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Original poster

Son shown his willy during lesson

349 replies

Harryy · 04/04/2019 18:42

Today after school the teacher has told me that my 5 year old son had pulled down his pants and showed his willy to the class during PE and tomorrow he will be missing out on his morning break time surely this behaviour should be dealt with on the day it happens? (PE was the last lesson)

OP posts:
CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:23

It's a bit sad that a 5-year-old lad is being told that his willy is something to be ashamed of and that showing it is a punishable offence
What about a 5 year old girl pulling her knickers down? I'd have thought they'd have been thought by now that you just don't do that.

I'm sure the school will be keeping a very close eye on your ds for further indications of potential inappropriate behaviour going on outside the school against your ds.

DizzyPhillips · 04/04/2019 19:24

Some people are bonkers. Absolutely stark raving bonkers.

TriciaH87 · 04/04/2019 19:24

School will deal with at their first opportunity which is break tomorrow. However that would be my least concern in this matter. Expect a call from social services and a home visit. My son poked a boys bum aged 5 and the school are legally obligated to report it.

mclaleli · 04/04/2019 19:25

It's a bit sad that a 5-year-old lad is being told that his willy is something to be ashamed of and that showing it is a punishable offence.

Only on Mumsnet!

LuvSmallDogs · 04/04/2019 19:26

Kids have always been doing stuff like this, at 5 it’s pretty innocent - he probably thinks it looks funny wobbling round and decided to show his mates. I think he just needs to be talked to about keeping things private, it’s not menacing behaviour at this age. I don’t see how it’s relevant saying adults get arrested for it, when the intent of a man flashing vs a 5 y/o is totally different.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:27

OP are you not remotely concerned that your ds showed his willy to his classmates? Does he do it at home?

Danetobe · 04/04/2019 19:28

Not letting a 5 year old out to play is ridiculous. Assuming this is the only misdemeanour and a one-off, an informal but direct discussion on 'why willy-waving is not appropriate' should do the trick surely.

TORDEVAN · 04/04/2019 19:28

I agree with the talk about keeping bits private, but bringing it up the next day and keeping off let of steam time - no, I don't agree with that.

Great idea - don't let him get rid of his energy and remind him of getting his bits out (maybe he'll remember how it made everyone laugh or how much attention he got when he did it). Then you just have a kid with a lot of energy and a reminder of how he made people laugh OR of something that gets a reaction.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:29

@mclaleli
Boys will be boys attitude as usual. Confused

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:30

Kids have always been doing stuff like this Yes, at 2.

Ilikeslippers · 04/04/2019 19:32

I'm sorry, but kids don't do this, or certainly not in my entire lifetime

Utter nonsense. I have seen numerous times amongst boys this age. They do it because they think it is funny, because they are learning about bodies, and because children do test adults boundaries.

Being kept in at playtime is a light punishment It's not a light punishment if you are five.

Some of the pp are reacting as if this is the same level as an adult man getting his penis out at work. He is five! A calm word about this would suffice.

HexagonalBattenburg · 04/04/2019 19:32

Expect a call from social services and a home visit.

Oh purlease - even by MH hysterical standards that's excessive.

DD1 did this (with her bottom in the absence of a willy) at the same age and school reacted fairly excessively in terms of pulling me in for a meeting with the safeguarding lead (there were no previous or subsequent concerns regarding either of my kids). She just needed a talk about how private parts stay inside the pants, and it never happened again! Was also during PE changing time which I think is prime territory for the age-old game of comparing who has what cartoon character on their pants to spill over into something sillier.

It will get logged somewhere in case there's a pattern, and you might get called in for a discussion like I had - but that's it, unless there are other concerns going on.

Thesearmsofmine · 04/04/2019 19:33

I wouldn’t punish a five year old at all. A chat about keeping certain things private is all that is needed

Totally agree with this.

I don’t know why people are making something that is pretty common behaviour into a big deal, he is a little child and they do silly things. I remember being very young and my friends and I comparing our knickers in the playground. I don’t do this now!

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:33

I would be asking myself why my dc was doing it, not questioning a consequence imposed by the school. Schools can't tolerate children randomly exposing themselves. I would at the very least expect that this incident will have generated a SS report. Maybe some questions on whether he is capable of integrating into a mainstream school.

Sockwomble · 04/04/2019 19:33

Child has sn so may be socially younger than 5. Even without sn all that is required for a one off is to be told not to do it

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 04/04/2019 19:34

Can’t say my son ever got his willy out randomly to show anybody.

Nor has mine - yet. But his little friend (4) invited him to look inside her pants (which she was stretching out) to see how the orange fabric turned her noo-noo orange. I just told her to stop showing her private parts to people, I certainly didn't punish her.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 04/04/2019 19:34

I would tell the teacher there will be no punishment
You would, would you, Musket? I would hope they’d be telling you something in return

Serin · 04/04/2019 19:35

To the PP asking if he is allowed to run around naked at home.
He is 5!!
Why would he not run around naked at home? Confused
What sad world do we live in where 5 year olds are conscious of being naked.

Original poster
Harryy · 04/04/2019 19:36

This is the first time he's done it! He won't even take his pants off at home if he's sister are in the same room.

OP posts:
chillpizza · 04/04/2019 19:36

By 5 children should already know. I might expect it from a 2 year old maybe never seen it personally but by 5 they should of been taught this is a child about to enter year 1 not a just started reception child.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:36

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KurriKurri · 04/04/2019 19:36

I don't think the child is being told his willy is something to be ashamed of, just that it should be kept private. It is not acceptable behaviour both for his own safety and the comfort of those children around him.
As a 5yr old I spent a whole year sitting next to a boy who pulled his willy out and waved it at me every day. When I tried to tell teachers I was told not to be silly, my parents told me 'boys do that kind of thing' so I had to put up with it every day. And while it hasn;t exactly scarred me for life, it did give the message that my right not to feel uncomfortable in class was not as improtant as the boy's desire to show me his willy. I doubt he grew up to be a pervert, and as I say I wasn;t scarred. But 55 yrs later I still remember that boys name and remember the feeling of discomfort, and I had to put up with it for a year when it could have been stopped after the first time with an appropriate talk to him or a sanction.

I don't really hold with the 'all boys do it' argument - having worked with children of all ages, I know they don't all do it, although it isn;t that uncommon. But little boys need to know that their private parts are private, - for their own safety, and that when you do anything you have to consider whether other people might not want you to do it, and they have a right to not see your bits. But it's an explanatory chat rather than a punishment, maybe the teacher is planning to talk to him about appropriate behaviour during the missed break.

Limensoda · 04/04/2019 19:37

I'm sorry, but kids don't do this, or certainly not in my entire lifetime

You mean in your experience, or to your knowledge because I can assure you they do.
It IS something a child will do.It's our reaction that is often OTT.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 19:38

And it will almost certainly (if the school are following their obligations), lead to a safeguarding enquiry.
Tbh, him being kept in for 15 mins tomorrow is the least of your worries OP.

polarpig · 04/04/2019 19:38

5 is a bit young to stay in for all of break as it's going to be about 20 minutes and they need to get out and run around. I'd be more inclined to keep him in for a couple of minutes (ages when you are 5 and all your friends have gone out) to chat with him about acceptable behaviour and then send him out.