Can we please discuss 'moving out of the way' for men?

[VladmirsPoutine]

I've frankly had it and have made it my mission to never move out of the way and just sort of pull my whole-self in a forward position so that it's either we're going to clash or he'll side-step out of my way.

Can I ask all you women to do the same?

I was always somehow subconsciously moving - but fuck it. The pavement is as much my right.

Gahh! Just walked back to work and a man whom I did not move out of the way for motioned me to the left but I walked straight through and thought fuck it. He then turned back to call me a bitch.

Hope everyone else is having a lovely Thursday morning!

If someone acknowledges we are on a collision course and makes any effort to avoid clashing, so will I. If the other person doesn't, i move just enough so that i can deliver a firm jostle with my elbow to make a point.

Invariably 90% of the oblivious ones / ones who think they have the right to sweep through without regard for anyone else are women - typically in the 20-30 bracket.

I move aside slightly for everyone. I don't care what sex they are, it's good manners not to take up more than half the pavement.

With women, children, the old, the disabled - I'm happy to even move considerably out of my way but not with self-important men.

Is it a tallness thing because I'm 5'11 and usually give zero fucks. If we all did this then it would be remarkable.

I work in a university town and the students drive me mad - walking two or three abreast on an arrow pavement and I’m usually walking alone on my lunch break, I noticed I was always moving for the arrogant gits (gender irrelevant as they all do it) not only that no thank you when I had obviously stopped to let them pass. I started carrying on because why the hell am I (lone walker) moving out of way or stopping for people dominating the entire pavement? The other day two female students were walking and taking up the entire pavement, I was walking on the side closest to road - I’m not about to step into the road for them - so I carry on, and lo and behold the girl nearsest me crashed into me. She was surprised and said sorry sorry, and I grumpily said well move then!
It’s not just a bloke issue it’s a mass lacking of common sense and courteousy. I hold doors for men and women, I treat everyone equal and expect courteous from everyone regardless of the gender they identify with!!!
I’m also pregnant so be interesting to see how they all react when my bump is fairly obvious and in the way

it's good manners not to take up more than half the pavement.

It is indeed @SoupDragon but some men didn't get that memo.

I don't move if it looks like I might be expected to scurry out of the way any more.
I've had disgusted looks.
Stand off with a bloke who actually joined the path, decided he wanted to walk where I already was and had the ache when I wouldn't move. I stood there smiling at him for a few seconds. Enough time that it was awkward, he tutted eventually and went round.
The absolute Corker was when I was on crutches, keeping out of the way of people on the underground and some twat did the standoff thing with me then!! I wasnt exactly nimble. I stared at him and said "Well this isn't going to happen is it?"
Absolutely ridiculous.
my mum may have called after him that he was a selfish cunt. Love my mum

I must look like a Cyberman or something because I've never ever encountered this from London or NYC to tiny villages. I've looked for it plenty of times since reading about the "game" too. I tend to walk pretty fast though so perhaps that clears the decks as it were?

Nothing whatsoever to do with the patriarchy. Some women and some men are both guilty of it.

Drive me mad - zombies staring at their phones. I like to stop and let them walk into me. Makes the point. I also tried staring and the ground and walking determinedly, like OP. People moved out of my way but it made me look like too antagonistic to enjoy.

I have compromised on half moving. I expect the man to also half-move. If they don't, they find out I'm fairly solid to bash into.

I find staring into the middle distance helps. Which implies they move for themselves but not for you.

Drives me up the wall and has done for years. I also hate it when couples/groups do it and have adopted a policy that the only time I will step into the road is where the path can only accommodate two people and one of those is obviously reliant on the other - so someone with a disability, a small child holding an adult hand etc. Everyone else, couples, friends, teenagers, people with prams can get to fuck.

I actually find that people never move for me (male) but then I always move first quite early so maybe that's why

One time I got annoyed and refused to move for a (male) schoolkid of about 14/15, he ended up bouncing off my shoulder and me saying 'oh sorry, sorry!'

I love patriarchy chicken!

To those saying it's not just men - do you ever see two men doing the 'I move, you move' dance? Nope, just women being polite and deferential as taught.

It is indeed @SoupDragon but some men didn't get that memo.

It isn't a reason for me to behave like a twat though. I'll move to half the space but no more than that.

Is this a London thing? Like people not habitually thanking bus drivers? Or having manners in public generally?

My experience is almost universally of the two-person 'assess and diverge' approach to passing, which only occasionally ends in an awkward but funny 'sorry' 'sorry', sidestep misjudgement. So British.

The only people who pay no attention and fail to play the game are groups of teenage boys.

To those saying it's not just men - do you ever see two men doing the 'I move, you move' dance? Nope, just women being polite and deferential as taught.

@DerelictWreck EXACTLY!

I tend to move out the way for every one also, I also tend to say ‘thank you’ when I’m passing some one something or holding a door for some one. It infuriates me

I've always assumed that most people move over slightly so both can fit alongside rather than one moves a lot and one doesn't at all. I can't be bothered to take the hump unless someone actually barges into me - life is too short to be constantly angry.

@Ratonastick I think that was me who posted about Patriarchy Chicken

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking not sure which hits of London are still in the 1950s but the places I walk men most definitely do not get out of the way for women. Hence me playing Patriarchy Chicken on a daily basis

To those saying it's not just men - do you ever see two men doing the 'I move, you move' dance?

Yes.

Just wait til this is picked up by the DM and all us feminists are pulled to shit.

I'm not convinced this is a 'thing'. It may happen sometimes but battles need to be picked, and this aint one of mine.

It's just as annoying as the groups of people who will congregate on a narrow strip of pavement next to the crossing and have a long old chat, blocking the way for everyone. thjey simply do not see they are blocking the path.

I awlays hold a door open for the person behind me regardless of who they are.

I will always usher another person to get on the bus before me unless they blatantly walked up and stood in fron of me when I was already waiting (many people do not queue anymore) but in the big scheme of things it's not a big deal.

I do get annoyed by people who stop to text or stop to talk on their phone. It's a MOBILE!! You can still walk or if you can't multitask then move to the side of the pavement please.

do you ever see two men doing the 'I move, you move' dance?

I have seen plenty of mothers doing the 'I'm not moving" walk with a child holding their hand though. I used to guide my child so they were in front if we needed to pass. Apparently some were too important and their children too precious to do this.

Can't say i have noticed either men or women having a monopoly on 'not moving out the way' thing. Usually it's just careless people absorbed with their phones who usually say sorry when they walk into someone. I tend to just subconsciously move if I am on a potential collision course, usually the other person does the same. It's all a bit childish to deliberately walk in to someone to make some half arsed point.

If men didn't do the dance they'd crash into each other. How does that work then?