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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This annoys me - house guest

242 replies

kamillaw · 30/03/2019 20:52

We have family staying one has moved all my scented candles and switched off my lovely plug in thingy. It's annoyed me no end. AiBU

OP posts:
WoollyMummoth · 30/03/2019 21:30

I’d be much happier with the doggy smell!

strathmore · 30/03/2019 21:30

Plugins are terrible for eczema and asthma. I would have to switch them off or leave.

MoreSlidingDoors · 30/03/2019 21:30

I stayed at my cousin’s studio flat a while back. It’s tiny. I counted over 35 scented candles, 4 atomiser things, 6 plug ins and goodness knows what else. She uses those unstoppables on everything. And gallons of zoflora. Nothing was the same scent. It was fucking horrible. So much so that I left in the middle of the night and went to a hotel.

The woman lives right by the sea. All she needs to do is open a window and her flat would smell amazing. And not be toxic to humans.

Fluffyears · 30/03/2019 21:31

Plug ins are a massive fire risk. Please stop using these!

LaurieMarlow · 30/03/2019 21:34

Look, I’m not a fan of all the scented stuff either, but if you’re availing of someone’s hospitality, yes it would be good manners to ask before unplugging.

And if it bothers you that much, perhaps an hotel or air bnb would be more appropriate.

CheekyChappy710 · 30/03/2019 21:35

You know they bother these people yet you didn't switch them off/put them away before they visited? You're rude as fuck.

Di11y · 30/03/2019 21:36

scented plug in would give me a migraine, maybe they didn't think it would be a big deal.

Petalflowers · 30/03/2019 21:36

So they have moved unlit candles with lids on? How bizarre.

londonrach · 30/03/2019 21:38

I didnt realise people used plug ins nowa days. Its not good environmentally to use energy to heat up toxic chemicals. Think its a fire risk too. They all do smell strange yabu

Original poster
kamillaw · 30/03/2019 21:39

I'm sorry but I am being hospitable. The candles have LIDS on. No perfume smell is escaping. My atomiser is new.

I will take the plug in comment on board re their danger to humans.

OP posts:
Aria999 · 30/03/2019 21:39

They give me asthma and hayfever. I discreetly moved one that was right outside our room when we were staying with parents as I didn't want to be complainy but couldn't breath!

However, moving several items in a shared space is a bit pointed. Sounds like maybe he was upset you didn't turn them off when he said he didn't like them?

If a guest said this to me I would remove stuff while they stayed, within reason.

Baby2namehelp · 30/03/2019 21:39

Our recent house guest went out, got drunk and bought a random woman back to our home. So count yourself lucky they’ve just moved the candles!

puppy23 · 30/03/2019 21:41

If you don't like them, fine, don't have them in your house. But if someone else has been kind enough to let you stay, at least have the decency and respect to ask before moving things or turning them off. Yanbu

Pinkbells · 30/03/2019 21:45

It is lovely to have the scents in the house but some people are allergic. I would assume that was the case if someone moved mine.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 30/03/2019 21:49

I haven't lit them as I know they don't like them
So you know they don’t like them but had them out and defuses in anyway?

Bluntness100 · 30/03/2019 21:49

I don't really understand, if you know they give this person headaches, why would you invite them to stay and have a plug in? That's a bit sadistic really.

HotpotLawyer · 30/03/2019 21:51

I can’t bear scented candles, incense, plug-ins, air fresheners etc. They give me s headache and make me feel ill.

But I would politely ask if they could be moved or switched off.

AnnaMagnani · 30/03/2019 21:52

Your guest suffers with headaches.

For someone with allergies/asthma/headaches candles and plugins are just a form of indoor air pollution. Those stupid sticks need binning too.

I'd have switched them off and moved them out of the way as well, hoping you didn't notice until I'd left. You may think no perfume smell is escaping with the lids on but to a headache prone person there certainly will be.

My SIL has the sticks in her downstairs loo. I needed my inhaler after I'd used it. Am now mulling over the embarrassment of having to ring her to ask her to get rid before I visit again or risk it and just sit with my legs crossed.

CheekyChappy710 · 30/03/2019 21:55

YABU because you cant even see that you're in the wrong

whitesoxx · 30/03/2019 21:57

The candles still smell even with lids on.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 30/03/2019 21:59

I will take the plug in comment on board re their danger to humans

And your poor dog's sensitive nose Grin

Seriously, you don't need all that stuff, just cos you have a dog. So long as dog is reasonably clean and your house is cleaned and well aired, all is fine.

If you actually like all the smells then that's different of course. Just keep to one flavour at a time, and remember that nose blindness will stop you smelling something that could be overpowering to someone else.

Grumpasaurus · 30/03/2019 22:00

I would probably have moved them without asking as they would trigger a migraine but wouldn't want to offend you by making it seem that what you had offered wasn't good enough... hard to explain as I am normally very confidant and forthright, but I would find it hard to ask about this for some reason!

Weepingwillow5 · 30/03/2019 22:00

Plug ins give me awful migraines - I always switch them off .

Youngandfree · 30/03/2019 22:02

If they had asked or given an explanation I wouldn’t mind, but to just go about moving things and switching things off without permission is just plain rude imo!!

Belenus · 30/03/2019 22:02

YABU. Candles having lids on wouldn't stop them smelling. I would feel sick with all that stuff around. It would be more polite for them to ask but really, just move the stuff back when they're gone.