This annoys me - house guest

[kamillaw]

We have family staying one has moved all my scented candles and switched off my lovely plug in thingy. It's annoyed me no end. AiBU

Maybe they are struggling to breathe. I would.

Plug ins are disgusting and scented candles smell awful. All of that stuff is toxic. What’s wrong with just breathing natural air?

Very rude not to ask you in my view. Solution - don't have them staying again.

At least you'll be burning more calories yourself, getting stressed, worked up or offended is a great way to lose a couple of pounds. She is doing you a favour 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♀️🤹‍♂️

We don't have candles, air freshener sprays, or plugins. They make me cough, and I dont think they're good for the animals.

Loads of scented candles absolutely reek even when they aren’t lit! It just won’t be noticeable to you, as often when you have been around a smell for a while you don’t realise how strong it is. Oh and natural essential oils can be just as dangerous for allergies as artificial fragrances: a lavender oil diffuser would be the kiss of death for me!

I think if you knew they didn’t like your scented stuff, because they’d already told you, it would have been polite to put it all away before they came and open the window for some fresh air!

I really struggle with scented candles and plug ins. Have asthma and they don't help but they also trigger migraines.
I'd also move things away from me and switch off plug ins in the room I was being accommodated in.
Shared space - I'd ask you nicely to switch off the plug in thing and not to light the scented candles.

Them rude!

Perhaps they think the same about you poisoning them with nasty artificial cancer causing chemicals.

I would have put everything straight in a cupboard and opened a window. No need to apologise as it was inconsiderate to leave them out. As for a plug in...beyond naff.

I'm sorry but I am being hospitable. The candles have LIDS on. No perfume smell is escaping. My atomiser is new.

You have posted twice that they have lids on. I am a huge fan of essential oils & incense sticks but I still don’t expect gutests to suffer it if they are staying over night and they are not fans. Lids on really strong scented candles doesn’t stop the smell.

Those plug ins are grim btw. The smell is awful and cloying.

YABU yet despite multiple posters being kind and saying your guests are doing the right thing you are still disagreeing.

So yes, YABU.

Is your guest spending time in the shared area where these things are, with you? If so then YABU to have the stuff in there when you know how he reacts to them.

Either way YABU - it's not like he repainted your walls because he didn't like the colour you used, or pit your food in the bin because it wasn't to his taste. He took a simple step to stop himself being ill. No long term damage done and you just plug it all back in once he's gone.

Probably the epitome of a 1st world problem.

If your candles need lids to contain the smell even when unlit, they're too strongly scented. And the lids don't contain the smell of too-strong candles. Only burying them deep in a concrete bunker and salting the earth then jettisoning them into outer space does that.

So they have moved unlit candles with lids on? How bizarre

No, it’s not. The lids are never tight fitting. Given the smell overload many people live in, I’m not surprised people can’t smell unlit candles, but it doesn’t mean other others can’t.

It’s not just chemicals, I can’t be around most essential oils either.

I hate the smell of these things. It was a bit rude, but I can understand it!

I now risk anaphylaxis from plug-ins and scented candles. Even if that doesn’t happen, I still break out in hives. I would have had to turn around and leave your home instantly.

Before the allergy progressed to that they just made me miserable. So miserable that it has impacted my opinion of people who use them in a very negative way.

They should have said something to you first, but I would have done the same thing.

A lot of the chemicals in those faux scents are toxic and can act as hormone disrupters.

They make me very sick to the point of migraine, vomiting.

I went to one of DH's friends houses for new year and had to go to bed at half midnight because the smell of the plug-in had knocked me sick and given me a thumping headache (I'd only had one glass of Prosecco to drink).

They are absolutely nauseating and unnecessary.

Candles with lids on are still enough t trigger a migraine, asthma, or allergy for some people, including me.

Essential oils may not be artificial, but they still make many people sick.

YWBU to use the plug in if you knew beforehand that one of your guests gets headaches.

They were rude to move the candles/switch the plug in thing off, unless the items were in the room they would be sleeping in, in which case they weren’t.

Why would you leave a plug in giving off a perfume if you know that it's a problem for your family member? It like people who are allergic to a food and others belittle them by claiming it's just because they don't like it. I get severe asthma attacks and migraines from certain perfumes. Not quite sure what does it, but rather than experimenting I just avoid all perfumes. If I was staying somewhere where there was a plug in, I would immediately unplug it (to avoid a trip to the ER) and then maybe tell the host, or maybe not.

The candles have LIDS on. No perfume smell is escaping.
Probably not true.
Whilst there may be no smell for you, or me for that matter, I would imagine that for someone with a high sensitivity there is.
I have a work colleague who is highly sensitive and prone to migraines from smells. Doesn't take much to trigger a headache and we try and be as sensitive as we can which includes going easy on the 'smells' when we know we have to spend time together in meetings etc.
I can't imagine being angry over something like this. It's not personal OP so stop taking it as such.

They have done no damage to anything of yours, why so annoyed?
It just isn’t a big deal.

Those plug in things smell bloody awful - cheap and nasty.

I’d have asked first, but couldn’t tolerate them.

I'm very reactive to lots of fragrances/squirty things/Febreeze type stuff. I'm not sure what the ingredient is that sets it off. But it's horrible when it does react. Think throat closing up eyes watering and just feeling like you're going to die right now and you won't be too far wrong.

I've explained this to my friends and they have all utterly understood. But businesses have mostly only smiled and nodded and gone on as before. Apart from Prospect Hospice Charity Shop which has changed policy and now is completely accessible again for me. Thanks chaps!

Good grief, some of the comments!

OP YANBU I'm sure you don't have a full Yankee candle shop in your house. Your guest is not being unreasonable to move the candles and switch off the plug in but they should tell/ask you about doing it.

As they are family (and have been round before because you know they don’t like them) I don’t understand why they are staying. I wouldn’t stay in a house with scents and plugins but I’d stay somewhere close instead. Or not stay over. (I understand neither of this may be an option for them)
Seems outrageous they moved them without asking you !
If it were in their bedroom then I wouldn’t be upset at all but in your living space they should have asked.
Hat all forms of smells. Would actually far prefer to smell dog than false masking smells plus dog.
Good luck op