To be surprised this woman got so cross with my three yr old

[JuniperGinYay]

DD is recently 3, but has good clear speech. She’s small and could be presumed to be 2.

Like many toddlers she’s a bit absolute. We cycled past a woman on a horse in the road, later we saw the same woman at a out door forest cafe.

Dd was sitting with Dd 6 and the woman lent on the next table while her friend saw to the horse, I was getting drinks and in clear sight but not ear shot. Apparently dd3 said ‘horses go in farms, not on the road’ then when the woman disagreed she said ‘yes! Roads are for cars! You scare horse in road!’. Personally I would have just either smiled and wandered off or explained my horse wasn’t scared on the road and was used to it. Instead the woman stomped over and gave me a tirade about what I taught my daughter, her attitude and how I was a ‘presumptuous car driver ‘. Dd was still smiling, now chatting about unicorns and horses to her sister in the same smiley way. I was initially very polite, explained she didn’t actually mean to criticise and just chats away. She’d probably just only seen horses off road or in farm pictures and was basing it on that, not family disapproval of horse riding. I also pointed out we were on bikes. I smiled and all that and tried to be friendly and tone it down, but then she retorted i had no idea how to raise polite children so I also raised my voice and told her to just stay away from the children if she had issue.

I’m still stewing on it today. Bizarre? If she dislikes small children why she even stood so close to a little one (tables scattered out doors in forest area, plenty of space) I don’t know.

I have a dog that has never bitten anyone, but I am glad when parents tell their children not to touch dogs, as some dogs do indeed bite, especially when a clumsy little shouting child is allowed to grab them.

I’m a bit shocked by some of these replies, she’s a 3 year old not 30!? Any adult who is insulted by the words of a 3 year old is a bit precious and needs to get in the real world. She had no right confronting you or criticising your child. When I worked in a nursery children at that age came out with all sorts of random stuff they had overheard not necessarily what they had been taught to say, and most 3 year olds would assume horses belong on a farm if they aren’t used to seeing them out in public. Don’t let it get to you, the fact she was so rude says more about her. (and no I’m not a driver nor have anything against horse riders)

Maybe the horse rider had just been shouted at by some car driver and was feeling a bit delicate. Otherwise it is a bit weird to get so riled up by a three-year-old.

Agree that the woman tackled you because it was clear where your DD got her line of thinking from!

Why on earth would anyone assume a child must have got this from their mother and no-one else? It could be from literally any other adult including people at nursery, from books, from TV, from other children ...

The woman was being ridiculous

There is no way a 3 year could come up with that reasoning

My 3 year old could think along these lines. She has only really seen horses in fields, same with sheep and cows.

Like with car drivers, you will get some horse riders who don’t appear to have any common sense when it comes to roads. Same with push bike and motorbike riders.

Saying that, my DD is very much a back seat driver because of the way she has heard me speak about other road users.

The woman was very bizarre to take such offence at a 3 year old. I probably would have brushed it off.

Yeah she (the woman) was batshit and extremely rude. Ignore!

I live in a foreign country, and on a couple of occasions children much older than this have parroted some nonsense about foreigners they very likely heard from their parents. One ten-year-old shouted "Out with foreigners!" at me. I just ignored him. Another couple of teenagers heard me speaking English to my daughter and told me that "We're in Germany, you should speak German!" I explained in fluent German why we were speaking English. I didn't feel upset in either case, as they were just children.

Has no one read children's books? Kids reinterpret all sorts of stuff. And sometimes they are cheeky little things, no need to go nuclear on the shit parenting rants. YANBU

I think your title is a little mislead and deliberately inflammatory tbh; “angry with your 3yo” implied she had a go at a young child (U). She was actually angry with you I think and probably thought you had told your dd “roads are for cars” and she was just repeating it.

Not nice of her to be rude though.

"There is no way a 3 year could come up with that reasoning"

Mine could have and do (similar ages) come out with all sorts of similar trains of thought. They are pattern finders and like ensuring (other people!) keep to their perception of 'the rules'. Incredibly common and totally believable.

That is so silly of her to get all angry! We live in London and my children would not consider it normal for horses to be on the road. We have seen it the odd time when a police is riding a horse on the road (like once or twice a year). I have NEVER made a comment, and we actually enjoy the odd times we have seen the horses and always point them out. However, I could see why my children might think or say horses don't belong on the road, as its busy here with cars and its not the normal thing...however, they have never said it....but if they did, I would not consider it rude etc. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions!

