Son shown his willy during lesson

[Harryy]

Today after school the teacher has told me that my 5 year old son had pulled down his pants and showed his willy to the class during PE and tomorrow he will be missing out on his morning break time surely this behaviour should be dealt with on the day it happens? (PE was the last lesson)

I think its important he learns this isn't acceptable before people do make an issue of it. Same day would be best but next day he can be reminded. Talk from you at home is most important but would be teaching rather than punishment imo.

I wouldn’t punish a five year old at all. A chat about keeping certain things private is all that is needed

I agree. Despite the 'horror' that people have about a little boy showing his penis and the worry he may become some sort of pervert, it's perfectly normal behaviour in a child that age. Punishment isn't necessary unless they child has been told previously and does it again.

I have had this (and worse) with my DS who has ASD. He has never been punished for it, thankfully. What they did do was a classwide talk about pants and which bits are private, with pictures and stories, which had much more of an impact than punishing a little boy who has difficulty with social boundaries (as a lot of five year olds do...SEN or not!). Keeping him at break time is too much of a punishment at that age in my view, particularly the next day.

I agree with Frances

This is the age they do things like this. Punishment isn't needed, it's education and good discipline, and socialisation.
If we punished every time a child showed their privates there would be no kids playing out.

It's not punishment it's a consequence for his behaviour. He was being silly,possibly showing off to his friends and as a consequence he can't play with them for morning break. There's still lunch break and afternoon play. Some of his classmates might've been upset by it as well.

I wouldn’t punish a five year old at all. A chat about keeping certain things private is all that is needed

I agree too. Unless he has already been told specifically not to do that, and was doing it deliberately to be naughty.

it is punishment of course it is.
A consequence of showing your willy is not missing a break.
As a grown up you wouldn't miss your tea break at work, you'd be arrested, punished because you know better.

Far better to explain why it isn't socially acceptable through educating.

Thank you! He has ASD, ODD and Anxiety I didn't want to add that for people to say that because he's got additional needs he shouldn't get punished.

I think a word from the teacher was all it needed. Then report to you and you could talk to him at night.
I'd say that irrespective of your ds sn.
I can't believe that punishment is used rather than education.

Aww, poor little mite.
I got caught showing my knickers aged 5
I was made to stand on a table in assembly and was told how disgusting I was in front of everyone.
I haven't grown up to be sexually explicit/an exhibitionist but I can still remember the shame and horror of being called dirty.
Hes a baby. Have a chat and leave him alone.

Not an unreasonable consequence from the school, but you don't need to 'punish' him at home, too. Kids do stuff like this, without malice, they need to be gently but firmly taught it's not acceptable.

@Harryy Oh bless him! Be prepared for more of this, it might take a while for the penny to drop. Our Senco was fabulous, gave me social stories to use at home which also really helped. Unfortunately, we had a few incidences and then a complaint from another parent (quite rightly) but the school were hugely supportive and understood that his behaviour was related to his lack of social skills and inability to observe boundaries. Your update means that "punishing" him with a loss of breaktime tomorrow morning looks more ridiculous. I would be having a word in the morning and speaking also to your Senco. Good luck, I know how stressful this is. DS is now 8 and hasn't done this for well over a year now.

I agree with those saying that punishment is not needed - a class talk to reinforce appropriate behaviour would suffice.

He's 5 ffs!!!

Society and schools can expect much more from a child than they can manage. Let's cut them some slack and let them be kids please.

What is your AIBU?

Ignore my post, I was responding to the OO onlyZ. Seems you did ask a question later.

Why doesn't he know that he can't just wave his willy around at aged 5. Is he allowed to do so at home?

It's a bit sad that a 5-year-old lad is being told that his willy is something to be ashamed of and that showing it is a punishable offence. At that age, they need to learn about what is socially acceptable, but what is he going to learn from a punishment, especially if he were to get one at home as well as one at school. Total overreaction.

Oh and I have a 5 year old DS who quite possibly would do this thinking it would raise a laugh, nothing more than that.

I wouldn’t punish a five year old at all. A chat about keeping certain things private is all that is needed

Absolutely this.

And keeping a child off their playtime is a very harsh punishment. He is only five - other than his family, play is the most important thing in his life.

I'm sorry, but kids don't do this, or certainly not in my entire lifetime.

@Fuppy. Not tolerate his behaviour. FFS he is 5 not 15. He just needs to be told that getting your willy out in class/PE is not ok and a gentle explanation as to why. At 5 years old most kids won’t understand why they shouldn’t do it.

Can’t say my son ever got his willy out randomly to show anybody. He needs to be taught/explained that you don’t do that.

"Unless he has already been told specifically not to do that"
A five year old knows that isnt appropriate behaviour.

Being kept in at playtime is a light punishment appropriate to the issue, it being the next day is no problem at all.

Aw what he’s only five

Teachers these days are snow flakes who cant be arsed to discipline right there and then.

What exactly would you suggest they do?