Can we please discuss 'moving out of the way' for men?

[VladmirsPoutine]

I've frankly had it and have made it my mission to never move out of the way and just sort of pull my whole-self in a forward position so that it's either we're going to clash or he'll side-step out of my way.

Can I ask all you women to do the same?

I was always somehow subconsciously moving - but fuck it. The pavement is as much my right.

Gahh! Just walked back to work and a man whom I did not move out of the way for motioned me to the left but I walked straight through and thought fuck it. He then turned back to call me a bitch.

Hope everyone else is having a lovely Thursday morning!

I had the weirdest moving-out-of-the-way experience the other day. Firstly, I didn't move out of the way of a guy in the shop. Youngish, painting overalls, I was there first and he pointedly barged me out the way even though he didn't need to. Ok, you're a tool I thought.

On the way out of the shop, a guy coming in stepped out of the way to let me out first (polite, I do the same, not a man/woman thing just it's a smallish shop) and as I walked through it I held the door for the guy coming out behind me... the guy from earlier. Who then, as I walk away, shouts after me "YOU'RE WELCOME" as if he'd held the door for me! So, so odd.

Try this... stare over the shoulder in the direction you're going to take. If you stare over a person's left shoulder they will move right. If you stare over their right shoulder they will move left. The most confusing situations seems to happen when you look straight at a person; there's always a fumble.

At least this is my fine-tuning of Patriarchy Chicken, and seems to work best with men so far

Interesting - I can well believe this is a thing. I've realised I constantly defer to other people when I'm walking so have tried PC the last couple of times I've been in London. But I've made a conscious effort to walk fast, shoulders back, head up, and remind myself I could take any of these six foot men with my swordfighting training. 😁 Everyone so far has got out of my way. Not sure what, if anything, that proves.

Yep I tried this in the gym after a class. I we t to put my equipment away and a man who was slightly after me kept on walking and automatically tried to put his things away first. Usually id step back but on this occasion i thought no I'm going to put mine away first. He seemed totally puzzled that i, a woman did not let him go first.
It really brought home to me how most men think in this entitled way.
The next time I was in the gym a group of men were stood blocking the door way. Instead of saying excuse me like I would usually do I just walked through them, then one of them stepped aside.
I'm not asking people to move anymore, unless they are disabled and these men are not.
I remember when I used to work in the city of it was raining if be holding a large umbrella. Men often tried not moving but always did at the last minute. Either move or get stabbed in the head, your choice.
I miss my umbrella carrying days.

I move out of the way for anyone, it's usually necessary as they are eyes down for a full house (on their phones). Better than getting pushed around, I find

I was once crossing a minor side-street and a man driving a (very battered) car refused to stop as he came up to the junction. As I dodged out of the way he leaned out of the open window and said something that was either:

"Move, you silly cunt."
or
"Move your silly cunt."

Mr Darcy he was not. However, judging by the state of him and his car I did feel that I was, on balance, winning at life.

I've started doing this (sort of) in the last few weeks after reading about it. Actually I've been doing what a pp suggested, moving 50% out of the way to see if they'll do the same. Most people do, naturally, as you'd expect. It's London, so there's a lot of micro-adjusting on the pavement, people are adept at this. However, every ten minutes or so (which is still quite a lot!) a man just carries straight on into me, so I've shoulder-barged more in the last few weeks than probably in the rest of my life before. Some of them have thrown a 'sorry' backwards as they steam on, others don't; I haven't encountered any actual abuse yet. I'm quite enjoying it, especially since I'm usually the sort of person who walks fast but makes themselves smaller to avoid people, jumps out of the way, and compulsively apologises for even brushing someone's arm as they go by.

I've stopped apologising when I bang into them now. It's lovely. I hope it extends to the rest of my life and maybe I can stop compulsively apologising for all kinds of things that aren't really my fault.

Much of my experimentation has taken place around Aestkjbatwr too

I've been doing it for years, just walking straight, as a person who has a right to be there, and not budging for a man. What I noticed is that they notice it too, and move aside. I either smile and say thank you, or move aside too, as an acknowledgement of their reaction. They almost never just barge into me.
On a bus, when I had to use one, I'd sit with a straight back and elbows touching the back of a seat and refuse to squeeze into the window if a man next to me decides to spread.

Actually, if a person walking towards me budges, be it a man or a woman, I always move aside too and smile or say thank you.

