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Original poster

Most embarrassing moment at work

283 replies

HeidiBoo1984 · 27/03/2019 13:06

I love embarrassing moment threads and I'm always embarrassing myself beyond belief at work.

I have endometriosis and it often sends my bowels wild. Our office toilets are basically just within the office, rooms rather than cubicles, and our office, which is more or less open plan with about 8 of us, it's a quiet environment so you can hear everything. Anyway, I've many a time been to the toilet for just a wee and then unexpectedly farted really loudly. I die inside and consider just getting my coat and going home! No one ever says anything, but they must hear!

Does anyone else have any embarrassing stories at work?

OP posts:
Samind · 27/03/2019 21:02

😂 placemarking as I've lost this thread twice already. 😂😂

missbattenburg · 27/03/2019 21:12

At a work do when I was younger I had been talking to a colleague about bullsh*t bingo. A 'game' in which you get bingo points for every cliche, corporate speak word or phrase. Several drinks later I was talking to the CIO and started playing in my head, then under my breath. Confused by drunk I can only assume I forgot exactly what I was doing because I became drunkenly aware of shouting "bingo!" In his face every time he spoke.

He was later fired for fraud and I never drunk that much at a work night out again. Apart from that time I had to call my brother and ask him to translate the tube map down the phone because I knew what station I was at, knew where I needed to get to and could see the map in front of me. I just couldn't make the squiggly lines make sense. I'd lived in London several years at that point. Blush

BlueJava · 27/03/2019 21:12

On my way home from work I went into the supermarket. There was an offer on tampons and toilet roll, I bought a ton of both + some sanitary towels. When I got home my neighbour came over for a chat so I didn't empty my boot. A few days on I was at work (consultant so thank go not permanent) and outside the office this guy wandered over saying he didn't know I had such a wonderful car blah blah (it was an MX5 convertible). He had a look at the dash - then for some reason lifted the boot! The tampons had broken free of their boxes, everything was shaken up and it looked like the boot was entirely full of toilet rolls and sanitary products. Nearly died. We never spoke to it again and he stopped being friendly.

TakenForSlanted · 27/03/2019 21:15

I got shitfaced on a work weekend away.

We all have ...

... mine ended up with me waking up, fully dressed, jeans and all, and luckily together enough to remember nothing more had happened for sure in my hotel room with my boss' boss (male and very married) snoring away beside me.

I woke him up, we ordered room service breakfast so as to avoid anyone else seeing us leave the same room and pledged that we were never, ever ever going to bring it up again.

Miserable failure: "Codeword: Vegas": it's still a favourite inside joke of his and mine and it means "caution, person about to embark on some stupid fucking shit - launch risk mitigation plan".

125678katie · 27/03/2019 21:16

Walked into work after being off for 3 months wearing a button down shirt. Didn’t realise the top buttons had popped down right below my bra. Wondered what the weird looks were for, so mortified

Muddlingalongalone · 27/03/2019 21:19

I fell into a fountain at a conference- 100% sober just not paying attention. Mortifying 😊😊😊😊

BlueJava · 27/03/2019 21:22

It was my first proper job and I'd blagged my way into being a secretary for a head a further education college. One lunch time I was in my office eating lunch and finishing some urgent work - as I took the top off my yoghurt I dropped the whole thing in the bin. So, I picked the bin up (there was nothing dirty in it) and had a few large spoonfuls of the yoghurt that hadn't fallen out the pot. It was only then that I realised my boss was watching me through the window and to him it looked like I was eating out the bin... never seen anyone look quite that shocked! He let is pass and we became good friends.

TroysMammy · 27/03/2019 21:23

FenellaVelour in work we relish saying that. We love Fridays before Bank Holiday Mondays and we always smirk when confirming appointments over the phone, "see you next Tuesday".

cookielove · 27/03/2019 21:23

I work in a nursery, years ago i was talking to a parent and some other work colleagues, i can't actually remember what were talking about but it must have been about a farm or poultry or something. Somehow we were talking about chickens and cockerels and things they would wear. When i said loudly 'i can just see it now him strutting around the yard like a big hard cock' BlushBlush

PinkGlitter123 · 27/03/2019 21:24

Sitting down on the floor and loudly farting in front of colleague.

