To be surprised this woman got so cross with my three yr old

[JuniperGinYay]

DD is recently 3, but has good clear speech. She’s small and could be presumed to be 2.

Like many toddlers she’s a bit absolute. We cycled past a woman on a horse in the road, later we saw the same woman at a out door forest cafe.

Dd was sitting with Dd 6 and the woman lent on the next table while her friend saw to the horse, I was getting drinks and in clear sight but not ear shot. Apparently dd3 said ‘horses go in farms, not on the road’ then when the woman disagreed she said ‘yes! Roads are for cars! You scare horse in road!’. Personally I would have just either smiled and wandered off or explained my horse wasn’t scared on the road and was used to it. Instead the woman stomped over and gave me a tirade about what I taught my daughter, her attitude and how I was a ‘presumptuous car driver ‘. Dd was still smiling, now chatting about unicorns and horses to her sister in the same smiley way. I was initially very polite, explained she didn’t actually mean to criticise and just chats away. She’d probably just only seen horses off road or in farm pictures and was basing it on that, not family disapproval of horse riding. I also pointed out we were on bikes. I smiled and all that and tried to be friendly and tone it down, but then she retorted i had no idea how to raise polite children so I also raised my voice and told her to just stay away from the children if she had issue.

I’m still stewing on it today. Bizarre? If she dislikes small children why she even stood so close to a little one (tables scattered out doors in forest area, plenty of space) I don’t know.

My children have probably never seen a horse on the road and they are much older than 3.

I think they'd be confused to see any animal in the street.

There is no way a 3 year could come up with that reasoning

bollocks. ds is almost 2 almost three, he knows cars go on roads because he sees them all the time, he has probably never seen a horse on a road (we live semi rurally, but the roads I drive on with him in the car are not really routes horses seem to take!) he would probably say why is that horse on the road mummy cars go on the road.. its just what they're used to. If you live rurally, and you see horses on roads all the time, they probably wouldn't bat an eyelid!

Oh god, the things DDs used to say! Stuff like "Look at that fat man!"

Obviously later you point out why that is not acceptable but they don't come up with these things at three because the parents are fattist, they say them because they have no filter.

Also I realised that with DD1 in particular, she was remembering and saying lines from books. Sometimes several weeks later, when I of course had no memory of it. It was only when I read that one again to her that it clicked...

I would mentally file the incident under "batshit woman" and not think anything more about it.

Why would anyone care that much what a 3 yr old thinks about horses. Good grief.

My 2.5 year old almost certainly thinks that cars go on roads, driveways and garages and that horses go in fields, stables and farms because that’s where he sees them and where they are in all his books. I can absolutely see him saying something like this. I don’t think he’d suggest the horses were scared of the cars but he might say cars are dangerous because that’s what we tell him when we have to look before crossing the road.

StepAwayFromGoogle
People love to get a cob on about something. I'd ignore the silly mare and get on with your day.

I see what you did there

Why would anyone care that much what a 3 yr old thinks about horses. Good grief.

When you and your pet's lives are put in danger needlessly because of other people thinking you shouldn't be on the roads, you might get a bit twitchy too.

Yes he was three. I agree she was OTT and handled it badly. But I get where she's coming from.

The woman was definitely unreasonable.

Coming at it from the other side of it though, my daughter rides and the amount of shit she gets from people about horses on roads is unbelievable

She was called a cunt by a delivery driver a few days ago when she was on our quiet lane for the few minutes it takes to get to the next yard along for a lesson

She’s 13

Meh, I would've just laughed and said "ok, then". You can't reason with unreasonable people, just ignore.

The pp who said she "glared" at the other parents about what their kid said about dogs - you are hilarious. Honestly, people who get so offended by what children say.

My 3 year old would totally say something like that. He plays with toy horses on his toy farm so would think that's where they live. I think we may have driven past horses once or twice (not a common sight where we live) and he has lately started commenting if I stop the car or slow down (why have we stopped mummy?) and I would probably say something like "we are going to drive past the horses and we don't want to scare them". Totally reasonable thing for me as a parent to say and my 3 year old to say without meaning to cause offence! They say things how they understand it!

I’m suprised she didn’t take offence to the mention of unicorns as horse shaming

The pp who said she "glared" at the other parents about what their kid said about dogs - you are hilarious. Honestly, people who get so offended by what children say

I agree! I was crucified by four year olds when I used to teach them!

horse riders on lanes are often total wankers. Self indulged, pompous and with delusions of grandeur.

At least that's what it's like with me. None of them live here in the country, but on a nearby estate, then ride into the country as if they own the place as a lord or lady.

Erm trot off back to your 3 bed terrace thanks.

I don't understand all these people who care what random strangers think, never mind a random toddler. You're so unlikely to see them again. I don't even pay attention to what small children at another table might be saying.

It’s not about the child said, I would have put in my post that it was the dad going on about dogs being bad and biting, the child was just repeating. I realise my post wasn’t clear.

My issue is with parents teaching children that animals are bad.

horse riders on lanes are often total wankers. Self indulged, pompous and with delusions of grandeur.

What makes you say that @cantonwanton?

In what way are they those things? Or is it simply because they're sat on a horse and you believe in the stereotype of horse owners?

Just to clarify- I cycle. I rarely have access to a car, and when I do I couldn’t care less about horses. I’ve never given it thought, nor do I know anyone who cares. I’m just ‘meh’ about it, horses are ok and they don’t bother me....

Your daughter is three for for God's sake. I'd have told her not to be such an entitled twat. Can't stand people like that.

Also, we don’t have little lanes here, the few times I’ve seen a horse they’re easy to slow pass while smiling

Brilliantidiot. It's what 70% of the ones are like where I live.

They even wear high vis jackets with "POLITE" on the back in Police colours to try and deceive you into think they're police horses.

But meh, file away under 'people are weird'. Don't waste your energy stewing

This.

Sometimes when people get mad over stupid stuff I like to deliberately make myself look uncomfortable/sheepish/intimidated and just say very little... Quite often makes them realise how over the top they're being .

As for reasoning, she also asked at the end if the lady also had a unicorn

Of course she could have come up with that reasoning. Parent - we have to drive past slowly so we don't scare the horse. Toddler logic -- The horse shouldn't be somewhere it can get scared.

Depending on where you live it's not often you see horses on the road and they're usually sighted on fields or at farms so I can see why a child would be puzzled seeing a horse on the road.

The woman sounds a bit bonkers to me. She should have kept her feelings to herself.