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AIBU?

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Original poster

Son shown his willy during lesson

349 replies

Harryy · 04/04/2019 18:42

Today after school the teacher has told me that my 5 year old son had pulled down his pants and showed his willy to the class during PE and tomorrow he will be missing out on his morning break time surely this behaviour should be dealt with on the day it happens? (PE was the last lesson)

OP posts:
Worsethingshappen · 04/04/2019 21:08

Punishment for an isolated incident like this for a 5 yr old is totally bananas!!

mrstinky · 04/04/2019 21:09

What do you do for a living Karen?

hennaoj · 04/04/2019 21:09

CallmeKaren

You are going to have to get used to children with special needs being in mainstream. They are increasing in numbers and there aren't enough places in special schools.
I thought the most suitable school for my 5 year old was a really nice special school that I visited. However, despite having a 51% delay he didn't get in due to numbers and a cohort that were non verbal. Luckily he's doing really well in mainstream thanks to a brilliant teacher and ta. The other parents are great and very understanding (despite his occasional tendency to violence), unlike you.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 21:10

Why is my profession relevant? I'm not the OP here.

mrstinky · 04/04/2019 21:11

You seem to know so much what do you do in your life?

Claw01 · 04/04/2019 21:14

harryy as your son uses pecs to communicate, I would put money on his pec cards not being available to him during PE for starters! He may have been trying to communicate something to them!

Maybe he needed the toilet, was uncomfortable in some way etc. My son has Autism and he cannot stand things like labels touching his skin.

I think suggesting a social story, instead of punishment will show school you are not dismissing what happened, just there are more appropriate ways of dealing with it.

MNHQ
EstherMumsnet · 04/04/2019 21:16

We don't want to delete this thread - it has potential to be helpful not just to the OP but to other Mumsnetters in similar situations. But if we have to delete too many posts it just become so full of holes that we have no choice but to take it down. So please hold off on the troll hunting and any abusive comments, and report any that you see to us using the report button above each post. Thanks!

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 21:16

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Schuyler · 04/04/2019 21:19

CallmeKaren do you know what you’re talking about when you say “profound” needs? I do know what I am talking about but I don’t think you understand!

Spikeyball · 04/04/2019 21:19

You really don't want children with sn around your child do you.

Spikeyball · 04/04/2019 21:20

The OP's child doesn't have profound sn.

CheshireChat · 04/04/2019 21:20

Pretty telling that the teachers on this thread are perfectly 'meh, it happens, don't do it again'.

Not all kids are actually ready for school at 4-5, but there's not much you can do; I'm amazingly grateful DS is autumn born!

Harryy is the issue the fact he doesn't understand delayed punishment? Or the fact he needs to run around more?

I think a whole class chat about privates would be most efficient as it would reinforce boundaries for everyone.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 21:20

You've said he has the mental age of a 2-3 year old and this behaviour would suggest that that is indeed the case.
I genuinely wish you the best of luck getting him into more appropriate schooling. And I stand my belief that this sort of behaviour is not appropriate nor typical at 5.

Claw01 · 04/04/2019 21:21

Profound special needs? Now you’re an expert on special needs?!

Spikeyball · 04/04/2019 21:22

That isn't profound sn.

CheshireChat · 04/04/2019 21:23

Just wanted to clarify, the teachers' reactions are absolutely fine, it's really not an issue.

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 21:25

CheshireCat
The OP is saying that his DS is unlikely to understand a whole class conversation on when it's appropriate to show off his willy.

It's difficult I suspect, but OP, this might well be a gift you've been given where he might get into a more appropriate school quicker.

Nonnymum · 04/04/2019 21:26

I wouldn’t punish a five year old at all. A chat about keeping certain things private is all that is needed
I agree, surely it's best just to talk to him.

Spikeyball · 04/04/2019 21:27

No he won't get into a school more quickly because of this.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/04/2019 21:29

Sorry @CallmeKaren behaviour of that type is VERY typical of an ASD five year old. Perhaps you'd like to speak to my son's paed consultant and Senco to confirm that? You are backtracking because you know you've been vile. Stop going on about drip feeding. You accused the OP's son of being a potential sex offender. You have NO IDEA how insulting and vile that is and how it feels to a parent dealing with situations like this. Go away.

Claw01 · 04/04/2019 21:31

You've said he has the mental age of a 2-3 year old and this behaviour would suggest that that is indeed the case.

Where did the OP say this?

CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 21:33

I have never done any such a thing! What a disgusting thing to accuse me of.
While it may be typical of an ASD child, it is certainly not typical of a NT child of that age. That is what I was saying throughout.
If you have an ASD child, then maybe that's shocking to you, but it is reality.
Don't you dare accuse me of calling the child a sex offender. Are you on drugs?

McHelenz · 04/04/2019 21:34

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CallmeKaren · 04/04/2019 21:35

Read his posts Claw

PortiaCastis · 04/04/2019 21:36

The teacher's actions are fine OP I'd just have a chat to your ds about pants are private

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