Falling over a kids spacehopper which had been left out and doing a dramatic bounce, travel and fall, all watched by a customer. 😐

GetsIt · 27/03/2019 21:25

I was Booking a ferry for one of our vehicles and dutifully did the phonetic alphabet properly for the numberplate properly until this came out of my mouth "y for wanky"

I still haven't quite lived it down with the ferry company

Violetroselily · 27/03/2019 21:29

@TaMereAPoilDevantPrisu

Grin that is mortifying

1CantPickAName · 27/03/2019 21:40

🤣

GetStrongKeepFighting · 27/03/2019 21:40

Some of these have definitely been copied.

lablablab · 27/03/2019 21:43

@Hoppinggreen I'm crying!!! 😂😂😂

CanuckBC · 27/03/2019 21:50

These are fantastic!🤣

Maxineputyourredshoeson · 27/03/2019 21:56

Years ago whilst working in a bank, I managed to set off my personal alarm whilst going to the toilet. In my hurry to let everyone know I was okay and it had accidentally been set off I managed to whack myself in the face with the (very heavy) toilet door. I sported a lovely badly bruised stripe down my face for nearly two weeks!

dippyeggsandsoldiers · 27/03/2019 21:59

I was talking to a client on the phone and wished him a "merry Christmas"... in June. Still have no idea why I said it.

Another time I was on the phone to a different client, spelling out a word and instead of saying Y for Yankee I said Y for wanky.

Seren85 · 27/03/2019 22:06

I was just about to post my "Y for Wanky" story! I was quite new in a call centre job and hadn't quite got the hang of the phonetic alphabet. I've broken a bone on a works night out and had to call my boss in the morning to tell her knowing she'd seen me doing shots with a load of top barristers. The other one that sticks with me was during a telephone CMC with District Judge when I was agreeing his proposed direction and said "if it suits you, Sir". DJ said, "Miss Seren, I beg your pardon?" snippily as my office mate practically fell off his chair laughing at me. He never let me live it down!

Kylieemilyj · 27/03/2019 22:07

The Ham sandwich story had me and my partner in stitches (i had to explain to him that MN isnt just pregnant ladies though, he thought it was and tried to blame pregnancy brain for it?)

Anyway, my most embarrassing moment has got to be when ive dropped food on a customer. the first time was the tiniest bit of sauce down someones back, mostly on the chair, i apologised loads, and the bloke shouted at me and told me I should pay for his drycleaning (I work for a pub chain.... not exactly posh food) i went back and punched a wall, cried for about an hour while said customer came and screamed at my co workers too. Ive knocked drinks over customers many times, luckily most customers find it hilarious and of course i get them a fresh drink which helps!
Ive had situations where Ive got so tongue tied while chatting to customers ive gone 'bleufhgjgjgf sorry let me start again' to which i get very strange looks! Also farted in front of customers before!

RobinHobb · 27/03/2019 22:13

Classics I think :-)

churgon · 27/03/2019 22:20

I’ve had a few. Notably one Christmas do when there was another unknown company in the same event (my tight coolant paid an event company for an ‘exclusive event’ that basically meant there was another company in a separate room but all entertainment was weirdly in the middle so this forced mingling.
Me and some colleagues got soooo drunk we went to the other companies dinner by accident. Apparently our boss was not impressed as she had to sit on her own at a table due to our non attendance.

Another Christmas do at a different company my new dh had to come collect me between two blokes from my firm who had to carry me out the venue. I’d been there two months and this was the first time I’d spoken to most people in the company Blush

churgon · 27/03/2019 22:20

Company not coolant...

rose789 · 27/03/2019 22:22

I was at a large conference and the room was packed. It was dull dull dull I decided I could slip out unobtrusively and reappear at the next scheduled break as I was at the side of the room. The lights were off as there was a presentation at the front of the room. Slipped my way round the back of the room like a ninja, tripped over the wire for the projector and the lights went arse over tit and brought down a speaker and a huge set of lights with me. Room in pitch darkness until someone found the lights. As the CEO nicely reminded everyone when I was back in my seat this was the reason they had requested people not to move around the room during the presentation for health and safety reasons... I work in insurance Blush
The meeting afterwards was mortifying and I had to pretend that I had felt faint and sick and didn’t want to cause a fuss.

Bouncylion · 27/03/2019 22:26

Dying at some of these Grin

Our team had a new head of department who called everyone into his office for a business update. There was probably 30 of us in a small office with not enough chairs and no air flow. I was stood up, leant against a wall and started to feel really light headed and sick. I couldn't decide whether to try and cross the room to leave or wait it out. I figured I'd be safe leant against the wall for support...nope! I fainted and fell at the feet of the new boss, knocking my head on his desk and splitting the top of my ear open on the way. Everyone else got ushered out whilst a first aider was called. They decided I had to go to A&E to have my ear glued and I had to walk back through the office to get my stuff with everyone looking at me.

Another one. My team regularly passes paperwork between each other. My colleague, being sily, handed me something and said "Proofy-Woofy for you". Without thinking I took it and replied "Thank you, wank you"! Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at me but it took me a few moments to realise what I'd said Blush I haven't lived that one down. It got bought up by my boss in my maternity leave speech