Most embarrassing moment at work

[HeidiBoo1984]

I love embarrassing moment threads and I'm always embarrassing myself beyond belief at work.

I have endometriosis and it often sends my bowels wild. Our office toilets are basically just within the office, rooms rather than cubicles, and our office, which is more or less open plan with about 8 of us, it's a quiet environment so you can hear everything. Anyway, I've many a time been to the toilet for just a wee and then unexpectedly farted really loudly. I die inside and consider just getting my coat and going home! No one ever says anything, but they must hear!

Does anyone else have any embarrassing stories at work?

Oh there is one I have obviously tried to block from my mind! I was a dish washer in a pub kitchen and I was desperate to be allowed to waitress as well. I was also responsible for putting the desserts together so I did a jam roly poly and custard and was told to take it out. Off I go to the table and see an actor who lives locally but was at the time doing a large part in a national soap. I was trying to be cool, turned around to put his down and dropped it in his lap. The worst part is that I then tried to help him clean it up! I was never allowed to waitress again. Probably for the best.

Corporate meal sat next to a man I didn't know. Chatting away when a woman came over to speak to him and called him Dad. For some unknown reason I deduced that his nickname was Dad and proceeded to call him Dad all though the meal despite the look of horror on his (and his daughter's face). At one point he literally turned his back on me to speak to the person on his other side but I still didn't get the hint and so was trying to get his attention by saying "Dad, dad, excuse me Dad". I didn't understand why the rest of the table was just staring at me. He never spoke to me again. I wasn't even drinking so have no idea what I was thinking.

One day I was at the bus stop, and one of my hold ups kept falling down. No one about, bus not due so I decided to just take them off. Took one off and yep, bus came round the corner. Not only did I have to stand at the front of the bus with one bare leg and one in black 80 denier, I then ended up being accossted as soon as I got into the building by several big bosses who need attention NOW and wouldn't even let me go to the toilet so I spent the morning rocking the odd leg look.

I was trying out my quite frankly piss poor french to get some personal details from a client about her family. I tried to ask the name of le petit bebe. I completely lost my head and asked the name of le petit bete... the little beast. The mother just stared at me, quite rightly.

This wasn’t actually my mistake, but one year some colleagues and I decided to have a party for Eurovision. I offered to host it because at the time I lived alone. One of my colleagues said he would send an email round with the details, but for some reason sent it to the global address book (huge company with multiple locations) asking people to RSVP to me. His email asked people to pick a country, and let me know what food and drink they would bring, representing that country. I received some very interesting messages, and one guy who none of us had ever met actually turned up.

BlackSatinDancer

Amimissingsomethinghere
Always carry a metal nail file in your bag for, ahem, chopping things up

There's something easier to prevent the blockage - PFWF (Poo, flush, wipe, flush). It's not the poo but the paper.

I’ve got loads but my best ones are:

My first ever big client meeting with one of the owners of the company and I was asked to order lunch in, I ordered a delicious lunch. The meeting started and it hadn’t arrived so I left my colleague with instructions to chase them up and bring it in when it arrived. The food finally turned up almost 2 hours late and a colleague rushed it in and hissed at me that the sparkling water was frozen so he’d pulled it out.
Everyone started eating while I finished my bit and I bit into an egg mayo sandwich which was crunchy with ice. I was horrified and was looking around to see if everyone else had frozen sandwiches to find my boss eyeballing me across the table, he sighed said something about the food needing a bit of room temperature and offered the crisps and dip to start with. He then whilst making quite an important statement stabbed the crisp in to the dip and the crisp promptly shattered into a million pieces because the dip was frozen solid too! I died on the spot. Did get a full refund for the crappy lunch though.

The second one, I was asked to make some bite sized training videos for customers and was asked to record and voice them and send for editing. My line manager stayed in for the first couple and then said he’d leave me too it. I was bored so started googling mobile hairdressers and evening dresses for a business awards we were nominated for the following month. Found some stuff and then made the video. Sent it over for editing and heard my boss crying with laughter, I’d been recording the whole time and sent him a 40 minute video of me quite clearly not working at all and googling, checking social media different hairstyles. With a 4 minute video on the end of what was actually supposed to have been created 🤦🏼‍♀️

He brings it up every time I make a new training guide “oh Matilda have you given me training on the “company” product or some training in googling ‘hair ups for awards do’ “

I was on the NHS graduate management training scheme and as part of our induction we got to go to different parts of the NHS. One day I was due to go into theatre. I turned up, got changed into the scrubs they have and went into theatre. I was trying my best to impress and was asking all sorts of intelligent questions of the theatre manager. Due to the heat, smell of burning fat and lack of air I came over a bit light headed. Having had experience of fainting I asked to sit down. The next thing I remembered I was face down on the floor with half the theatre staff around me as I’d passed out.

That’s not the worst bit.

