to feel upset that my kids were called rude

[ricardot]

I had a run in with someone and she asked to talk about it to clear the air which we did. She was quite angry and said her bit which was fine but then she brought my kids into it saying that they're really really rude. I was taken aback and couldn't actually believe that she was even saying that.
My kids can be a bit cheeky and I have never had any complaints about them being rude. I found it really offensive and I just am so livid at her for attacking my kids when they're not even part of our dispute. The example she gave was pretty vague and she couldn't tell me in what context it was said either.
Dh thinks im overreacting and it's just meh. Some ppl might find them offensive but that's their problem. Im not sure.
I don't even know why im posting! I guess would you be offended or just meh.

When I was around 8, my aunt threatned to hit me. I can't for the life of me remember what exactly I was doing to prompt it, but she didn't say it for no reason. I was definatly being very rude to her. I told her I would hit her back, I know now that she never would have actually hit me she just wanted me to stop being so cheeky.

So there is probably a strong possibility that your DD is rude, but the fact is, shes 5. You have plenty of time to correct it. Also one incident doesnt count for overall rudeness. She could have just been having a moment, it happens.

What would be your definition of a child being cheeky or downright rude? Depends on what goes in your home I guess? Some kids have no concept of being polite such as pleases and thank yous because their parents aren't! Sad fact of life.

How old are they?
A bit cheeky means different things at different ages. At 2, they just haven’t yet learned social skills and what’s generally acceptable to most people. Still like it at 5/10, that’s probably rude.

Sounds on a par with that old parental excuse in school, 'He were only messing' whenever the class toerag has been in trouble.
It's all about definition and expectations.

I would have thought most people would have been more upset about the threat to hit(!) your child than the calling rude, so a bit amazed that came out as a drip feed

Indeed. That would have been my subject line.

someone I know is home schooling their 3 boys, saying they need to learn life skills. This involves them running riot around the estate. They built a rope swing with a tyre very enetrerprising you might think but it was in someone's garden with no permission while the householders were at work. Years ago my mom used to say ' They'll end up on the gallows ' I think they'll learn to steal cars ,discover drugs from older boys and end up in young offenders institution or whatever it's called now

The British use euphemisms to avoid giving offence. Downright outrageously insolent, disruptive behaviour in classrooms is laughed off as ‘banter’. If someone has actually plucked up the courage to depict your children as ‘rude’ when you think they are ‘cheeky’ I am afraid that there is a problem.

If my kids had been called rude by another adult I would have hauled them over hot coals. But they knew this and they never were.

Sounds like this woman is the rude one. She threatens to hit your five year old, your 5 year old says she will hit back. Your dd is the rude one in her eyes. for retaliating...defending herself?

She sounds rude and not someone i want around dc anyway. I would have been 'rude' and told the woman if she tried hitting my dd I'd flatten her.

I would really think about what they say and do. If you think they are 'a bit cheeky' then chances are they are rude - we all have a blind spot where our children are concerned, but unless you want people to thoroughly dislike them then it might be time to really watch how they behave with others. If people like you and think you have good manners it opens so many doors in life; the rude and insulting, however many qualifications they might have, don't endear themseles to anyone.

No hoppingpavlova the code is the children are ‘behaving’ out of fear. Personally I don’t want my children to be mindlessly compliant.

Nope, you don’t tell other people their kids are rude. She obviously used it as an opportunity to attack you considering it wasn’t the issue you were discussing. She’s being rude. And people, remember who’s the adult.

My kids are cheeky and can appear rude. And everyone’s interpretation of rude differs. A young kid not saying hello could be perceived as rude but the parents probably know that they’re introverted and not intentionally being rude. I don’t need someone else to remind me who has no business or ability to help and is probably just taking some joy out of it.

Is this an episode of “Shameless”?

Sounds like she/he will be the next prime minister.

Dump the person.

My children may on occasion have been called rude, but they aren't unkind and have not been called that, which is more important to me.

Sometimes sticking up for yourself can be called rude. Usually by somebody who is both cruel and rude.