AIBU to think teacher and possibly school way out of line and WWYD?

[AstoundedandConfounded]

Name changed in case I somehow out myself!

I was mistakenly sent an email by a teacher from DS's school, which said about me "Don't you just wish you could tell her to piss off. It's clear where DS gets it from."

Just to clarify DS is in 6th form and I've emailed the school 3 times in his 6 years, so I'm not an annoying helicopter mother.

I am not happy about any of this, to say the least. I've been in touch with the head, shared the email and said I want to discuss it and received an apology back.

I have a meeting set up for this Thursday and am struggling to know how best to handle it. The issue I originally emailed in about was handled so badly that I think that is still my priority but I'm really hacked off that teachers are bad mouthing me and my DS (who is a good pupil) in emails.

WWYD?

Odd that they have your email address so readily to hand. All the schools once worked in have staff address books, all obviously ending the same way, so the chances of entering an incorrect external email address is low.

Also odd for a teacher to put that in writing...while you may let off steam with a close colleague in a similar vein, never in writing because it can be construed as much more than venting after a tough day.

Altogether strange situation :/

I don't find it strange at all. Do you not have auto fill? I once wrote an email to a colleague about a family (perfectly legit and professional email) but because I was thinking of the family it was the mum's name I started typing into the address bar. Her email was autofilled and I almost sent the email to her instead of to my colleague. Fortunately I checked in time, but actually there was nothing in the email I would have regretted the family seeing so it wouldn't have been awful if it had gone to the wrong person.

Like you say you still have to select the option on autofill. The combination of circumstances seem unlikely to me that's all. Staff committing something like that to email is highly unusual then it gets sent to the mum involved.

Coincidences do happen I suppose.

@domton OP had just emailed them about the policy not being followed, they probably replied instead of forwarding to their colleague with their shitty comment. Very easily done!

Not necessarily. It's fairly clear that the sender knew that his/her views would fall on sympathetic ears, and the exchange suggests that this was not a one-off.

Do you really think it is acceptable to discipline the intended recipient of the email? How would you feel if a colleague sent you an unprofessional email and you were then given a verbal or written warning, just for receiving it?

I imagine the head will have talked to both the relevant parties at the school about the email. As at least one pp has said, the writer of the email was probably confident that their remarks would be acceptable to, if not condoned by, the intended recipient.

The thing is, emails do get sent to wrong people so it's clearly not that odd.

As at least one pp has said, the writer of the email was probably confident that their remarks would be acceptable to, if not condoned by, the intended recipient.

That is an assumption and can not form the basis of disciplinary action in the workplace.

The op emailed in and her email was replied to, not forwarded to colleague as intended.
No-one had to look up an email address or autofill

Amazed that a teacher could be so stupid. The rule 're work emails is don't put anything in an email to or about anyone that you wouldn't say to their face. An email is a permanent record and may be disclosable in the casecof an FOI request.

Great result OP, especially having your mind put at rest about how your ds is regarded at school, and the reassurance that any issues won't be dealt with by these members of staff.

You did absolutely the right thing in not getting involved with their own internal disciplinary or whatever proceedings - you can just keep focused on your ds.

Thanks for the update.

Request a Subject Access. I bet there is a tonne of other things they've said about you over email! To sloppily include you in copy makes me suspect its a regular occurrence.

If nothing else comes back, they'll at least know you're taking it very seriously.

HamCheeseHamnCheese

I agree. You need to see anything they have put in writing about you or your son.