To be surprised this woman got so cross with my three yr old

[JuniperGinYay]

DD is recently 3, but has good clear speech. She’s small and could be presumed to be 2.

Like many toddlers she’s a bit absolute. We cycled past a woman on a horse in the road, later we saw the same woman at a out door forest cafe.

Dd was sitting with Dd 6 and the woman lent on the next table while her friend saw to the horse, I was getting drinks and in clear sight but not ear shot. Apparently dd3 said ‘horses go in farms, not on the road’ then when the woman disagreed she said ‘yes! Roads are for cars! You scare horse in road!’. Personally I would have just either smiled and wandered off or explained my horse wasn’t scared on the road and was used to it. Instead the woman stomped over and gave me a tirade about what I taught my daughter, her attitude and how I was a ‘presumptuous car driver ‘. Dd was still smiling, now chatting about unicorns and horses to her sister in the same smiley way. I was initially very polite, explained she didn’t actually mean to criticise and just chats away. She’d probably just only seen horses off road or in farm pictures and was basing it on that, not family disapproval of horse riding. I also pointed out we were on bikes. I smiled and all that and tried to be friendly and tone it down, but then she retorted i had no idea how to raise polite children so I also raised my voice and told her to just stay away from the children if she had issue.

I’m still stewing on it today. Bizarre? If she dislikes small children why she even stood so close to a little one (tables scattered out doors in forest area, plenty of space) I don’t know.

Big problem with novices who can’t control their animals.

Given that any horse or pony, even those labelled bombproof, can suddenly become frightened and hard for even the most experienced rider to handle, how do you identify which are the novices it is OK to have a big problem with?

You don’t find the “110% tough” comment unnecessarily aggressive, Lavinia, a sort of metaphorical two fingers?

No I don’t. I think you might be being a little overly sensitive tbh.

Even if you shared that opinion with your child, that’s your right. It might’ve been cheeky if the child was 6/7 or over but a 3 year old isn’t much more than a toddler. Woman sounds like she’s got a chip on her shoulder. I’d have told her to jog on

lavinia

No, don’t think so. Tough old bat 😁 110% was a silly comment.

Ultimately, not a problem for me though, just rather novices weren’t injured.

Well, obviously “110%” is a slightly meaningless term, but it isn’t aggressive.

And tough old bat was referring to me, not you btw

@Langrish

I get where you're coming from about novices, and to some extent agree that you shouldn't be on the roads unled if you can't walk/trot/canter independently and securely in a school.
However, every person who has ever ridden regularly has come off at some point. It's a fact of riding. A competent rider and trained horse can come unstuck in unpredictable situations, just like a car driver.
As an example, many years ago I worked with show jumping horses and was hacking one along the road, that led to and from the woods. They were very well schooled, very switched on, but expensive so to go on the roads they had a lot of training. Horse I was on suddenly stopped dead and flatly refused to go past what appeared at first as a normal bit of hedge. I was baffled, and luckily there was only one car. Then the hedge started to move and all the horses tried to turn and run. We stopped them but it was getting serious fast, and if there'd been an impatient driver someone would have been injured, I'm sure. Next thing a bloody calf pops out of the hedge, followed by two more, followed by bellowing enraged mothers. I'm not sure who was more gobsmacked - us or the horses! They went past as soon as they realised what they were, bit full of it, but under control. Had that cattle appeared in front of a car, the outcome could have been dreadful for all. But my point is we may well have looked like novices at that point to someone who doesn't know horses, in fact because we were all experienced and professional grooms on well trained horses stopped anything worse happening than a bit of dancing about and a spin.

I am a horse owner, I fortunately own a few beautiful horses. I have had an almost replica conversation with a young boy once. He was a young boy, and young boys have minds off there own. My own child reads books and where are horses? In fields or farms, certainly not in any roads.
She should have just told your daughter more about horses and smiled politely, she is a three year old girl.

langrish

I wear my Tough Old Bat badge with pride I’ll have you know .