Aibu thinking I can't carry on spending money I don't have

[Holidaylover]

Hi everyone

Looking for tips and advice please. I'm a sahm at the moment and will be for a while yet. My husband works very hard and earns just enough to pay for everything for us but there's not really much left over for luxuries after bills.
He gives me a set amount each month (he can't give me more) out of which I need to buy food, petrol, my phone bill and anything else I want. This combined with child benefit works out I can spend £12.40 a day.

My problem is if I was at work I would be busy working all day so no need to spend on things plus id be earning too. But being a sahm I am not working, thus not earning. I have on average 31 long lonely days a month to fill but no money to do anything.

The money I have only covers the food, petrol and phone. There is zero left for anything else.

How can I spend my days without spending any money at all? Any tips? What do other stay at home parents do? I walk the dog. See relatives. Or stay home 90% of the time cleaning, reading or on socal media which is extremely boring and each day is like groundhog day.

If I met a friend for lunch or coffee that costs money I don't have.
If I go shopping I can't buy anything, and even if I didn't buy anything I'd have to pay parking.
If I go to a gym or swimming id have to pay membership. The list is endless.

It doesnt help as a couple of mum friends at school are very rich and don't work and are out every day getting pampered or having lunch or drinking champagne in spas.

I haven't been to a hairdresser in 10 years. Never had nails done or anything like that. Never spend on myself. It's all getting very depressing

You could do online surveys for a bit of extra cash, I do a few and have had a few £50 payouts.

Depending on your income, you could look into doing an OU course as they are often heavily subsidised.

Sorry just seen your update. You don’t want more money

Then volunteer. Charity shops - reading at school - care homes - old people homes - making tea and coffee at a M&T

These threads always intrigue me.

OP is a woman who could work but chooses not to. No worry about her own earning potential. She admits working would stop her spending.

Yes there would be a hot of holiday childcare. However the advantages would be more money (generally) , less boredom, financial independence.

In the event of a split OP may not get half the house, eont get spousal support and unlikely to get some of his pension if he doesnt earn that much.

All the while, the OP is spending longer and longer out of the work place, miserable, at risk of being in the shit if the marriage doesnt work....but still refuses to at least look at working.

I get the sense, this aibu is more 'aibu to wish my life was more like my rich friends lives who dont work but can do what they want'

Volunteer at your local hospital showing people to different areas, keeping patients company, making tea.

Eat beans on toast for a month to pay for other stuff?
Please don't do this

I'm at home whilst my children are at school too. When I'm at home, I do crafts - one way to get started on a new craft is to try some of the 3 for £1 or similar deals on magazines, e.g. cross stitch, patchwork, crochet. You could also join craft groups - knit and natter groups tend to be very cheap and are a good way to get out.

I play Pokemon Go, it costs nothing and makes me go out to parks to catch pokemon and also meet friends to do raids. People have mentioned the library I think, also look into local museums and art galleries, many are free.

In general, I would say to join the Money Saving Expert forums. They are full of advice on how to bring down monthly bills and earn bits and pieces of extra money, many of which I've tried over the years, e.g. Mystery shopping, doing surveys, writing for websites, selling off old baby things on Ebay, taking part in consumer research panels.

Consider managing without your car, it would make a big difference to your overall costs and in a way would help fill your time, as going places by public transport tends to take longer.

Definitely look at term time work and volunteering

What is your skill set

Sounds really tedious. I'd hate the boredom. As others say is there any way to extend your skills through online courses etc. Take up a cheap/free activity like running, hiking.

I'd be looking at lunch supervisor too in the school or what about a parent helper role in the school my ds has parents In volunteering a couple times a week

Term time night shift work and sleep while kids at school.

I am going to be really boring, but I am worried about the puppy.

Dogs are expensive pets - food, insurance, vets bills etc. if you can’t afford to meet friends for a coffe, can you afford pet insurance, vaccinations, monthly flea treatments?

I used to volunteer in a dog shelter, and we took in countless dogs whose owners were heartbroken to gove thwas m up, but simply hadn’t thought through how expensive a dog is. Even if you buy lower quality food, they are expensive little bundles of cuteness.

What hours does your DH work?

Everyone I know in your position works evenings and weekends/around their DH/DP.

Libraries are full of free books. That should keep you going for a while.

Is it that you are bored or that you are lonely? Those are two different things with different solutions.

Op says she doesn’t want to make money.

Op says she doesn’t want to make money.

Andbyet her first post moans about how she never spends on herself and its depressing. And that she cant meet her friends for coffee. Because she doesnt have money, not because she doesnt want to. And talks about her rich friends and what they spend their money on.

Op says she doesn’t want to make money

But she's also complaining that she hasn't got enough money to do anything during the day when her children are at school. So she may as well earn a bit of cash seeing as she apparently can't afford to do anything!

Could you consider childminding?

Op said she isn't interested in earning money. 🤷‍♀️

I see. You don't want to earn more money, just do stuff which does not cost money.

I would suggest you meet friends for tea or lunch at your/their houses as it is free. You could bake a cake.

You could take up a course. For example, if your dcs are doing GCSE, you could study with them (math, computer science) and pick up a GCSE as a private student.

Personally, if I had that amount of time, I would get into matched betting. The intellectual challenge of figuring out how it works and the prospect of earning a little cash would get my juices going.

Are you on disability benefits OP and therefore limited re what kind of work or volunteering you are able to do?

For boredom see if there is a community grozone near you, it's a great way to meet loads of people from all walks of life and you even get free veg!
Otherwise you could try Art/craft?
Invite friends to your house for the price of a cup of tea and a pack of biscuits.
Online yoga/pilates.
Baking.

Can you not ask your childs school/local school or look on your council website if they need any lunchtime supervisors? That's what I did when I was made redundant and eventually trained into a Teaching Assistant role. Supervisory Assistant/Midday Supervisors are above min wage where I live, and over a month, basic wage is around £250 per month. Plus, don't pay tax, have school holidays off and if your school is salaried, you get paid the same amount every month so get money in school holidays too. It's worth a try if you are able to work.

How about doing some voluntary work, a great way to build up your skills and your CV for when it's the right time for you to consider paid employment.

Yes I really don't understand why she doesn't want to do something. Even one cleaning job a week earning £30-40 would make a huge difference when money is that tight.

Just seen updates that you're not interested in earning anymore money - not sure what other advice there is other that what you've been given above. I've always worked even when my son was a baby.

Just thinking if you get a small part time job, you can also transfer your unused tax allowance to a spouse and they get a bigger personal allowance, allowing them to earn more before paying tax.

A lady near me does childcare but only evenings/weekends - aka basically babysitting but she has lots of experience and is dbs checked - she does it to work around her husband being at home with her own kids. Lots of people are willing to spend to get date nights etc.

Write a novel? Very hard to make a go of but you never know.

Volunteer. A friend of mine helps the elderly do their shopping.

Do Swagbucks and other small money making things so you have ££ for coffee occasionally without the restrictions of a job.