As I started to come around I was aware I felt uncomfortable in my groin area and a horrifying thought came over me. I whispered to the lady nearest me “have I wet myself” and she just nodded and said “ yes I’m afraid you have”. As I was still very pale and shaky I had to get on a trolley while the staff wheeled me back to recovery. I felt bloody mortified. They gave me clean scrubs and I called my DH to come and collect me. Needless to say I never went back there (and probably became a folklore story for future graduates!)

Had a really smug show off boss who came in and announced loudly "Hi! I've just come in my TVR." Before I could stop myself, I shot back "Ooh you dirty bastard". I was the hero of the office but mortified. Ive never learned to engage brain before opening mouth.

@TheDarkOverload oh my god I am horrified for you! Oh goodness hahaha

Years ago I worked in a print department. I had on a denim shirt with popper buttons - the photocopiers had massive Drawers for paper,I slammed one shut , caught my shirt in it and it ripped open in front of my manager and a salesman. I still go red thinking about it. 😭🙈

Thank you, wank you

Nooooooooooooooo

Just placemarking here 😁

Walked into my annual pay review, 6 months after transferring to a new department, so new-ish boss. Started to sit down and, for reasons that I have never understood, threw my glass of water at him. The whole thing, glass and all, just left my hand and landed all over him. I don't embarrass easily but this was mortifying. And hilarious, so of course it took me 5 minutes to calm down enough to apologise.

And DH has just kicked me out of bed for laughing too much.

Went for an interview at a vairy posh place. The boss was leading the way to the interview, up old stone stairs. She looked behind to check I was following. I wanr’t. I’d tripped over my own feet and was lying spreadeagled flat on my face. Didn’t get the job.

I’ve also done the email to the wrong person thing. We were organising an event but the line manager was ignoring his part of it so we couldn’t proceed, so I emailed my second in charge saying the line manager had done sod all to help and was useless. I pressed send, then later asked my second about it. She hadn’t received it. I checked my sent folder. It had somehow gone to the big boss! He was not pleased! 😳

Mine was last week. I am currently job-hunting and was on the phone on the train telling DH about the interview I had just Had for an admin person in a science dept. who are currently running a study into Chlamydia. DH was like, “Huh? What?” so I kept having to repeat myself and people on the train were beginning to look. So I WhatsApp’d him the following message:

CHLAMYDIA you deaf git!!!

Except I sent it to my current boss instead. Nothing has been said. It’s like the elephant in the room. I just pray I get a new job soon...

I'm loving these!
For me, a very cold day so wearing tights for work with a pair of knickers over the top to keep them up. Whilst walking across the playground, the pair of knickers begin their descent down my legs... Oh the actual shame!
Closely beaten by my cloud being linked to all the work I pads, I'm dieting so many naked pictures so I can see progress... And apparently so did everyone else! I have never wanted to have a cardiac arrest so much in my life!

I logged into my Outlook account at the start of a board meeting to upload a PowerPoint presentation. Then a message popped up: “2 for 1 on Mooncups.”

Thankfully, all the attendees were men so probably don’t know what a Mooncup is.

"Dad, dad, excuse me Dad" has joined "need a wee" in my lexcon of things that make me spontaneously giggle

Our workplace were considering a relocation which would have had a massive impact on some staff i.e they it would mean some would have public transport journeys increased from 1.5 hrs there and back to 2.5hrs, so it obviously caused a few concerns.
When the boss came back in i mentioned to him that we had a 'mass debate' over it and everyone died of laughter. It took another half an hour for me to catch up then die with embarrassment!

Sharing naked photos of yourself?

@cookielove

My tea's just been expelled forcibly from my nose thanks to you and your big hard cock

Probably when I was admitted as a patient to my own work and had to be catheterised by a colleague. It was a full on jungle down there because I had had a broken wrist and I'm hairy naturally

Old job hungover to buggery and still suffering the consequences of having my drink spiked. Delivery turned up, opened the door and stood there was a really good looking delivery driver. I stood there and blurred out fuck me you're gorgeous!! Brings last cage in and a full pack of rice pudding pots fall off the top and explode everywhere. Can't stand the stuff and my already even weaker than normal tummy wound up in me promptly throwing up all over the delivery driver. Cue a few months later and transferred to a different store same delivery driver came. This time I'd decided to wear a shirt instead of a tee shirt and as I'd squeezed past the cages to take him a cup of coffee out unbeknownst to me the top half of the buttons had come undone. I'm stood out in street and he's stood there talking and trying to divert eye contact whilst discreetly trying to tell me I was flashing. Nearly died of embarrassment thankfully I'd worn a decent bra that day. Ended up full on crying and snotting all over his shoulder a few weeks later. Poor guys just stood there trying to calm me down and sat with me through 2 massive panic attacks. Can't have put him off too much though because we're now together

Blurted Not blurted