21:17

Maybe you could make your own social story? In terms your son will understand and are relevant to him? (There are examples in the link I gave earlier in the thread)

Show them how it is done?!

I would also ask them to look for ‘triggers’ if it ever happens again ie when, where, who was there, what was going on etc.

Original poster
Harryy · 05/04/2019 21:29

@Nubbin he wasn't "waving" he's willy round he just pulled down his underwear! And like I've said I'm not that bothered that he got naked it's more the punishment and having go carry it over to the next day.

@Claw01 I'd see what I can do

OP posts:
Nubbin · 05/04/2019 21:34

So what would you like them to do? It was at then end of a school day. What do you think would be appropriate?

Missing a tiny bit of break seems more than proportionate and the same if someone had messed around at carpet time or otherwise. At 5 they should be more than able to make the link in time - they manage for certificates for example at Friday assemblies for good behaviour earlier in the week.

It just seems overthought - response - that was naughty and not on - don't do it again- teachers are right - let's go and have some tea....

Claw01 · 05/04/2019 21:36

how about something similar to this with pictures? Add/delete as appropriate. Pictures are very important for each step.

In school we do PE
We take our trousers off
We take our shirt off
We put shorts on
We must keep our shorts pulled up
We do not pull shorts down until we are back in the classroom

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