Aibu thinking I can't carry on spending money I don't have

[Holidaylover]

Hi everyone

Looking for tips and advice please. I'm a sahm at the moment and will be for a while yet. My husband works very hard and earns just enough to pay for everything for us but there's not really much left over for luxuries after bills.
He gives me a set amount each month (he can't give me more) out of which I need to buy food, petrol, my phone bill and anything else I want. This combined with child benefit works out I can spend £12.40 a day.

My problem is if I was at work I would be busy working all day so no need to spend on things plus id be earning too. But being a sahm I am not working, thus not earning. I have on average 31 long lonely days a month to fill but no money to do anything.

The money I have only covers the food, petrol and phone. There is zero left for anything else.

How can I spend my days without spending any money at all? Any tips? What do other stay at home parents do? I walk the dog. See relatives. Or stay home 90% of the time cleaning, reading or on socal media which is extremely boring and each day is like groundhog day.

If I met a friend for lunch or coffee that costs money I don't have.
If I go shopping I can't buy anything, and even if I didn't buy anything I'd have to pay parking.
If I go to a gym or swimming id have to pay membership. The list is endless.

It doesnt help as a couple of mum friends at school are very rich and don't work and are out every day getting pampered or having lunch or drinking champagne in spas.

I haven't been to a hairdresser in 10 years. Never had nails done or anything like that. Never spend on myself. It's all getting very depressing

If he's very senior, you wonder how his junior colleagues make ends meet.

Bit weird to specifically say "We have recently bought a puppy to keep me company" if it was free.

I'd love to have time to grow my own veg, do economical batch cooking, volunteer, learn new skills.

Meeting people for coffee is more or less free if you meet in one anothers' homes.

In summary, there's nowt as queer as folk.

Live and let live. Some people sound jealous I think!

I don’t understand how your husband is very senior in his position, but does not earn enough for you to have any decent disposable income at all? Could you please explain this? People can help if they know what your income and outgoings are, there are almost always ways to budget more efficiently.

It’s a bit mean to say people are jealous. The OP sounds pretty low and miserable; she seems to be living an empty existence.

Get rid of the dog. They cost a fortune in food, injections and insurance. Ours is a lab and costs us about £80pcm all in.

I'm not sure why you're saying it's not feasible to work.

Your children are all at school. Couldn't you do some cleaning, shop work, receptionist?

You can help towards childcare, are there any holiday clubs local to you?

If you took a part time job you wouldn't have to cover every single day of the holidays.

It’s a bit mean to say people are jealous. The OP sounds pretty low and miserable; she seems to be living an empty existence.

I agree! I am baffled and frustrated by the OP, not jealous!

I can't see why I'd want to swap my well paid job, combined with my husband's well paid job, for a situation where he was working and I was bored and alone with a pittance to enjoy myself...

I’m also baffled, not jealous! There’s no way I’d give up working to stay at home worrying about money and having no treats. Each to their own

I am not jealous.

I work, dont get bored can afford to get my hair or nails done and if dp walked out tonight I can afford to pay my Bill's.

What exactly should I be jealous of? It's not like OP is particularly happy with her lot, is she.

It sounds rather as if your husband isn't keen on your building any kind of network outside the home.

Yes, the discrepancy with his "very senior" job, and the lack of money, could indicate that he's financially abusive. OP says he also has no money to spend on himself, but he could be sticking it all in savings without her knowledge.

Financial abuse could also be the reason why he doesn't want her to go out to work, and she's doing what abused women do, and sticking up for him, making out that it's her that doesn't want to go out to work, because she's embarrassed.