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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be really angry? I've even cried

293 replies

HelenOn · 03/04/2019 10:13

My new job, of which I'm suppose to start next week, have called to have a chat.

They wanted to ask why one of my references came back as 'Had a lot of time off sick' (not sure if old work gave dates).

I was off a lot for the majority of my time in that role (about a year) due to crippling Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). My spelling may be slightly off there.

Anyway, since it is completely pregnancy related, I didn't think they could mention it in a reference.

But it's been mentioned and new employer now sounds very sceptical. I tried to explain what it is and I got a very abrupt 'We know what HG is'.

I just don't know what to do Sad I really need/want this job and feel like crying. New job have said they're speaking to HR for a chat about it.

AIBU to be really angry at old work?

OP posts:
boringlyboring · 06/04/2019 16:05

OP has your DBS been completed now? I had read your posts when you first posted, sorry if I’ve missed that bit.

If it hasn’t, I can see why they would be dubious with 1 reference not given, delayed/incomplete DBS and a potential query on your experience level from the reference they’ve had.

Hopefully they will see it as shit luck! But it would be worth applying for some others if you can, to try and get a back up plan in place.

With the temp ref, do you know any other agency workers you can contact? Or can you speak to where you were actually placed by the agency, and see if they have new contact details for them?

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 06/04/2019 16:06

You’re overlooking the fact that you didn’t disclose it in the interview, op. Haven’t you understood what Van said?

thewinkingprawn · 06/04/2019 16:07

I’d listen to advice if i were you - they care that you have exaggerated experience in interview- hold your hands up, explain why and get on with it. You cannot lie in interview and expect them too be fine with it regardless of reason. Legally take it up with previous employer but this one is well within rights to have you for lying.

Original poster
HelenOn · 06/04/2019 16:09

boring I think it has, yes. I was told on the phone thank you for doing the DBS. And it wouldn't have been known that I'd done it if the results weren't back for them to see. All clear, I think Grin

I'm applying for other roles as back up but very worried it'll happen again! I'm sure the old employer aren't even allowed to mention pregnancy absence on a reference.

I got the temp job through direct application. So no agency unfortunately! But they do still appear to be running according to gov.uk

OP posts:
boringlyboring · 06/04/2019 16:11

Sorry I realised after it wasn’t an agency job not sure where I got that from! Confused

Can you find any of your ex colleagues on social media etc to try and get new contact details?

Original poster
HelenOn · 06/04/2019 16:15

boring that's a very good idea! I didn't think of using social media to find him/her

OP posts:
MidsomerBurgers · 06/04/2019 16:45

I'm sure the old employer aren't even allowed to mention pregnancy absence on a reference.

They're also not going to lie and say you had 2 years experience in the role when you were absent for 12 months plus of it, are they?

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 17:04

HelenOn

I'm 20 and my go to places are Boden (selective), Jasper Conran (Debenhams), Toast, GAP and TK Maxx.

Are you really only 20 OP? in some ways I'm not surprised but your job experience can't be that much considering you have a kid and been on long term sick leave which makes the lie worse

ContinuityError · 06/04/2019 17:05

They're also not going to lie and say you had 2 years experience in the role when you were absent for 12 months plus of it, are they?

All they need to provide is confirmation of the dates of employment.

Original poster
HelenOn · 06/04/2019 17:12

Bess Almost 21, about 5 years work experience. Started off in admin and then a junior PA role within 6 months

OP posts:
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 06/04/2019 17:27

Oh dear, op... 20, with 5 years work experience (including 1 year with no experience to speak of!) and maternity leave.
You’ve been telling porkies, my girl. Good and proper.

Polarbearflavour · 06/04/2019 17:32

OP can’t really win here can she? Tell the interviewers she was off sick at the interview and not get any job and then be on benefits and be labelled a “scrounger.” Or not mention her illnees and be a liar.

Besides, it’s a medical sec type job. An admin job. It’s not like she said she had a year’s experience as a neurosurgical reg.

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 17:34

Have you ever had a job interview polar bear?

BoomTish · 06/04/2019 17:43

Just to try and get it straight on my head, am I right in thinking your CV reads something like this?

2013(?) - Company A - Junior Admin
201X - Company B - Junior PA
201X - Company C - Medical Secretary
2019 - Company D - Temp

So long were you actually working in Company C getting hands-on experience as a Medical Secretary? Not including the time you were out sick and/or on maternity leave?

And you haven’t been able to get a reference for Company D so there’s no evidence to confirm you actually worked there?

Can you see why the new employers are dubious?

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 17:46

4 jobs in 6 years is a lot

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 06/04/2019 17:47

Did you really start work at 14, op?!

ChicCroissant · 06/04/2019 17:47

OP, focus on the fact that you have a year's experience less than you told them because that's the issue here. What, if anything, do you have in your previous employment history that you can use to evidence that kind of experience without that role?

I've worked in HR and this has made me wonder what we would have done in this situation - I imagine that your previous employer was surprised to be asked for a reference tbh! I may have written back and said that we were unwilling to provide a reference for this employee, because there is no way I would say someone worked for a year with us if they were absent for the majority of it. As an employer yes, I would want to know if someone was claiming a year's experience and they didn't have it. It is a tough one.

You are coming across as being very defensive about it, which does make it look a deliberate move. Also, it would be better to approach your referees before putting their name forward to act as referees for you - at the moment, you've quoted a job you did for less than half the time and one they can't contact which doesn't look good.

Original poster
HelenOn · 06/04/2019 17:52

Boom Junior PA role was with the same company I started the Junior admin role. So a change of role but not company. I then left around March 2017.

Then the medical secretary role.

And the the temp role (that I took just to work in the local area).

OP posts:
Bess66 · 06/04/2019 17:53

How long were you in the temp job?

BoomTish · 06/04/2019 17:56

So the last time you have evidence of working using the skills on your CV is March 2017?

Can you see why the new company may be suspicious?

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 17:58

You can't have been at the first company where you had two jobs for much more than two years?

Polarbearflavour · 06/04/2019 18:06

Bess66 - I’ve had more than 4 jobs in 6 years as I’ve done temping / contract work. Never had an issue finding jobs!

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 18:09

Well that explains why you dont understands the concerns here so well...

Bess66 · 06/04/2019 18:10

Because of your job history I meant. People care less about temps and contract workers

Polarbearflavour · 06/04/2019 18:11

Bess66 - are you one of those people you think you should stay at one employer for a decade?

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