To be really angry? I've even cried

[HelenOn]

My new job, of which I'm suppose to start next week, have called to have a chat.

They wanted to ask why one of my references came back as 'Had a lot of time off sick' (not sure if old work gave dates).

I was off a lot for the majority of my time in that role (about a year) due to crippling Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). My spelling may be slightly off there.

Anyway, since it is completely pregnancy related, I didn't think they could mention it in a reference.

But it's been mentioned and new employer now sounds very sceptical. I tried to explain what it is and I got a very abrupt 'We know what HG is'.

I just don't know what to do I really need/want this job and feel like crying. New job have said they're speaking to HR for a chat about it.

AIBU to be really angry at old work?

Unfortunately OP I don't think this issue is about the pregnancy related illness at all (although should you wish to take up the release of this information with precious employers then fair enough).

The issues are; that you didn't actually work long enough in the previous job to gain the experience you lead them to believe you had, and secondly that your most recent reference seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.

Despite this I genuinely wish you well and good luck going forward, and hope you get a good fitting job soon- you don't come across to me like a bad potential employee, just had a complex work history and trying to get settled now.

If you need advice try getting in touch with Pregnant then Screwed. They will be able to help. It's what they specialise in: pregnantthenscrewed.com

Op might have got different responses if she’d been on the level from the start. She can’t possibly have five years work experience (direct quote) when she’s not twenty one yet, and she’s had almost a year off whilst actually being employed plus a maternity leave of indeterminate length.
She’s obviously bullshitted her way through the interview and this has been uncovered, but she’s still bleating on that the company shouldn’t be aware of this because it was related to her pregnancy.
It’s hard to have much sympathy at all, really.

It's not about the sick leave, the OP led them to believe she had x period of experience and failed to tell them she had actually been of sick for months then maternity leave so had barely actually worked. She's been caught out and now isn't happy. You reap what you sow.

OP, are you intending on pursuing this legally if the offer is rescinded?

Would be interesting to see what way it would go.

You’re not currently pregnant, so you can’t say you were discrimainated against on that basis. You did raise a concern about your reference but the new company have cleared that up.

If they rescind the offer and give it to a 60 year old man with no kids who is unqualified for the role, you might be able to claim that you were were discriminated against as you’re a woman but, realistically, an admin role like you describe is probably most likely to be filled by a woman in her 20s/30s anyway so can’t see that happening.

At the end of the day, if they pull the offer, it’s going to be based on not being able to secure adequate references confirming where you’ve worked, for how long, and developing what skills.
Everyone is expected to provide references so they have a strong argument for rescinding here.

I’ve asked you a number of times now if you can see why the new company would be dubious, and you haven’t answered.

When I read this type of threads I think about who is on the other side. Eg did someone miss out on this job due to another candidate exaggerating their experience. That may include an internal applicant who has lost out and I'm sure would be less than impressed if the new starter came and had less experience than they had. Having said that I do think Op is in difficult position re what to say in an interview. I would really want to bring up the pregnancy related illness either but clearly my job start and end dates would imply a length of experience so either I say nothing about absence and risk looking like I'm hiding something or I mention it and then have to cross fingers it won't be held against me.

Meant wouldn't not would!

@MotherOfDragonite

VanGoghsDog You said "I have no idea what you've been reading bit of course you tell employers if you have gaps in your skills due to being off for a whole year."

And I said, in response to that, that no, there is no obligation whatsoever to disclose absences from work for sick leave or for maternity leave.

So, as you have confirmed, I did not say it was an obligation.

I am at a loss as to how one could go through an interview, discuss one's experiences, within that rely on the specific and very necessary experience in one particular job that you never did, and fail to say you were not actually at work during that job so quite simply do not have that experience.

So, if that is what the OP did, she lied. She either lied outright when asked questions, or she lied by omission. And the employer is perfectly entitled to pull the offer on those grounds and on the grounds of lack of experience and on the grounds of lack of reference.

None of that is anything to do with her pregnancy related ill health (and, remember, we have no idea what the ex employer actually wrote on the reference, putting under "experience" that the OP was off is not disclosing medical records) nor to do with her maternity leave.

ACAS are great, by the way, but they are understaffed and, fundamentally, not always right. I have had them advise employees who have then gone on to bring a tribunal which they have then lost where it was blindingly obvious they would lose. This happens regularly. They literally always advise people to bring claims if mediation fails (and for 'mediation' read 'getting the employer to pay out even if they are in the right').

I have gone through no end of rounds of mediation with them and they never mediate in favour of the employer - they are an employee advocate, which is great and really useful, but they are not always realistic about the actual law.

If the reference from the medical secretary role stated that you were off for 9 months out of 12, it is actually better from your point of view to have the reason being stated as maternity-related (albeit it may not be legal for your previous employer to mention) rather than no reason at all because maternity-related is a valid reason to be off for such a long continuous period of time and is caused by a condition that is no longer existing.

I would be very slow to mention your legal rights in your upcoming meeting with the manager. The fact that your initial reaction when asked to explain was blurting "Oh, they weren't suppose to tell you that!" When my new employer asked me about it" and you having to row back would already trigger their suspicions that you deliberately set out to hide it from them and use the law as a shield to embellish your experience. That coupled with the failure to get a reference from our temp job probably set alarm bells ringing at their end.

You now need to come clean and come across as honest and present a fair view of your experience (or lack thereof) and how you can compensate for that, and consider things from the new employer's point of view, rather than your own perspective.

I think the fact you are only 20 may mean you have some maturing to do because you are coming across as scatty and evasive.

My job is safe

My second reference came back a few days ago.

Apparently it was very good. I went in today to have the chat and I just explained where else I thought the experience was, as well as clearing up a fib my ex line manager told - That I'd apparently only worked there for 10 days!

Of which is not true by any stretch of the imagination.

I can finally breathe easy again.

Good news OP

Why on earth did your ex manager say you'd only worked there 10 days? If absolutely not true, I'd be pretty annoyed!

Glad your job is safe now! Good luck!

Great news!

Great news!

I’m glad your job is safe and I think you’ve been treated harshly by some PP. Good luck with everything.

Fab!

That's a lovely update, good luck in your new job OP!