To be surprised this woman got so cross with my three yr old

[JuniperGinYay]

DD is recently 3, but has good clear speech. She’s small and could be presumed to be 2.

Like many toddlers she’s a bit absolute. We cycled past a woman on a horse in the road, later we saw the same woman at a out door forest cafe.

Dd was sitting with Dd 6 and the woman lent on the next table while her friend saw to the horse, I was getting drinks and in clear sight but not ear shot. Apparently dd3 said ‘horses go in farms, not on the road’ then when the woman disagreed she said ‘yes! Roads are for cars! You scare horse in road!’. Personally I would have just either smiled and wandered off or explained my horse wasn’t scared on the road and was used to it. Instead the woman stomped over and gave me a tirade about what I taught my daughter, her attitude and how I was a ‘presumptuous car driver ‘. Dd was still smiling, now chatting about unicorns and horses to her sister in the same smiley way. I was initially very polite, explained she didn’t actually mean to criticise and just chats away. She’d probably just only seen horses off road or in farm pictures and was basing it on that, not family disapproval of horse riding. I also pointed out we were on bikes. I smiled and all that and tried to be friendly and tone it down, but then she retorted i had no idea how to raise polite children so I also raised my voice and told her to just stay away from the children if she had issue.

I’m still stewing on it today. Bizarre? If she dislikes small children why she even stood so close to a little one (tables scattered out doors in forest area, plenty of space) I don’t know.

My 4 year old has very fixed ideas about where animals belong. He would totally have said something like that.
I once mentioned that camels could be found in the desert. He insisted strongly that they ‘live’ in the zoo and wouldn’t entertain the idea that they could be found in more than one place.

horse riders on lanes are often total wankers. Self indulged, pompous and with delusions of grandeur.

Unfortunately I have to disagree with you. I’m an owner & rider and I’m not self indulged, pompous and certainly don’t have delusions of grandeur. I live in the countryside, in fact in the very village I was born & raised in. I work bloody hard to keep my horse and in my book I am as common muck so certainly no grandeur here. I go without to keep my horse! Please don’t stereotype us all the same way.

cantonwanton

But why though? What specifically do they do to give the impression of being pompous, self indulged and having delusions of grandeur? I'm really interested in what gives this impression to people.
I may be able to explain some of the reasons behind certain behaviour that is happening.
And as for the polite range, it's been debated, however one thing sticks in my mind about it. If you would pass a police horse differently to an average horse, for fear of getting into trouble, then you're not passing horses safely or legally. If you do pass horses safely and legally, then what does it matter if it's a police horse or not? You're doing nothing wrong to be in trouble for. I do get that they are very similar to police attire, but they were probably invented to get people to slow down and drive safely around horses, because there's so many who don't and it's not just the horse and rider at risk, the driver and other road users are too.

“There is no way a 3 year could come up with that reasoning”

Eh?

It’s the exact same logic as my then 3yr old refusing point blank to talk to her favourite nursery teacher in a shop, because she shouldn’t be in shops, teachers are in nursery...always, lol

Riders on the road do get a lot of stick from adult drivers though.

I think the woman was unnecessarily rude and jumped to the wrong conclusion, (that the child was repeating something her mum had said), but I also see why she jumped to that conclusion. Because I can imagine an ill informed adult saying it too.

Love the stories about what young children say on here though. Hilarious.

Sorry Op, but the way you describe it, your daughter sounds 'precocious' cheeky by disagreeing with an adult, it's not something I shouLd be as proud as you seem to be about it. Your DD is little and cute now, but she soon won't be and if you don't check her behaviour now, she will be told off and not understand why, just as you feel now and that will be awful for her.

She was really rude! I'd have been fuming.

I point out horses on the road if we are approaching them to my 3 and 5 year olds and have definitely explained before that I slow down and give them lots of space so they don't get scared so can easily see my 3 year old saying something similar.

Also, we have (non biting!) dogs but my children know some dogs do bite and we must be very careful and never approach/touch a dog without asking the owner so they could also say something similar there too!

And I imagine if she’d known it was just a funny thing the child had come up with on his own, she wouldn’t have been angry. She was angry with the op I think, because she wrongly thought, “roads are for cars, not horses”, was something the op was teaching her children about horses on the road.

She was still very rude regardless though.

when the woman disagreed she said ‘yes! Roads are for cars! You scare horse in road!’.

Don't let it worry you. Horsey woman clearly has selective hearing & chose not to pick up on the fact that - clearly - your yound DD has ALSO heard adults saying car drivers must be careful not to scare horses.