I find if you walk really tall with your shoulders square then most people move out the way. But it's a fun game anyway. I'm 5ft 9 with a large chest so banging into people is always amusing

The space-hogging is annoying, but it's the manspreading on seats in public places I find most annoying. Not just legs, but using both armrests (if it's a theatre seat or similar) etc. So arrogant and entitled.

I normally move out of the way of everyone (especially dogs as its important to give them space when they're on a lead) as I'm fit, healthy and more observant than other people :-P
You should feel glad that you seem to be the same. I hope when I'm old, ill or just daydreaming people will move out my way. Not dogs though, they should all come and say hi!

It's a few days old thread and I somehow resurrected it - just letting you all know, in case anyone is annoyed or wtf.

It's not something I've ever really noticed but then I think I may be an assertive walker!

It infuriates me when I with my partner walking side by side, even holding hands or linking arms, and it seems to be me who moves out of the way when there is another couple coming towards us. I've even said 'sorry' when they have bumped me.

WHY oh why do I do this. Manners, I have them and they don't.

BUT I do agree with you, totally.

I am better in the car though. I used to give way to others, even when I had the right of way but NO MORE, if I have the right of way, I bloody take it. If the BMW, Jag or Range Rover think they can force me to stop, they have another thing coming, I am capable of making them back up if necessary.

Have a good day.

Another London worker here, I'm tiny and quite smiley (I know! horror!) so have never had this. I make eye contact with anyone on a head-on course and smile, and we usually go left round each other.

Yesterday though a chap nearly took me out as he was trying to overtake a group of slow walkers. Too soon to move, I held my arm up and across my chest as a barrier and he apologised and jumped sideways!

I haven’t noticed this at all. But maybe it’s a size thing? I am large so do tend to look less likely to move out the way.
I drive a very small car and find that I am treated very differently in it to when I drive DH’s much bigger bulkier car.

I have to say I don't notice men are any worse than women. They're equally bad on the texting while walking front.

Groups of people who take up the whole width of the pavement, without making any effort to make space for others to pass through, really annoy me.
It's happened a few times to me and the last time that happened, we literally bumped each other's shoulders but she was too absorbed in her conversation with her other pavement hogger friends, to even acknowledge it.

I drive a very small car and find that I am treated very differently in it to when I drive DH’s much bigger bulkier car

Definitely this. There is a breed of people (especially in affluent aspirational middle class areas like wot I live in) who genuinely think that if they drive a more expensive/larger car, they have more right to be on the road than you do. But not a male thing, females are just as entitled.

I drive a very small car and find that I am treated very differently in it to when I drive DH’s much bigger bulkier car.

My father was shocked by this back in the 80s when he borrowed my Metro when his big obviously expensive car was in for a service. An older man in a small car is treated very differently from an older man in a big, obviously-powerful car.

It's the same way in Denmark. Most young men don't move for anyone. I always move for the elderly, pregnant women, children, disabled etc. But if some guy just walks in my direction and doesn't care to move, I make sure to walk into him. Generally young men here are rude and assholes. Skips in line in queues, walks in front of you when you're about to enter a bus for example.

One time I went out of my way to embarrass a young guy who did exactly this.

Women tend to be rude in a way where they take up several seats with their bags and don't get up for people who need a seat more than them.

In general men are worse though. I'm Danish but sometimes I hate Danish people.

MamaDane, I've heard something about that, but about Swedish people (i.e. not saying sorry if they bumped into you, where a Brit normally would). My native folk are rude bastards as well. The British are such sunshines and angels comparing, and no sarcasm here.

BloodyDisgrace no one says sorry here, you're more likely to get abuse thrown at you or at least a nasty look than a sorry.
Danish transportation is great here, better than the UK, but you're right, the Brits are far more polite people.

I’m sorry but this entire thread is ridiculous.

I have never noticed any of this in my entire life. I had to read the OP several times to try and work out what the actual issue was.

No, I have never come across these men who don’t move aside in the pavement . Who and where are they? I find men, in general, tend to hold doors or move aside more often than not.

I don’t share your experience at all and I’ve never clocked this. If anything, I’ve experienced the complete opposite.

If I think of people who do barge down the pavement, it tends to be teens in groups (male or female) or mums with buggies. That’s it.

No it’s not a “man thing” OP. It’s all in your head.

I've never had an issue with this either when I lived in London or in the south west. Sometimes I move and sometimes they move, depends on the situation (not the gender)

In terms of people blocking pavements and not moving, in my experience that's usually groups of teens or parents with buggies.