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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help- ndn and dv what should I do ??

103 replies

Shamoogren · 02/04/2019 12:10

Help. New ndn moved in one month ago. My friend on the other side heard him being verbally abusive a couple of weeks ago. Yest I heard what can only be described as taunting, then him shouting very very loudly, then thumps and smashing noises then crying. It was in the afternoon I was home unwell. It was literally so loud through the wall it was as though he was in the room with me. God forbid. I immediately phoned my friend who owns the house to tell her as I did not know what else to do - she phoned the letting agent who phoned them to say that if it happens again notice will be served.

I feel terrible for her and how to get her the help she needs. His daughter visits every other weekend so it is no doubt a cp concern to me. I'm terrified of him as a result and certainly don't want him to target me, unlikely as that most probably is.

What is the best thing to do? Obviously my first concern is for the woman's welfare not for them to be evicted.

OP posts:
SweepTheHalls · 02/04/2019 12:11

Call the police not the letting agent!

HoHoHolittlepea · 02/04/2019 12:12

so confused as to why you called your friend and not the police?

Original poster
Shamoogren · 02/04/2019 12:13

I didn't know what to do - it was a huge shock to hear and that was my first thought

OP posts:
Original poster
Shamoogren · 02/04/2019 12:14

I will call the police next time

OP posts:
Original poster
Shamoogren · 02/04/2019 12:14

Also because ndn who owns the house is a good friend and said to tell her in case of any problems

OP posts:
Kezebel · 02/04/2019 12:17

I will call the police next time

Words fail me.

Original poster
Shamoogren · 02/04/2019 12:19

Seriously? If you are at home and hear screaming and crashing for the first time next door would you call the police?

OP posts:
tkband3 · 02/04/2019 12:20

This poor woman needs help and support, not to be evicted. Next time (and there will be a next time) it happens, please call the police. In the meantime, if you see her at all, be friendly to her, as it may be comforting for her to know that there is someone close by who may be able to help in an emergency.

Original poster
Shamoogren · 02/04/2019 12:21

Please could I just have a sensible range of optionins on what I should do to keep her safe and me safe? Should I contact the police retrospectively?

OP posts:
TheQueef · 02/04/2019 12:21
Hmm
Chocolateisfab · 02/04/2019 12:23

Keep a diary op. I have rang about ndn as it happened. Police arrived in mins. They know it was me. Actually thanked me for taking steps to safeguard the victim. (the ndn did). I would ring police for advice.

Tomtontom · 02/04/2019 12:25

Call the police now.

My neighbour was murdered by her husband. None of us knew what was going on so we couldn't get her help.

Serving notice on a vulnerable woman is fucking evil.

ShitAtScarbble · 02/04/2019 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ShadowHuntress · 02/04/2019 12:27

^This

Newyearnewname2019 · 02/04/2019 12:29

Phone the police. Nothing else is acceptable in this situation.

tenbob · 02/04/2019 12:30

Seriously? If you are at home and hear screaming and crashing for the first time next door would you call the police?

Yes. That is literally the most obvious decision anyone would have to make.

If it happened in the street, would you a) call the police or b) call your friend?

Words fail me

cloudymelonade · 02/04/2019 12:31

Please could I just have a sensible range of optionins on what I should do to keep her safe and me safe? Should I contact the police retrospectively?

A sensible range of options?

Okay

Option 1: Call the police and potentially save this woman's life

Option 2: Don't and live with the potential consequences

CostanzaG · 02/04/2019 12:32

Call the police immediately.

My best friend's NDN heard a similar thing one night and didn't report it. The next morning her son son found her dead - her partner had killed her.
Tell the police please.

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/04/2019 12:32

Do you realise she was probably hit again for “ nearly getting them both evicted”. Because that will be how he will see it.
How could you be so stupid?

CostanzaG · 02/04/2019 12:33

Oh and that was the first time she had heard anything....

Anothertempusername · 02/04/2019 12:34

So not the letting agents have warned them he will take hat out on her. Of course you call the police. If someone was attacking you would you want someone to call your landlord??!!

Wow. Words fail me. You should be ashamed OP.

AuntieCJ · 02/04/2019 12:34

I can understand the OP having concerns for her own safety and panicking. She said in the OP she was unwell and was probably not thinking straight. It was a shock.

If you are afraid of the man then report anonymously, saying you were passing the house.

justmyview · 02/04/2019 12:38

You can report to police or to social work. Reports can help to build up a picture of what's going on in the family home, even if insufficient evidence to prosecute

Singlenotsingle · 02/04/2019 12:38

Call the police. You did what you thought was right this time, but NEXT TIME CALL THE POLICE.

Iggly · 02/04/2019 12:39

Yes I would call the police!!!

My neighbours had a really loud argument - I could hear the words and established that it was just words and both sides.

But I was ready to dial 999 - I grew up in a house with DV and it was fucking shit.