Horsy women can be fucking weird bossy bitches btw.
(Flamer disclaimer - am horsey woman myself)

What a bloody loon, I ride horses but would just laugh if a THREE YEAR old child said something like that to me. Some people are batshit, stop giving idiots headspace, OP.

RSAcre

Horsy women can be fucking weird bossy bitches btw

THIS ^ !

Backatcha BossAssBitch - THIS:

Some people are batshit, stop giving idiots headspace

x

Toddlers think (and therefore talk as they have no inner monologue it seems!) in black and white. What me as someone with a toddler would hear is an opportunity to educate and say yes horses do live on farms, like you live in a house. But sometimes they come out of the farm onto the road and into the woods just like you. So you might see horses on the road again when they're out for a walk.

And an opportunity to reassure. Yes sometimes cars can be a bit scary for horses just like they're scary for you but I look after my horse and tell it everything's going to be OK just like your mummy does with you. The only difference is horses are a bit big for the pavements so they go on the road close to the pavement but you and your mummy walk on the pavement to stay safe.

See. That's not too much out of someone's day to teach a curious child.

Horsy women can be fucking weird bossy bitches btw

Remembers old riding instructor and a few BHS examiners and starts to shake ....... 😳😂

What some people on here might think of as wanker behaviour from horseriders could be them protecting themselves. They are vulnerable road users and at 1/2 to 1 ton each it's very much in your best interests as a fellow road user as well as theirs for you both to do your best to avoid a collision or other accident.

Yes they will wear high viz, yes the "Polite" ones are popular ... because they work best at getting traffic to slow down sufficiently. You shouldn't be doing more then 15 miles per hour when you pass a horse, and you should be giving them a minimum of 5 metres clearance. They may ride in ways that seem odd to you, but that they have good reason to do - like riding double not single file, where there isn't enough room for a car to pass but somebody would try to squeeze through, or to protect a new or nervous horse or rider.

They do have just as much right as motorists to be on the road, they almost certainly would prefer not to be on the road and are only using it to access off-road riding or because there is no off-road riding, and they'd REALLY appreciate it if you slowed right down to pass them wide and slowly, just like cyclists but wider just in case despite best training and efforts the horse with their own mind behaves unpredictably. They don't want to be an accident statistic, and you don't want a ton of bone and meat going through your windscreen.

My 3 year old could easily say similar and she loves horses and do so I. She's just think animals would be scared of getting run over or something.

An older child or adult saying this may be ignorant but a 3 year old - really?!?!

They even wear high vis jackets with "POLITE" on the back in Police colours to try and deceive you into think they're police horses.

No, they wear those jackets because far too many drivers will speed pass a horse dangerously UNLESS they think the rider is in the police.

@tabulahrasa

"There is no way a 3 year could come up with that reasoning”

Eh?

It’s the exact same logic as my then 3yr old refusing point blank to talk to her favourite nursery teacher in a shop, because she shouldn’t be in shops, teachers are in nursery...always, lol

That's exactly toddler black and white logic.

My experience is horse people are very defensive. When it was brought up in a local facebook page about horses pooing all along the path to school all the horsey people got very defensive and apprentley it's not like dog poo and it's totally fine for the kids to get it on their shoes and clothes and to have pram wheels covered in it. Honestly it was across the whole path for long stretches so you couldn't get around it and they didn't accept that maybe they shouldn't walk the horses along the path to school or at least get off and kick it all to the side themselves. They just kept saying they had the right to ride there and couldn't see how they were being inconsiderate. Looking forward to the summer when it all starts again

LeesPosters

All your points are absolutely valid, & many car drivers need education & maybe a sharp kick up the pants ... but excuse me, I have to except this one:

What some people on here might think of as wanker behaviour from horseriders could be them protecting themselves

Angry shouting at/in front of a 3 year old is inexcusable.
How is scaring a child going to protect anyone?

Bluewall

What has all of that got to do with this thread?

Angry shouting at/in front of a 3 year old is inexcusable.
How is scaring a child going to protect anyone?

The op was the only one who said she raised her voice in the op and the 3yo was still happily talking about unicorns I thought...? So not scared. Unless I misread.

What the woman said was really very rude though. Regardless of how loud it was.

Because some people are saying they are defensive etc for their own safety when my experience is they are defensive in general and very much stick together that world vs horse riders.

@RSAcre

I was quoting from somebody else down thread (whose posts I have now lost!), who thought that their local horseriders were wankers, not the OP. I've already posted that whilst I can understand the woman in the OP's post's point of view, she was OTT and completely not appropriate.

She sounds ridiculous OP. Forget it and move on.