My 2 year old was in awe at the sight of some mounted police in town the other week. I could see him having the same line of thinking as your DD, that they only live on the farm.
Anyone who doesn't smile at the innocence of children and tries instead to argue with a toddler and then try it with me as well wouldn't have got very far.

I'd have thought it's fairly obvious where her reasoning might have come from. Ever heard the nursery rhyme 'Old MacDonald has a farm'??? There's always the line 'And on that farm he had some horses..,'

The woman was being an idiot. Toddlers take everything to heart and have strong opinions. My DD learnt about pollution at nursery and shouted to a man warming up his car on his driveway that he should switch his engine off because he was making the earth sick. We recycle but we’re not hardcore activists in my house so it’s certainly not something we’re banging on about all day.

As for telling you you don’t know how to raise a polite child, I thought we were past the ‘children should be seen but not heard’ thing.

She's nuts.

& I'm aghast at the posters who don't believe a 3 year old could come up with that thought process on her own. They very much can & do . Perhaps not all, but just because yours didn't, doesn't mean no 3 year old can.

My own DD at that age once told a guy begging at a cash point to "go away & have a wash & get a job like everyone else if you want money" I was mortified as I knew people would presume it came from us, when nothing could be further from the truth.

She also told me at 2,1/2 that "Daddy doesn't go to work you know, he goes to see other ladies" we don't really watch soaps, or anything else that might give her this idea & I'm not the jealous type & neither is he. She eventually owned up that it wasn't true, but thought I'd get angry & make him stay home from work, so she could see more of them.

I would just say that the phrase "Getting on one's high horse" about something exists for a reason.

I was told off by someone for scaring her horse with the lights I was wearing for running. The lights I was wearing because it was quite dark, on a country lane, and she had neither lights nor hi-vis, and presumably a death wish for herself and her horse, not sure what he would have done faced with car headlights.

Horses go in farms. Horses go on the road. And sometimes, cows go on horseback.

So many people take offence nowadays. Ridiculous. As soon as your daughter started talking about unicorns it would be obvious that she was having a standard toddler butterfly brain ramble.

I would just say that the phrase "Getting on one's high horse" about something exists for a reason

TheInvestigator HA! Maybe it is a thing at that age?! How odd! To all horse riders out there, move to the Scottish Borders! Seriously, we love riding up here, never get anything like the kind of abuse you get down South and people actually SMILE when they see the horses! I think it is because there are so few people here, we are not all fighting for every scrap of space.

My dd at 3 thought similarly as we'd driven slowly down some country lanes and dh explained that you go slowly so you don't scare the horses. And being 3 she took that as cars scare horses rather than it just a case of being a courteous driver. The woman you encountered was bizarre.

Utterly bizarre to get so angry over something a bloody toddler said! Doesn't matter if she thought DD was repeating what you had said or not, why get so bothered that she actually pulled you up for it? I would have told her where to go

The woman is an idiot 3 year olds say all sorts of stuff, I also think its perfectly logical thinking for a 3 year old to think that.

After reading on here that most bridle paths start and end on roads its not really something I had thought about but I did wonder why they went on roads without actually realising they were trying to get to bridle paths. Not something I had known not being a horse rider myself as I do think people can often drive too fast near horses.

The lady was jealous because you probably have adorable children, and she lashed out. Kids say ridiculous things all the time, I know kids even over 3 that may say ridiculous things. Don't think about it and chalk it up to being one of those kind of days.

She's batshit going around being offended by 3yo logic. Any children's picture book would show animals like horses in fields, parental opinion isn't the only factor in building a 3 yo's world view.

DS2 (5) is very chatty about this that and anything and goes around announcing things such as "I like that dog. I like slow dogs". He's had umpteen bad experiences with lively "friendly" dogs so is easily startled by bounding, fast dogs and I tend to be on tenterhooks incase he makes a negative announcement about a dog charging around. He is still of a tender enough age where his social filter still has a lot of developing to go. He's not parroting my views about dogs, he's recalling his own experiences of being jumped up at, or falling face down when his instinct was to run away then being sniffed all over as he screamed (he was picked up into my arms and calmed and able to look at the dog from above to regain control).

I can well believe that horse riders get a tough time along with other road users such as cyclists, but taking it out on a 3 yo and their parents who have not caused harm is not going to achieve anything and is more than a little bonkers.