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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This annoys me - house guest

242 replies

kamillaw · 30/03/2019 20:52

We have family staying one has moved all my scented candles and switched off my lovely plug in thingy. It's annoyed me no end. AiBU

OP posts:
Whatdoyouknowwhenyouknownowt · 31/03/2019 18:59

I have sensory issues with smells, noise, etc. It's very stressful as the smells are way stronger for me than other people, it's a choice between turn them off or leave.

Brian9600 · 31/03/2019 19:06

Totally agree, SmellySocks. Amazed at people effectively saying “its your house so fuck ‘em”. Obviously the OP could behave like this but why would she want to?

MadameAnchou · 31/03/2019 19:10

Totally agree, SmellySocks. Amazed at people effectively saying “its your house so fuck ‘em”.

I'm equally amazed at people effectively saying, 'Well, if something bothers you in someone else's house, just remove it.' Again, 'Well, I'm allergic to dogs or their smell sets my senses off so I'll just put yours outside whilst I'm there' or 'Meat makes me sick to my stomach so whilst I'm at yours I'm getting rid of it' or 'I don't like telly on in the background, it gives me a headache, bothers my senses, so I'll switch yours off whilst I'm there. Fuck asking, it bothers me so I'll do it.'

puppy23 · 31/03/2019 19:12

If you don't like how someone chooses to live in their own home, pay for a hotel

HarrySnotter · 31/03/2019 19:18

What a load of fuss. I hate plug-ins and if I was staying with at someones where they were used, I would just ask nicely if they minded switching it off. I would assume if someone is staying in your house, it's because you're fairly close to them. Why do some folk find it so difficult to have perfectly normal and reasonable conversations with people, why has everything got to be a drama or some kind of 'slight'?

JaneEB · 31/03/2019 19:26

Probably not, but do they have any pets with them? We often travel with our birds, those things would be lethal to them.

DoubleDaffodil · 31/03/2019 19:32

lovely plug in thingy. is an oxymoron.

Still rude to switch it off without asking though.

viques · 31/03/2019 19:32

I have sympathy with switching off the plugin things. We were in a rented cottage once that had them everywhere, went around and switched off all the ones I could find but could still smell one. Took me hours to track the little bastard down, it was in the under stairs cupboard, hidden behind an ironing board. I was very tempted to mangle it in some way to disable it and save the next people the trouble........

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 31/03/2019 19:34

It's probably an allergies thing. I had one of those diffusers in my room with the sticks in, not a cheap one, and I had to move it outside as I couldn't stop sneezing and kept having a runny nose. YABVVU.

Skinnypigs · 31/03/2019 19:41

Those plug in things are the work of the devil and I would hesitate to visit someone with them, let alone stay.. They should have asked you if they could remove them though.

SevenSeasofRye · 31/03/2019 19:53

I throw these in the bin in public areas - they make me really ill and are incredibly bad for you. They are very toxic and wreck the nervous system.

SevenSeasofRye · 31/03/2019 19:53

Plug ins I mean, not scented candles - unless they are are cheap ones which are also toxic.

Serialweightwatcher · 31/03/2019 20:12

They should have asked you if you minded because it bothers them - don't think they should just switch stuff off without asking - let them stay elsewhere in future

MadameAnchou · 31/03/2019 20:13

I throw these in the bin in public areas

Do you do this in other people's homes, throw their property away without their permission Hmm?

MrsBadCrumblesClarinet · 31/03/2019 20:14

I don't understand the flaming you're getting OP. I use plug ins and scented candles. If a guest asked me to turn off/remove them of course I would but I would be insulted if someone removed them without saying anything.

Also does anyone have any links to evidence base re plug ins causing cancer? Confused

PlainPiglet · 31/03/2019 20:30

Evidence that they emit pollutants:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-35281338
and

www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0360132316304334

MadameAnchou · 31/03/2019 20:35

I use Arran Aromatics diffusers. If a guests found this gave them a sore head or irritated their senses I'd be happy to move them but wouldn't be pleased if they moved them without asking or put them in a bin like one person said she does with other peoples' property whilst visiting their homes.

GrumpyGran8 · 31/03/2019 20:45

Also does anyone have any links to evidence base re plug ins causing cancer?
I doubt there's any firm evidence of that. But IMO they should be banned anyway, just for their godawful cheap artificial stink!

ChipSandwich · 31/03/2019 20:53

He had 3 dogs and was trying to mask the smell

Can people smell their own dogs? I've always thought they couldn't

Tinkerbelle57 · 31/03/2019 20:55

I am amazed at some of these replies. RUDE
I say each to their own and live and let live.
I have used plug ins in the past but not often. Their are a couple of scented candles I like but they are not cheap.
However, you don’t go into someone’s home and turn things off or remove them, unless it’s in the room they are sleeping in. It would be polite and courteous to mention it to their host. 😀

Legallygrey · 31/03/2019 21:04

any chance someone could be pregnant? I know you said up thread it was a he but could the he have done it on behalf of someone else? I had to hide air fresheners in my in laws house when in the throes of pregnancy sickness and still nobody twigged!

jwpetal · 31/03/2019 21:14

Those things are so overpowering sometimes. My ds and dd both have asthma and my husband has allergies. I have to give everyone medicine before we go to those houses and then ensure inhalers are at the ready. If we stay the night, I unplug the scents in the room that we are staying. I would not do it in the main house, but I have asked for them to be turned off. One is okay but in every room it can be not nice. Try to see if from their side. Perhaps a though about why you need them and the impact they have on air quality.

blueluce85 · 31/03/2019 21:37

People saying it is rude.... Well it is a family member and I'm sure they are comfortable making themselves at home....thats a great thing IMHO
And if the headaches are known to the OP... Why not turn them off before the guest arrived as a thoughtful gesture??

WorriedMum11 · 31/03/2019 21:39

I get the most horrible headaches from plug in scents and candles

gairytoes · 31/03/2019 21:49

Rude for them not to ask.

And if anyone can point me in the direction of a candle you can smell with a lid on, it sounds amazing. TIA