to feel upset that my kids were called rude

[ricardot]

I had a run in with someone and she asked to talk about it to clear the air which we did. She was quite angry and said her bit which was fine but then she brought my kids into it saying that they're really really rude. I was taken aback and couldn't actually believe that she was even saying that.
My kids can be a bit cheeky and I have never had any complaints about them being rude. I found it really offensive and I just am so livid at her for attacking my kids when they're not even part of our dispute. The example she gave was pretty vague and she couldn't tell me in what context it was said either.
Dh thinks im overreacting and it's just meh. Some ppl might find them offensive but that's their problem. Im not sure.
I don't even know why im posting! I guess would you be offended or just meh.

Where does it say the woman threatened to hit the child?

Why does your husband think some people will think your children are offensive?

And yes of course it's wrong to hit a child, or even consider it.

That was meant to be adult threatened to hit child. Child then answered back. She didn't explain why she even threatened to hit child in the first place.

Cheeky = rude imo

So true.

Telling an adult "fine then" is rude.,
Not clear who threatened to hit who, though

She was out of order then, totally, and I wouldn’t allow her access to your children again.

However, it does still sound like your children could be rude and allowed to do whatever they like.

Prevent access with her and deal with your kids behaviour too.

You sound like you have the blinkers on a wee bit.
And if deep down you genuinely thought there was no truth in what the woman said, then you probably wouldn't have reacted so vehemently, or saw the need to post on here

If your kids are rude to other people then it is your problem, so instead of being so defensive about it, speak to your children and parent them.

That was meant to be adult threatened to hit child. Child then answered back. She didn't explain why she even threatened to hit child in the first place.

She sounds deranged. You can’t go round threatening to hit other people’s children! I wouldn’t give a shit what the opinion of someone like that was. She can fuck right off with it.

I'm confused. I have no idea who said what to whom and now I don't care either.
But I do suggest you address your child's manners. If this woman thinks they're rude, you can bet your bottom dollar plenty of other people do too, but have just not had the balls to tell you.

So basically from what you have said your kids are rude and the women is right.

Own it or shut up and do something about it.

They smack for example which we don't. Its not a debate I want to get into. Each to their own. They are a lot more sterner with their kids and as a result the kids are quite very conforming to their parents.

I've have never hit, and rarely lose my temper with my 15 year old and he isn't rude to adults. You don't need to smack for children to have manners.

Answering back is a tricky one I think because yes, it's rude and DC should be able to follow simple instructions and requests from adults, especially adults other than their parents, looking after them, without arguing about it.

But a lot of parents have a much more conversational style with their DC, so that the line between 'asking for clarification' or 'discussing' and 'answering back' or initially refusing, is quite blurred.

I find this interesting because I think good manners are really important and DC is often complimented on them (and often not at all good mannerd at home!). But, I find the phrase 'answering back' very old-fashioned, almost in the 'seen but not heard' genre, as reflecting a much more authoritarian style of parenting than I find constructive.

Own it or shut up and do something about it

MN is cracking me up this morning 😂😂

Are the DCs at the same school? Because if another parent at my DCs school threatened to hit my DC I'd be telling the school, it's a safeguarding concern.

There is a pretty common code.

If parent thinks child is cheeky - child is most likely rude.
If a parent thinks a child is high spirited - child is most likely out of control and annoying as shit.
If a parent thinks a child is strong willed - child is most likely out of control and has a lack of boundaries enforced.
If a parent thinks a child is ‘high energy’ or ‘just a typical energetic boy’ - child is most likely out of control and annoying as shit.

And yes, I have accounted for things like ASD which I have lived through with one of mine. While they had a reason for a lot of their behaviours there was no denying that, a lot of the time it was annoying as shit and I’m not going to deny the reality. Most parents see their kids through an enormous pair of rise tinted glasses.

What age are your children?

What nonsense is this thread. The woman threatened to hit the child, the child answered back. I would have no time at all for someone who threatened to hit my child, I wouldn’t even see them never mind accept their opinions on my child.

So your DC told you the woman has threatened to hit them, you didn't actually hear it yourself?

Brokenwing, is your child polite when somebody threatens to hit them?

as a result the kids are quite very conforming to their parents.

The code breaker for this one is - as a result of whatever parenting methods the parents use (right or wrong) the children behave.

If someone threatened to hit my child Id at least like to know why? Obviously I wouldn't want them hit but I would be wondering what had generated the urge.

HoppingPavlova....am weeping with laughter at your list!!!!

No one here knows what your kids are like. We don't know them.
But the thing that stands out to me is that your own DH said that some adults would see your kids as offensive. I think offensive is way worse than rude. And if my DH said that I would be shocked and taking a long hard look at my kids.

Christ, if an OP said she hit her children she would be crucified. But now HoppingPavlova seems to be condoning this as the better parenting choice?